Where My Demons Hide
by RediculouslyWicked
Summary: AU - Elsa is captured by the Southern Isles and used as a weapon of war. However, she continues to fight to return to Anna in Arendelle, but their relationship becomes even more complicated when they discover new feelings for each other. Dark!Elsa. Elsanna. M for swearing. Sex. Smut. Incest. And incestuous smut in later chapters.
1. Without You

**A/N: So this is a different kind of story. It's an Elsanna fic! YAYYYY! My first attempt at writing Elsanna...so bear with me. It's an AU where Elsa is captured at 13 and used as a weapon of war. **

**A warning to you guys: There will be extremely dark themes later on in this story (self-harm, rape, torture, etc.).**

**Also, credzzzz to Kipo (at least I think that's what the name says xP) who drew the picture I used for the cover of this fic...caught my eye on tumblr as it's such a beautiful piece of art. Enjoy!**

**Where My Demons Hide **

Chapter 1 - Without You

"_When the days are cold and the cards all fold…" – Demons, by Imagine Dragons_

This was, by far, the bloodiest day in Arendelle history. When the selfish desires of a ruler overtake the desire to do good, that's when disaster strikes. The Southern Isles: never considered a good country, although they weren't necessarily bad either. But oh, the desires, the desires, the desires.

King Jotham of the Southern Isles was growing too old to rule anymore. Next in line to the throne: his son, Prince Aeron. And the wicked desires he had. He couldn't wait for his father to die, so one night he sneaked poison into his wine, and later claimed that he had died of natural causes. No one raised a finger to it. After all, King Jotham was almost seventy-two.

Once he took the throne, now King Aeron, set out to make the Southern Isles the most powerful country in all the land. He made his way quickly through all the countries…how pathetic they were to try and stop him. After all, the Southern Isles was a breeding ground for charming, deceptive, lethal soldiers. However, Arendelle is where his conquest fell short. They had one of the best navies in what King Aeron thought all the world, and a hidden gem that he couldn't wait to use: The King's daughter.

King Aeron wasted no time once the first ship entered the harbor. When they were close enough, his men poured out of the ship, blowing through Arendelle's army like a tornado destroying a poorly built home. That was what Arendelle was to him anyway. Their navy might be good but after that…there was nothing.

"Get to the castle, and kill anyone in your way. I don't care if they're children, babies, adults…no one stops us from taking Arendelle!" King Aeron shouted at his men. A cheer chorused through them as they began to move forward.

King Frederick of Arendelle saw the storm approaching from a window in the castle. Quite frankly, he didn't care if he lived or died at this point. He only wanted to save his daughters, and God only knew how Elsa would react in a situation like this.

Elsa was in her room with Anna, the ten year old redhead on the verge of tears, the thirteen year old platinum blonde on the verge of a breakdown. Anna had taken Elsa's gloves, saying that her powers would keep them safe. Elsa wished she could tell her sister how wrong she was. She couldn't control them. Razor sharp icicles now jutted out of the walls and ceiling, piles of snow resting in the corners of the room. Elsa had absolutely no idea what would happen if someone came into the room and tried to harm either her or Anna. She was sure she'd be able to control her powers enough to protect them, but she had no way of knowing until that actually happened.

Meanwhile, back in the throne room, King Frederick faced his death with bravery. He knew King Aeron wouldn't spare him…he spared no one. That man was a killing machine who managed to brainwash his country into rallying behind him.

They seized him quickly, and King Aeron strode towards him calmly, sword in hand. King Frederick didn't panic though. He knew this was coming. And him coming off as completely passive about his sure death would only anger Aeron even more…and at this point, that's all Frederick wanted.

"Frederick, my dear friend," Aeron said. "It's been so long since we've seen each other. How are you?"

"If you mean that as in how I am taking my inevitable murder…I'd say just fine," Frederick answered.

A flash of rage crossed Aeron's eyes. His eyes…such a dark shade of brown they looked black, and Frederick was sure they were. Aeron grazed the tip of his sword over Frederick's left arm, before pressing in ever so slightly and swiping the blade away, leaving a gash in the side of his arm. Frederick gritted his teeth in pain, trying with all his might to stump Aeron at his own game. This man was a psychopath, and Frederick wanted to make him struggle as much as possible, even if it meant suffering a long and painful death.

"You will die," Aeron said. "But not in the way you hoped. I may choose to make you suffer, or I may choose to get rid of you quickly. Actually, I already made up my mind."

"I hope you made the right decision."

Another swipe of the blade, this time to Frederick's right arm. He wasn't bleeding profusely, but definitely enough to begin soaking through his shirt.

"Where are your daughters?" Aeron snarled.

"You will not hurt them!" Frederick shouted. Aeron smirked, satisfied that his enemy was caving in ever so slightly.

"Oh trust me, I won't. I'm not even going to kill them. Now, where are they?"

"Your Majesty, we have them!" one of the soldiers shouted down the hall. Within seconds, two of Aeron's guards came dragging both girls behind them. Anna's face was filled with fear, while Elsa's had absolutely no expression. Her face blank of any emotion, but Frederick saw it in those icy blue eyes of hers: the anger and strength to try and control her powers.

"Killing them is a waste of my time," Aeron continued. "But plaguing their minds with the vision of their father dying before them…now that's something. Didn't they already go through that with their mother?"

"Don't bring her up, you bastard," Frederick hissed through gritted teeth.

"Daddy!" Anna wailed behind Aeron.

"Oh it's okay sweetie," Aeron said, turning to face the small redhead. "He'll be out of his misery soon enough, don't worry."

_He's insane, _Elsa thought, still keeping her stone cold expression. She couldn't crack. Not here, not now…not ever. "Don't hurt him anymore," she said, voice steady and calm.

"I won't dear," Aeron replied. "But oh, one more time would be fun before I finally put my sword thorough his chest." With that, Aeron dragged the blade of his sword slowly across Frederick's stomach, pushing deep enough so that _now _he was bleeding profusely, the blood pouring out of his midsection, seeping through his shirt, soon dripping onto the ground. Still though, Frederick made no sound of pain, and only clenched his jaw even tighter.

"Anna, close your eyes," Elsa commanded, and Anna obeyed. She didn't want her little sister to endure this. She didn't want her to see their father now hunched over in pain, the life now draining from his chocolate brown eyes. "Stop," she said to Aeron.

"One more maybe?" he shot back, slicing the left shoulder of the King open.

Elsa could feel the anger boiling inside of her, and no one yet noticed the small layer of frost beginning to form under her feet, slowly spreading outward with each passing second. Elsa knew she was losing control, and she didn't know when she was bound to explode. _Conceal, don't feel, _she told herself over and over again.

"Okay…I'm done with my games. It's no fun when they aren't begging for me to put them out of their misery," Aeron scoffed.

Elsa could only watch in horror, as the King of the Southern Isles lifted his sword, plunging it into and through her father's chest. The piercing of flesh, the cracking of bone, the scream of anguish that came from her father…it was all too much for her.

Elsa let out her own scream, except this one of anger, and spears of ice shot from her fingertips, lodging themselves into the chests of two unlucky soldiers. The frost gathered much more quickly now, spreading across the floor and making its way up the walls.

"Well, this is interesting," Aeron said, letting Frederick's body fall to the floor with a loud _thump _as he made his way over to Elsa.

"Don't hurt my sister," she said, cold blue eyes burning into jet black ones.

"Oh, I won't hurt either of you. In fact, my soldiers will take very good care of your sister. You however, are coming with me."

"Don't take her!" Anna cried.

"Anna stop, you'll only make things worse," Elsa shot back. She hated being like this with her sister. She spent too much time locked away in her room, afraid of hurting her once again. She regretted never spending any time with Anna, and any future they could've had together was now being taken away by this monster. But she needed to protect Anna.

"Elsa, please…don't leave me!" Anna shouted back as the guards began pulling Elsa away from her little sister.

"I'll come back for you," Elsa said before she was led around the corner, out of sight from her sister. "I promise," she whispered.

"Don't worry Elsa," Aeron began. "She will not be harmed, I assure you. And neither will you. I have other plans for you, and I think you might like them."

"Please," Elsa scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Aeron's lips tugged up into a lopsided smirk. _Elsa. _He decided he liked this girl. She had attitude, grit, poise, calmness, and now she just needed to learn some self-control.

"I can teach you to channel and control your powers," he told her.

"What do you know about control?" she shot back as the guards guided her out of the castle. Soon enough they were down by the docks, Aeron placing his hand on Elsa's shoulder to lead her onto his boat, only to have it shrugged off within a few seconds.

"Look, I don't have powers like you, but I can help you to keep them under control, how to suppress them, how to use them when the time is right."

"Whatever," she said.

Aeron wasn't the least bit offended by Elsa's behavior. In fact, he was more shocked at how she went with him without even putting up a fight. Her expression never changed. She just saw her father murdered in front of her and was just taken from her sister. _A little bit surprising if I say so myself, _Aeron thought, chuckling slightly.

Back in the castle, Anna cried into her pillow. Well actually, into Elsa's pillow. Aeron was right though, she wasn't harmed…at least not yet. His soldiers left her alone with some food, but she didn't eat it. How could she? She didn't open her eyes through her father's murder. But she did open them to his dead body lying in front of her. She fell to her knees at the sight, wondering how Elsa could have managed to stay calm throughout the whole ordeal.

She lost her sister once. Nearly three years shut out of her sister's room. No talking, no touching, no playing…nothing. Anna talked into the door for those years, hoping her sister was at least listening to her on the other side.

Anna curled up on her sister's bed, wondering if King Aeron stuck to his word about not harming either one of them. She prayed he would. But she couldn't imagine why Aeron would want Elsa…

* * *

The Southern Isles weren't very far from Arendelle, so it only took about five days of travel to return. It was bigger than Arendelle however, as it was spread out over a few islands, the biggest one housing the castle as well as the countries' upper class citizens. It wasn't anything nice to look at, Elsa concluded, and she hated it the moment she saw it.

"Why am I here?" Elsa demanded once she was led into the castle. It wasn't nearly as nice or colorful as the one in Arendelle. Instead of lavish reds, greens, and blues lining the floors and walls, dull greys, blues, and browns filled the castle. _Who puts dull grey, blue, and brown together? Are these people idiots? Don't they know not to clash neutrals? _Elsa thought in disgust.

"So you can learn to control your powers, to put it simply," Aeron replied. "Starting tomorrow, you will be on the road to becoming one of the most powerful people in the entire world."

The idea didn't appeal to Elsa. It even frightened her. But she at least had to humor the king.

"Fine," she muttered as Aeron showed her down a long hallway, eventually stopping at a bedroom.

"This will be yours," he said to her.

Elsa gave a small nod of her head, walking slowly into the room before Aeron shut the door behind her, leaving her to herself. Elsa knew she didn't want this.

_How could I leave Anna like that? She's only ten! Now she's all alone. I just hope his men don't hurt her. I just want her to be safe. Maybe she is safer away from me. At least I can't hurt her now…_

As he walked into the throne room, King Aeron smiled to himself, proud of his accomplishments over the last week. He had taken Arendelle. True, he had lost a lot of men during their sea battles. But in the end, it was worth it. It was worth everything for him to take King Frederick's life with his sword. It was worth everything for him to see the people of Arendelle surrender to him so quickly, doing anything in their power to save their own lives. It was all worth it.

"King Aeron, Your Majesty, what do you plan on doing with the girl back in Arendelle?" His younger brother, Talbot, asked.

"She will not be harmed. I can use her against the one we have here very easily."

"And what do you plan to do with her?"

"Oh, isn't it obvious? When she is older, maybe at eighteen perhaps, we will have the greatest weapon of all. No one will stand a chance. Elsa doesn't know how to channel her powers yet. Ice…it can be so beautiful, powerful, and dangerous all at once. She will be the greatest weapon ever. I will exploit her angers, fears, and doubts in ways that will make her let loose everything she's been holding in all these years. She can destroy countries with her powers. She has the potential to call an icy hell from her fingertips whenever she pleases. Soon, with her, we will be unstoppable."

* * *

**A/N: Be sure to review...constructive criticism is always welcomed as well!**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	2. Let It Go

Chapter 2 - Let It Go

"_And the saints we see are all made of gold…" – Demons, by Imagine Dragons_

**One year later**

"Let go Elsa! Come on!" King Aeron shouted.

"It's not true!" she yelled back.

Aeron threw his hands up in frustration at the blonde. She had been making steady progress with unleashing her powers. For only fourteen years old, she was already a threat. Of course, no one else knew about Elsa except Aeron and his brothers. The King figured word had probably gotten around by now…only rumors though. Elsa would be his secret until she was old enough to unleash it all.

King Aeron was honest with the girls when he said they wouldn't be harmed. Elsa was well taken care of, and he acted like a father figure to her…though she still hated him. She also hated his brothers. All twelve of them. They were all so deceptive and manipulative. She couldn't stand it. But regardless, she acted polite around them. She knew if she wanted any chance of making back to Anna, she had to play them at their own sick game.

"Do you honestly think your parents ever loved you?" Aeron snarled. "They shut you out from the world for nearly three years! They didn't let you have any human contact. You couldn't even see your sister!"

"Because I hurt her! They were trying to protect Anna!"

"Exactly…and what did that do for you? They helped Anna, but they never helped you."

"My father was teaching me how to conceal my powers," Elsa said through clenched teeth.

"That's where he went wrong!" Aeron exclaimed. "Why would you want to conceal something so powerful? So beautiful? Why would you want to hide who you truly are? All you needed to do was learn how to control them."

"I can't," Elsa gave back weakly.

"Ah but you are. Look, you aren't even wearing gloves now!"

Elsa glanced down at her hands, a smile beginning to tug at her lips. True, she wasn't wearing gloves. But that was as far as she could get. She was sure a layer of frost would begin forming any second now.

"Then why would father want me to hide it?" she asked.

This was the question Aeron was waiting for. Now, he could deliver the final blow to Elsa. For one whole year he had been trying to convince her that her parents never loved her, and instead that they feared her. They feared someone who was different and were afraid she would hurt them one day like she did Anna. However, he _did _manage to convince Elsa that her country would surely kneel before her if they knew what she was capable of. No one stood a chance against the power of her ice.

"That's simple, Elsa," Aeron started. "Your parents didn't want all of Arendelle to fear you and think of you as the monster they thought you were."

"They thought I was a monster?" Elsa whimpered.

"Don't be upset by it." Aeron was desperate now. He could see the anger welling up in those clear blue eyes of hers. He knew she needed to release it too.

"I'm not upset." A smile formed on Aeron's face as he saw the frost begin to creep across the stone of the courtyard they were in.

"It's okay Elsa. Let it all out," he pressed on.

"How could my own parents hate me!" Elsa cried, the frost growing more rapidly now.

And in that moment, something snapped in Elsa. She didn't know why she was believing King Aeron of all people. She convinced herself she wouldn't let him use her, that he wouldn't manipulate her any way he wanted to. But something about it made sense. It had to, right? Her father never told her to control her powers. He told her to 'conceal it, don't feel it'…and what was he trying to accomplish with that? _Nothing, _she thought. It got her nowhere. She couldn't conceal what was dying to surface. But she _could _learn to control it.

This all had to be a reasonable explanation. Her parents must have feared her. Hell, after she hurt Anna, Elsa rarely even saw her mother. She always avoided her, it seemed…like she was always nervous about another accident like that happening. Her father always babied her…most definitely out of fear of what would happen if Elsa lost all sense of her emotions. _He must have been afraid. They never wanted me to show any emotion at all, _she concluded. It was the only logical explanation. It just had to be. Elsa needed something to believe now, since she couldn't tell who was actually telling the truth.

True, Elsa hated King Aeron. She watched him slaughter her father right in front of her. But somewhere deep down inside her, she had the gut-wrenching feeling he was speaking true words right now. She would never forget the way her parents had looked at her when they saw her cradling Anna in her arms that dreadful night. It was a stupid accident. Elsa couldn't keep up with Anna and she had slipped on the ice. She struck Anna in the head, and had thought she killed her little sister. She had never felt so much panic run through her at once.

But the way her parents looked at her. Pure horror, concern, pain, and well…fear clouded their eyes. The way her father had said 'What have you done?', as if he was accusing her of the worst crime ever committed. The way her mother had cried through the whole night, not sparing her one glance through it all. The way they shut her away from people, not letting her have any contact with even her own sister. She regretted everything about it. But her parents had had to be terrified of her if they went to all those extreme measures. There was no other reason.

"They never loved me," she muttered. And in that one statement Elsa pictured her parents standing in front of her. The anger boiled up in her veins and heated her ice cold blood. A bloodthirsty look filled her eyes, making them a darkest shade of blue, and with a flick of her wrist, she saw two spears of razor sharp ice lodge themselves in her parents' chests.

King Aeron watched in amazement as the icicles shot out of thin air, careening across the courtyard, hitting the stone wall with so much force they broke through the rocks. He smiled again, knowing this was only the beginning.

And there was plenty more to come, as the temperature around them dropped a good forty degrees to what felt like subzero temperatures now. A cold wind picked up, as Elsa stood there with one of her expressionless masks on. But Aeron saw it. He saw the shards of ice forming in her hands. And one by one, she hurled them through the air. Each one found a place on her parents' bodies in Elsa's eyes, while King Aeron saw bullet after bullet of ice shatter and pierce through the stone wall of the courtyard as if it was made of thin glass.

"That's for lying to me," Elsa snarled at the visions of her parents, now dead and bloodied in her eyes. Then, she stormed off, leaving Aeron standing in awe.

He was on his way. If this is what she could do at fourteen, just wait until she was eighteen. By then, he would have a force of nature at his fingertips. He would have, essentially, a killing machine.

* * *

Anna was curled on her bed, face buried into her pillow, crying as she thought of her sister. She missed her terribly. For three long years she rarely saw Elsa, and she didn't even know why either. But now, Elsa was in the Southern Isles, and God only knew how long they'd be separated this time. Anna only hoped she was okay.

King Aeron had not harmed her yet here in Arendelle, although the people had suffered greatly. There were so many corpses from that day Arendelle was invaded that mass graves were eventually built. It was horrible, but Anna was shielded from most of it in the castle.

The guards and soldiers from the Southern Isles respected her. She was taken care of, although she didn't interact with people over the past year very often. She spent the days locked away in her room, only opening the door when food was brought to her. She cried herself to sleep, hoping for the day that she would be united again with her sister. They already had three years to make up together. She couldn't bear it if it had to be more.

Anna was never sure if her sister was safe, but she kept telling herself that she was. She still couldn't imagine what King Aeron was using her for back in the Southern Isles. It scared her to think of the possibilities. _Maybe I can reach her someway, _Anna thought, an idea racing into her mind. Quickly, she hopped off of her bed, wiping her tears on the sleeve of her nightgown as she made her way over to her desk. She took out a pen and a piece of paper and began to write.

_Elsa,_

_I miss you so much. This past year I've thought about you every day. I just want to know that you're okay. I'm okay though, but I just want you to come home. Arendelle hasn't been the same. The soldiers here are brutal to the people, but they take care of me. I don't know why._

_Please, just tell me you're alright. Then maybe I won't worry as much. I hope we can see each other soon._

_Love, Anna_

She wasn't very good at getting her thoughts down onto paper, but this would have to do. Elsa needed to know she needed her.

"Theo?" Anna said softly as she opened the door to her room.

"Yes?"

"Is there a way this could be sent to my sister?" she asked, widening her turquoise eyes, giving the guard her best puppy dog face.

"Yes, of course," he answered. "I will have it sent today."

"Thank you." She handed him the letter and then retreated back into her room. She hoped the guard kept his word. _Why wouldn't he? _She thought. _I'm an adorable eleven year old princess! How could he say no?_

* * *

"The world will be kneeling before you," King Aeron said.

"Because they'll be afraid of me," Elsa retorted.

"No. Because they will admire you. They will revere you, Elsa. They will do anything you say so they might have the opportunity to be blessed by your magic. Think of all the power you will have."

"What if I don't want that? What if I just want to control this curse?"

"It's not a curse, Elsa. It's a gift. And if all you want is to control it, then you will. But bear in mind, if people know you have this great power and you choose to subdue it and spare them punishment with it, their adoration will only grow. Being able to pardon someone is also a great gift," Aeron said convincingly.

"And what have you ever known about pardoning someone? Last time I checked you gave my father's heart a huge blow right in front of me," Elsa shot back.

_Oh, the temper with this one, _Aeron thought, internally chuckling. Aeron thought that maybe this was why Elsa was having such a hard time learning to control her powers. She had such a quick temper. She was always ready to lash out at someone or react without truly thinking about the consequences. "I thought you hated him?"

"This doesn't have anything to do with love or hate, and you know that." For fourteen Elsa was already growing into an extremely aware and mature young lady. She knew exactly what Aeron was trying to do to her. He wanted her to turn on all the other countries for the sole benefit of the Southern Isles. But she couldn't do that, especially since one of those countries was Arendelle.

"I know. What I was trying to say…people respect you even more if you show mercy and are able to pardon others. It shows character. It makes you look responsible and mature. It shows them you have self-control."

"And what if I don't pardon? What if I abuse my powers and just kill anyone who got in my way or disagreed with me? That would be so much easier," Elsa said with a smirk.

"Ah, but that's where you are wrong. Remember this Elsa: You already hold so much control over people with your magic. Using it to harm them in the way you're talking about will only make them fear you - ,"

"I don't want to be feared. I don't want to be a monster like…like _some _people thought." Even at the thought of her parents, a spear of ice formed in Elsa's hand, and she slammed it into the ground in pure anger.

"That's what I was getting at," he told her. "You want to use your powers to your advantage. And for you, that would be winning over people with you charm and a pretty face. But, looks can be deceiving. You want them to know that you can control it, but you also want them to know that if they stand in front of you in any threatening way or make attempts at your life…they will be punished, _severely._"

"But Aeron," Elsa started, "what you want me to do for you means I'll have to kill so many people anyway."

Aeron let out a long sigh as he thought about his response. He knew Elsa was catching on to his plan, but he didn't know she was _that _aware about it. Yet a smile still crept onto Aeron's face as he opened his mouth to respond. "Elsa, my dear, you seem so eager to do it." He really had no idea of what was the right thing to say in this situation, but hopefully Elsa would clear things up for him.

"I wouldn't say eager just yet. When I saw you kill my father, it looked so terrible, but it sparked this curiosity in me," Elsa said. "Taking someone's life, to me, is one of the greatest forms of power. And I've never had power like that before. Killing someone simply because I can..." She liked the idea: Being able to off anyone who stood in her way. It was so easy, and she had no doubt that she wouldn't hesitate to do it.

"I can tell you that that sort of power can bring about some of the best and worst feelings inside you. But, when you take another kingdom, you also want the people to know that you have the ability to show mercy on those who have acted against you in minor ways. You will be ruling over them, and they will know the forces you have against them. Always keep this in mind: True power is when you have every justification to kill someone, and then you don't."

* * *

"Princess Elsa," a voice called from the hallway. She immediately recognized it as Silas, and she internally groaned. _What does he want?_

"What?" she said a little more hostile than she would've like.

"A letter came for you today," he replied, handing her an envelope.

"Thanks." He smiled at her before she closed the door. _Ugh, stupid boys. Doesn't he know I'm not interested? _

She headed over to her bed, flopping down on the covers before opening the letter. Her breath caught when she saw it was from her sister. _What? How? _She began reading the letter, tearing up just slightly even though it was short in length. _I never thought she would even care. _Elsa knew she needed to respond. If they allowed Anna to send something, surely they'd let her send something back.

_Anna,_

_I miss you too. Know that I am doing just fine over here. I'm glad to hear that you are alright too. And yes, I do hope we can see each other in the near future. I'm sorry we couldn't grow up together like you wanted to, but know that I think about you a lot as well._

_Love, Elsa_

It was good for now. Not very descriptive. But then again, what eleven year old would understand that their older sister was being trained to control her magic? _Anna doesn't even remember I have them, _Elsa reminded herself.

Elsa wanted to promise Anna that she would come back for her, but she didn't know how far that promise would go. After all, she did promise before that she would never hurt her little sister, and look where that got her. She was shut away from the only person she truly loved, and now she would be separated again. She only knew how much longer it would be until they saw each other again. Elsa wished with all her heart she could promise her little sister they would get back to each other. Promise her everything would be alright. Promise Anna that she was okay. Promise her that she wasn't letting the distance get to her. Promise her that the monster inside her would never come out. But Elsa couldn't do any of this. And she hated herself for it.

**A/N: Thanks for all the follows on the story so far! Hope this chapter is good...the next one will be pretty long!**

**An FYI: I did quote Schindler's List in this chapter (When Aeron says "Power is when you have every justification to kill someone, and then you don't")**

**Hope you're all enjoying this as much as I am writing it (which is a lot!). Be sure to review and tell me what you think.**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	3. The Monster

Chapter 3 - The Monster

"_The fight inside is breaking me again." – Anonymous_

**Trigger warning: There is a mention of a suicide attempt in this chapter and hints at depression in the character of Elsa.**

**One year later (Elsa is fifteen, Anna is twelve)**

Elsa stood in the middle of the courtyard, dressed in black work pants and a plain white shirt with her platinum blonde hair tied back in a simple ponytail. The courtyard had certainly taken a beating through the last two years, but it would always be rebuilt. King Aeron saw to that. He saw to everything, now that Elsa thought about it. And she couldn't help the feelings inside her that drew her to the man. He had been like the father she never had.

_Father. _Just the thought of King Frederick... "Well, just Frederick now," she said to herself, a wicked grin creeping onto her face. She could feel the anger welling up in her, and her powers grew in her hands, shards of ice waiting for her command to be released.

"No," she said. "That's not why I'm here. They aren't worth my time anymore." Elsa closed her eyes for a brief moment, wiping away any thought or memory of her father. The ice vanished immediately, and she smiled to herself knowing she could finally control this curse. Of course, King Aeron always insisted it was a gift, but Elsa could never bring herself to believe him about that just yet. _How can I? After what happened to Anna because of it…_

She wondered if she would ever be able to forgive herself. She hated herself for it. Every day she spent locked in her room she tried to figure out a way to escape from her life…to escape from the guilt and regret that was destroying her.

Elsa rolled up the sleeves of her shirt, only to drown in the pain and guilt again as she fixed her eyes on the now faint scars on both of her wrists. She had tried to convince herself that it was all a terrible accident. That it wasn't her fault. _But if I never had these stupid powers in the first place then I wouldn't have hurt Anna, _she thought.

Elsa was fascinated with her powers at first. They weren't as strong when she was younger. Anna loved them too. She loved to play with Elsa in the snow she created, build snowmen, and have snowball fights (Elsa always won those). She let a small smile onto her face at the good memories.

But ever since that one night, Elsa had been filled with nothing but fear and disdain for her powers. Once she found out she had the capability to hurt someone with them – someone she loved no less – she wanted nothing to do with them. But they only grew stronger as she got older. And spending three years shut away from Anna took a toll on Elsa.

Being isolated from civilization only gave Elsa extra time to think about what she'd done to her sister, and allowed her to think about what else she could do as well. She realized she could potentially kill people with her powers. And that scared her more than anything.

So every single day for those three years, when she was alone at night, Elsa held a blade of razor sharp, jagged ice to her wrist, wondering if she could actually do it. Then, at least, she wouldn't be able to hurt anyone anymore. Especially Anna. _She's the only one I ever cared about. _But every time she mustered up the courage to go to swipe the blade of ice across her wrist, she would always be stopped by something. It wasn't much, but the sound of her sister sitting down against her door in the middle of the night made Elsa continue to live. It showed her that Anna still cared about her. That she still wanted her big sister.

Except one night… Elsa saw no other option. She always stopped herself from doing it. But that one night when Anna had come to her door Elsa completely broke down. She wasn't even sure why. She'd done this every night. Maybe it was the way Anna knocked that time. Maybe it was the way Anna reassured Elsa that she still loved her. Maybe it was the sadness in her voice when she said she wished she could have her big sister back. Or maybe it was knowing that she couldn't open the door for Anna and let her back in. Maybe it was knowing that their relationship would never be the same. It could have been any of those things. Elsa didn't know. But what she did know was that she couldn't go on like that. She couldn't give her sister false hope.

Elsa figured Anna had gone to get their parents when she heard her crying. Because Anna knew that when Elsa cried it was serious. Her older sister never showed anything the few times she saw her. So for Elsa to be, what Anna heard, sobbing uncontrollably meant something was terribly wrong. And Anna being the caring person she always was, she immediately went to get their parents.

Elsa wasn't sure if she could actually do it when she heard Anna and her parents outside her door, yelling to open it. Of course, she didn't. She didn't know how she made the decision, but in what seemed like a split second both of her wrists were sliced open by the blade of ice. To Elsa, it was a relief. But to Anna, it was pure terror. Watching her parents have to break down the door only to find Elsa bleeding out on her bedroom floor.

Her father had carried her to the castle doctor. Her mother tried to take Anna back to her room. However, Anna bolted into her sister's room, jumping into the older girl's bed, refusing to leave.

Elsa snapped out of her thoughts, and she winced slightly, almost as if she could feel the blade digging into her skin again. _What was I thinking? How could I be so selfish? Ending my own pain without considering Anna's. She would've suffered forever. _

For once in the last two years of Elsa's training, she was unaware of the shard of ice forming in her hand. The exact same blade that she almost killed herself with three years ago.

When Elsa looked down at her hands and saw the blade, she shut her eyes and flung the shard away. She opened her eyes again, and tried to clear her mind of the memory. She knew she had so much anger and guilt pent up inside her. And she could feel it welling up even more with each passing second.

She didn't need to be afraid of her powers all those years. She didn't need to be afraid of herself. If her parents had just let her have interactions with people, if they had taught her to control them instead of conceal them, then maybe she would've turned out a little bit better.

"You ruined everything for me," she said to her dead parents. She wasn't sure if she believed in an afterlife, or what people call Heaven, but she did believe that people had souls. That something was left behind when they died. _And if an afterlife does exist, _she thought, _I hope yours is eternal torture._ Her parents ruined her life. They took her away from Anna and the rest of Arendelle because of one mistake. They blamed her for Anna's injury and near death. They blamed her for not being able to control her powers. _You should blame yourselves. You did everything wrong with me. _

Elsa had dropped to her knees on the hard stone of the courtyard, and the ground began to freeze over. The wind picked up, and snow and hail blew fiercely around with it. Soon, short daggers of ice flew around as well.

"I hate you," she muttered as she stood up. She hurled a dagger of ice into the stone wall. "You ruined any chance I had." Her voice raised ever so slightly. "You," another dagger, "never," and another, "even deserved," now a spear of ice, "to live." Elsa's anger grew, and now hail the size of cannonballs were thrown into the wall, two of them breaking through the thick stone like it was a twig.

"I hate you!" she yelled as the wind grew stronger, ice and snow barreling into every wall, coating and chipping at the stone. The guilt of hurting her sister and the rejection from her parents refusing to help her properly was too much for Elsa to handle. She never really knew how broken she was until now.

With every wave of her hand, every flick of her wrist, bullets, spears, shards, and arrows of ice flew into the courtyard walls. With every step of her foot, ice grew on the ground, freezing anything on it as well. It moved over the walls eventually, crystallizing in different patterns.

As the storm she created continued to rage on, Elsa felt her hands begin to shake. She felt a tingling sensation flow through both of her arms. She figured she was just growing a little tired. This did take a lot of energy out of her. But this, no, it was something different. She never felt this before. It felt something like…a kind of electric current running through her. _This is something new, _she thought with a wicked smirk. She pictured her parents standing in front of her like she usually did now whenever she released her anger.

"If you were here, alive right now…I'd kill you myself." She closed her eyes for a brief moment, and when she opened them, they were such a light blue they almost looked white. Something like the color of…_ Lighting, _she told herself.

She felt the tingling in her arms become more intense, and sparks were showing in the palms of her hands. And when she thrust her arms forward at the visions of her parents, she was almost thrown off her feet at the force of her power. She took a few steps back to steady herself, and before she even knew what happened the tingling was gone and the storm around her calmed as her heartbeat slowed to a normal rate. Elsa wasn't sure how to react to sight of the courtyard wall, completely broken, stones scattered everywhere, with the edges of the gaping hole charred and blackened. _Did I just…? _

King Aeron saw it all from the window in his study. He knew she was powerful, but he had no idea she was _that _powerful. But he saw the bluish-white bolts shoot from her hands. It happened so fast, but nonetheless he still saw them. He wasn't sure how it was possible, but yes indeed, he had just seen Elsa conjure lightning. A dark look filtered into his eyes, and he smiled that same wicked smile Elsa had made just minutes ago.

* * *

"Kristoff, come on!" Anna shouted with excitement. It was Kristoff's fourteenth birthday, and Anna had the cooks of the castle make a cake for him. She was so excited she was practically bursting.

"I'm coming!" he said back. He was grateful Anna had gone to so much trouble for his birthday, but he was really exhausted, and eventually he rode on Sven's back the rest of the way to the castle.

He watched his closest friend run in front of him with a smile. Anna, as clumsy and aloof as she was sometimes, was the nicest, most compassionate person he had ever met. They met only last year, when he had fallen of Sven, his reindeer, and scraped up his leg pretty badly. Anna was out with what Kristoff presumed a guard from the castle, and she had come over immediately with water and towels to help clean up his leg. He admired her inclination to help others even if she never met them before.

Kristoff knew from that moment that Anna was a special person. He couldn't even think of the word to describe how amazing she was. He knew she missed her parents and sister, but he also knew how brave she was to go on with her life. Most people he knew shut themselves away when their loved ones passed. But Anna, no, she went on no matter how hard it might have been sometimes.

"I'm so excited for you!" Anna squealed, bringing Kristoff out of his thoughts.

She led him into the dining hall, where an extensive dinner full of all kinds of meats and vegetables had been laid out, with pastries and cupcakes at the end of the table for desert. Kristoff gazed at the food in awe, and he couldn't help himself when he picked Anna up in a tight hug.

"This is too much, Anna. You didn't have to do this."

"Oh please! For my best friend, I'd do anything."

Anna knew Kristoff had a huge appetite and could probably eat for days on end if there was no one to stop him, so she made sure the cooks brought out large portions of everything. She had also invited a few of Kristoff's other friends to dinner, and she expected they would be arriving shortly.

Before she even sat down, Kristoff had jumped into his seat and began filling his plate with chicken, steak, fish…well, just about everything. Anna let out a small laugh at the sight of it. Sven took a seat on the floor next to Kristoff's chair and looked at him expectantly, waiting for a chicken leg or anything for that matter.

The door to the dining hall burst open as Kristoff's friends, Markus, Rocco, Andrew, and James came running in.

"Anna! You invited them!" Kristoff let out in surprise.

The smile on his face said it all to Anna. But she couldn't help but feel a pang of emptiness in her chest. No matter how many activities she did with Kristoff, no matter how many adventures in the forest they went on, she longed for her sister. Anna hoped she would get to see Elsa at some point, maybe at a ball or something. Anyone and everyone came to those. All the countries, all the kings and queens…everyone. But there had been nothing ever since Elsa was taken.

One of the twelve brothers of the Southern Isles, Darce, had taken the spot on the throne. The people of Arendelle suffered under his rule. He had cruel and extreme punishments to anyone who disobeyed the law. It usually was public torture, like a whipping or a beating. And if the case was so severe, he often held public executions. Soon enough, the people were too scared to try anything. Anna, however, was never subject to harm living in the same castle with him. He gave her everything she wanted, which is how she managed to set up this birthday for Kristoff.

She was sure King Aeron didn't know about how King Darce was ruling. For some reason, Aeron seemed like the kind of person who killed senselessly while trying to get what he wants, but once he had it, he doesn't kill unless necessary. Or maybe she was just getting false perceptions of him from Elsa's letters. She described him as extremely kind and giving…once you get past the fact that he's most definitely a sociopath. Maybe King Aeron did give orders to have a harsh rule over Arendelle. She would never know of course, until she saw Elsa herself.

But she wished Elsa could've been here to see this, to see the good things Anna was doing. She wished Elsa could see her grow up, and then they could have a life together. Anna wished a lot of things…things she knew would probably never come true. But Elsa would've been proud of her if she could see her now…Anna knew it.

* * *

"Aeron, what happened out there?" Elsa asked. "That's never happened before." Her voice wasn't shaky or scared. It sounded more like acceptance for this discovery, and curiosity as to how it came about.

"I really don't know. I was shocked myself, but also amazed."

"I want to do it again," she said with a smirk.

"And you will soon enough. I'm guessing that since this is the first time it's happened, it's only when your anger is built up to extreme measures," Aeron replied.

"I don't want that though. It takes too much to get to that point," Elsa said. "I want to do it whenever I want. Do you know what I could do with that? People wouldn't even try to fight us if they knew I could summon lightning from my fingertips."

"Then that will be our goal. We'll focus on it. I would imagine this will take some practice and concentration on your part though. I don't think I can help you with this."

"It's okay. I'll figure it out," she responded, signaling the end of the conversation.

"Dinner in two hours," King Aeron called after her.

"I'll be there."

* * *

Elsa usually liked having dinner with Aeron, but of course, Silas and Gareth had to be there. She couldn't concentrate on a word Aeron was saying with Silas looking at her like a lovesick puppy the whole time, although she knew it had something to do with her training.

"Silas, I could use some help with checking my traps and snares for game," Gareth said, kicking his younger brother under the table as he noticed Elsa's discomfort.

Elsa mouthed 'thank you' to the man as he basically dragged his sixteen year old brother away. She couldn't help but smile a little at the sight, remembering how she would playfully drag Anna around the castle with her like that. Elsa felt her heart ache at the thought of her sister. _She'd be twelve now, right? _

"Elsa, are you alright?" King Aeron asked.

"I don't think so…" she said weakly.

"It's your sister isn't it?"

"Yes. Aeron, I miss her terribly. Are you sure there's no way I can see her? Even if it's just one day. We've been separated for five years now."

"I'm sorry Elsa, but now is not a safe time for travel. I was planning on telling you in a few days, but now that you brought it up I might as well just do it now." He cleared his throat before continuing. "There have been uprisings in Corona. I thought Audi and Jaxith could handle them, but apparently I thought wrong. It's been so violent over there."

Elsa wasn't necessarily worried about Audi. He was more or less a complete idiot, never listening to anyone and doing everything his way. She cared for Jaxith though. She was wrong to make assumptions that they were all manipulative assholes. He happened to be the kindest and most thoughtful of the brothers. He was only twenty three, but extremely mature and composed. He always looked for a way to help someone out. He reminded her of Anna in so many ways.

"…which is why we are going there next week."

"Wait, what?" Elsa got out.

"I would leave now, but we are not ready. The violence in Corona is growing with each passing hour, and it needs to be stopped. I need you right now Elsa."

"Oh trust me, they won't ever think of turning against the Southern Isles ever again once I'm finished with them." Elsa felt her heart rate quicken with excitement at the thought. She'd finally be able to use her powers against something…against people, and she was someone shocked to find that she was looking forward to it.

* * *

**One week later**

Elsa could see the smoke of the fires burning in Corona from miles away. She felt a pang of worry course through her. She hoped Jaxith was okay. He and Aeron had been her only source of comfort these last couple years. She needed him more than she thought.

Things had escalated so quickly in the last week. The people of Corona had gone from small outbursts to full out war. There were only so many soldiers from the Southern Isles, so it was apparent that the people were winning and gradually retaking the throne. But as long as Elsa was there, that wouldn't happen.

She was nearly bouncing with excitement as their boat docked. King Aeron brought two other boats filled with soldiers along with him for support just in case. But Elsa knew they wouldn't be necessary. The flags that blew in the wind on Corona's dock signaled war. They showed that they weren't giving up without a fight.

At the sight of King Aeron and Elsa stepping onto the dock, five soldiers from Corona rushed towards them. Aeron was in his full armor, and Elsa had made her own out of ice. She had never made black ice before, but as she was crafting the armor she felt something change within her. Maybe it was the anticipation of fighting. Maybe it was knowing she could stop a war. Or maybe it was just the pure rush of – she couldn't quite find the word for it – happiness? Excitement? She didn't know. But for some reason she just couldn't wait to use her powers and well…kill. And she stood there, clad in her black armor, intricate details and designs carved into it, not even the least bit afraid of the soldiers with swords and spears charging towards them.

King Aeron looked at her expectantly, knowing what she was capable of. He had waited two years for this. And although he must admit he was hoping anything like this would've happened when Elsa was seventeen or eighteen, when her powers would surely be more mature and deadly, he was still overflowing with joy. Hell, he saw Elsa summon lightning last week! She was excelling quickly.

The soldiers drew closer. They didn't know about Elsa, but they'd soon find out. Elsa, not even giving a second thought to what she was doing, calmly circled her hands around each other. She held a dagger of ice in her left hand, and with the right she made two mini icebergs, sharpened at the points of course, shoot up from the water below the dock. They pierced through two of the soldiers, slicing through their entire bodies like nothing, impaling them. The remaining three stopped dead in their tracks…literally. In the blink of an eye, Elsa summoned two more daggers of ice and hurled them at the soldiers at the speed of a bullet. They all hit her targets directly in their hearts. After all, Elsa practiced her accuracy for nearly a whole year. She never missed now.

"That was too easy. Let's go," she told an awestruck King Aeron. He shook his head a little to jog himself out of his daze before following after the princess.

Elsa looked up at the icebergs with the soldiers pierced on top of the points, their blood dripping down the sides of the ice, staining it red. Torn flesh and cracked bone stuck out of their bodies at all different angles, and Elsa almost winced at the thought of how painful that must have been for them.

Almost…

She stepped over the bodies of the other soldiers lying on the dock, a dagger of ice sticking out of each of their chests. She hit one of them so hard the dagger went right through him, leaving a gaping hole in his chest. The dock was stained with the deep red of blood, and it eventually dripped off the sides and into the water of the fjord. Elsa looked at her hands which had been responsible for this, and two years ago she would've looked at them in pure horror and resentment… But now, as she took one last glance around her before lowering her gaze to her hands again, she didn't feel that same self-hate anymore. Instead, her eyes darkened to the deepest shade of blue, and her hair seemed to take on a darker blonde unlike her natural platinum color. And as Elsa began walking away from the dead soldiers, the now usual wicked smile of hers found its way onto her face.

* * *

**A/N: So if you didn't pick up from the last paragraph there, I'm going to turn this into a sort of Dark!Elsa kind of fic. Also, I'm adding my own element to show my love for psychology... get ready for Sociopath!Elsa. Seriously, it's scary how well I can write a character into a sociopath role.**

**And for those of you wondering how it's possible for Elsa to control lightning: I know it's caused by thunder, but lighting is air and water molecules rubbing together at such high speeds to form a buildup of an electric charge. So yes, in the case of Elsa's powers, it is completely possible.**

**Happy reading! Comment on the story and be sure to tell me what you think...constructive criticism is always helpful too!**

**- Red**


	4. Need You Now

**A/N: Hope you guys are enjoying reading as much as I am writing! I highly recommend reading my other note at the end of this chapter... I explain a really important thing. Happy reading!**

Chapter 4 - Need You Now

"…_But Evil is a completely different creature, Evil is bad that believes it's good." – Karen Marie Moning _

Elsa felt her power surge through her with every soldier that came at her, every civilian that tried to stop her. Blood was splattered all over her armor from her victims, barely any of the black ice was visible now as the blood was drying, making it appear as if her armor had been painted red all along. _I'll need to clean it off when we're finished with this place, _she reminded herself.

Aeron was fighting ahead of her, easily offing his enemies, two, three, sometimes four at a time. Elsa envied his sword fighting skills. _I'll have to ask him for lessons when we get back, _she told herself as she sent two spears of ice careening through a man's chest, hitting him with so much force they took him back against a wall. _I wonder if I can send a spear all the way through someone._

She glanced ahead of her to Aeron again. A man was running towards him wielding a pitchfork. _Really, _Elsa thought. She could hear the sarcasm dripping in the thought even if she hadn't said it out loud. Some of these people almost made her laugh. Fighting without armor, using trivial things as weapons…it seemed like a game to Elsa.

Without thinking, she conjured another spear of ice, making it extremely slender and smooth, unlike her other ones which tended to be wider with many jagged edges. She put all her strength into it as she hurled it at the man running towards her father. _Wait…what? _But she didn't focus on that, and instead watched as the spear pierced the man's heart. What was now becoming her usual wicked grin came onto her face as she watched the ice travel all the way through his body, most likely taking a chunk of his heart with it as it fell out of him on the other side. What used to be a clear blue shade of ice was now completely red with blood.

"Ouch," Elsa said, walking next to King Aeron, her voice filled with mock pain and innocence.

He let out a bark of a laugh before replying. "We need to get to Jaxith and Audi. They should be safe in the castle considering the doors are shut."

They battled through countless numbers of soldiers and civilians, men, women, and children who couldn't have been that much older than Elsa. When they weren't being attacked in groups, Elsa and King Aeron took to having some fun with their victims. One soldier: Elsa had frozen his feet to the ground before unfreezing him, only to freeze his feet again. _Ah, hope…one of the most powerful weapons. Especially when it's fake. _She had done this to him about five times before finally tiring of the game and killing him with his own sword.

She didn't care though. After all, these people were being ruled by the Southern Isles now. They should know better than to try and revolt.

Soon enough, they were at the castle gates. Thankfully, most of the fighting was taking place along the docks and in the village streets. The castle was relatively absent of soldiers, and the ones that were there belonged to the Southern Isles. They bowed at King Aeron and Elsa's arrival before opening the gates for them. Once inside, Elsa shed her armor, not caring about handling it with all the blood.

"Are you okay?" Aeron asked.

"Of course," Elsa said smiling.

"Aeron! Elsa!" Jaxith called from the top of a staircase. He came rushing down the stairs and immediately swept Elsa up in a tight hug. It had been nearly a year and a half since they last saw each other, and Elsa couldn't help but imagine it was Anna she was holding had been so long since she actually had any physical contact, and she didn't really know what to make of it. "The whole country is in turmoil. Thank God you showed up when you did. We weren't sure how long we could hold them off."

"Don't worry brother," Aeron answered. "They'll be taken care of quite quickly now."

The trio smiled at each other. Jaxith knew about Elsa, but he didn't know how much her powers had grown or what she was capable of.

"Jax, would you mind helping me clean off my armor?" Elsa asked.

"Of course. Aeron, I'm assuming you'll take military command now. It seems like your reinforcements are all the help we need."

A few servants brought Elsa's bloodstained armor into the kitchen area, and Jaxith busied himself for a moment as he wet a towel and began wiping the blood off.

"How many people did you kill?" he asked, fixating his bright green eyes on her.

"Not sure," Elsa answered, taking to scrubbing the dried blood off her breastplate. "Hundreds probably. I kind of do this thing where I let out shards of ice in every direction and not worry about how many they hit." He smirked at her, and wasn't sure if Elsa noticed her hair darkening in color with each passing second.

"Elsa…your hair," he said, setting down the piece of armor. "Last time I saw you it was blonde."

Elsa swung her ponytail over her shoulder just as the last of platinum blonde disappeared from her long locks. _Is this even possible? _She wasn't sure if it was a good thing, but for a start: She looked good with black hair.

"Well…" she began, "Does it at least look decent?"

"Yeah…actually," Jaxith replied. "You look beautiful as always." There he went again, always being kind...and always reminding her of Anna.

"Elsa!" King Aeron shouted. "Hurry. A group of about a hundred or so managed to break through into the castle. They have Audi!"

Personally, Elsa could care less whether Audi lived or died. But, she needed to stand by Jaxith and Aeron. And more importantly, she needed to stop an uprising.

The three of them rushed towards the front of the castle where exactly one hundred and thirty soldiers and civilians stood waiting with Audi tied against a post. He knew they would do something terrible. Stone him, behead him…maybe they'd burn him at the stake. Whatever they were planning, he knew it wasn't good.

"What do you think you're doing?" he heard Elsa's smooth voice say from behind him.

"Elsa…please. Just let them do it!" Audi cried. _Ugh, what a coward, _Elsa thought. _Always giving up without a fight. No wonder Aeron sent Jaxith over here so quickly._

"You don't get to talk!" one of the Corona soldiers snarled, punching Audi square in the face. Elsa couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard a cracking sound that was probably Audi's nose breaking.

"No…_you _don't get to talk," Elsa shot at the soldier. And before he could protest a shard of jagged ice was protruding from his chest. Then, five civilians and five soldiers rushed at Audi, spears about to pierce through the helpless man. But before they could get within five feet of him, Elsa waved her hand in front of her, sprouting icicles from the ground around Audi to protect him. Some unlucky people were close enough to him that they ended up getting impaled by the fast rising ice. Elsa paid no mind to it as their bodies sat limp on the tops of the icicles.

"Now," Elsa began, walking towards the mass of people standing before her. They were too shocked and scared to try anything else. "Do any of you want to end up like these…unlucky souls?"

"Elsa, you don't have any armor," King Aeron said quietly as he came up behind her. When she took her armor off, it left her in black pants and a plain white t-shirt. But Elsa wasn't worried. These people couldn't do anything to her.

"I don't need it," she answered before turning to the civilians again. "Well?" she asked expectantly.

"Your Majesty - ," one man began, only to be cut off by a rising icicle to his throat. Elsa made sure it stopped just as it was about to pierce through his neck, and by the angle it was rising at she also figured it would pass through his head.

"Did I give you permission to speak?" He looked deathly afraid. "Now, I'm going to give you all to the count of three to get the fuck out of here. And if you don't comply, I won't hesitate to obliterate every single one of you. Oh but don't worry, I wouldn't kill you all at once. I'd make you all watch…one by one as I rip your friends, family, children, parents, from your lives and there will be nothing you can do about it."

She noticed one of the soldiers with a smug look on his face, and this instantly angered her. So, seeing it as the perfect opportunity, she froze over his feet, catching him off guard.

"Do you think this is funny?" she asked, returning the same smug look. Her eyes hardened at the soldier, and instead of a dark blue, they turned into the lightest shade of blue possible.

"You wouldn't," he replied.

"Watch me." He went to load an arrow into his bow, but Elsa shot both things out of his arms with a flick of her wrists. One of the pellets of ice skimmed his arm, and he yelped in pain. Elsa only grinned at his reaction as it only pushed her even further. She froze both his legs, and then his arms. She walked over to him, the crowd of people parting for her, too scared to do anything about it. They all knew now that anyone who went at Elsa surely died.

Elsa summoned a sword of deep blue ice in her hand, making sure the blade had small ridges and edges along it. She traced the point around the man's heart, and he gulped in response.

"Taking me seriously now are you?" she asked.

"Please…I have a family," he begged. Elsa was instantly angered at his pleads for pity. But she took a few deep breaths before composing herself enough so she wouldn't drive the sword into his chest just yet.

"Oh…I'm not going to kill you." The man let out a sigh of relief. "…Yet. I'll leave you here for as long as I want. And, oh I don't know…maybe tomorrow I'll have some fun with you. Now again, I'll count to three and I want to see every single one of you vermin out of here."

Many people began backing away immediately as Elsa shouted the first number.

"Two!" She was already freezing the ground over, and now the people and soldiers were running for their lives…because in all seriousness, they were.

Elsa looked around the area, smirking at the sight. These people were idiots if they thought they could really defeat her. And if anyone tried anything…well, they'd be in for a very unfortunate end. _I need to come up with more than a hundred ways I could kill someone if I'm to keep my word, _she thought. She smiled to herself at the idea.

She took another glance around, ready to shout the last number and ready to end the lives of any poor soul who thought they were brave enough to stand up to her, when her eyes locked on a girl who looked her age…maybe a year older. Elsa would have shouted a 'three' if it weren't for the way the girl was staring at her. She couldn't decipher the emotion in her eyes.

Elsa strode over to the girl, and was immediately lost in her eyes. The most beautiful shade of brown she'd ever seen, and when the sun glinted off of them they appeared gold. Elsa did a once over of the girl: wavy brown hair, high cheekbones, full jawline, pink, full lips, slim, athletic build, oh…and her eyes. _God, her eyes, _Elsa thought. She felt as if she could melt in the warm gaze of the girl.

In a split second Elsa decided she wanted this girl, even if it was only for one night. And Elsa always got what she wanted.

"You," Elsa breathed into the girl's ear, sending shivers down her spine, "are coming with me."

* * *

"Elsa…nnngh…Fuck!"

Elsa felt nails raking down her back as a scream of pure ecstasy came from the girl beneath her. _That's gonna leave a mark, _she thought, smiling at the thought of having a reminder of this night for a while. She could also feel the aches of sure bruises forming where the girl had bit down into her shoulders to stifle her screams of pleasure. Elsa gently captured the girls' lips with her own, swallowing the sound of a soft moan as she removed her fingers from the girl's throbbing center.

"God…Elsa," the girl got out, still breathing heavily as she came down from her climax.

"You never told me your name," Elsa answered.

"Does it even matter to you?"

"Kind of. I like to know who I'm sleeping with," Elsa said with a lopsided grin.

"You're adorable," the girl replied.

"And you're still nameless to me."

"Belle."

"Belle," Elsa repeated. "French?"

"Hmmmm, I wonder how you know that," Belle answered sarcastically. Elsa smiled back as she fell onto the bed next to her.

"_Vous êtes très belle__," _Elsa whispered into her ear.

"Glad you know the meaning of it," Belle said sheepishly. "You speak fluent?"

"I'm learning."

"I could teach you."

"Mmm…I'm sure you could," Elsa mumbled against Belle's lips. Elsa felt arms wrap around her shoulders, and in turn she put her own around Belle's waist. Belle kissed her a little more aggressively, tracing her tongue along her bottom lip, asking for entry. "I think you should wait a little before round two," Elsa said, smiling into the kiss.

* * *

"Elsa, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she replied. Elsa was in sort of a daze at the moment, so she wasn't sure how well she would be able to focus on whatever Belle was going to ask her. She promised Belle she wouldn't leave in the morning or kick her out. No, Elsa didn't do that…

"Was that your first time? I never even asked or made sure before…we just kind of went with it," Belle got out.

Elsa met Belle's deep brown eyes for a small moment before glancing away, her own icy blue orbs eventually falling on the black bangs that covered her face. She didn't know how to answer this question, quite frankly, because she didn't know how. If she answered yes, she only hoped Belle wouldn't push her with any more questions. If she did, then she'd be in trouble. _Well, I can't just lie to her. Or actually..._ Elsa inhaled deeply before making up her mind.

"Yeah," she said with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "What about you?"

"Yeah," Belle answered, letting out a sigh. "Do you regret it?"

"Would I still be lying next to you if I did?" Elsa said back, brushing her lips over Belle's cheek. Even if this ended up being a one night stand, Elsa couldn't help but think back to her past few experiences in bed, and she eventually decided that this was the best out of them all… _For now, _she thought, knowing that she'd have plenty more times to come.

Elsa was somewhat shocked that she didn't feel guilty about lying to Belle about something like this though. _Isn't sex supposed to be like, a big deal or something? _Elsa thought. If it was, then she certainly wasn't treating it in such a way. Yes, she was only fifteen but she'd lost her virginity only a couple weeks after she turned fourteen. Being a princess, and, dare she say it herself, an extremely attractive fourteen year old who looked like she was really seventeen, it wasn't hard for her to get someone into bed with her. Only girls of course. It wasn't such a huge secret around the castle back in the Southern Isles. But to the common people it would always have to stay hidden. _And yet, stupid Silas is still infatuated with me. _She internally groaned.

"Elsa, I need to go," Belle said once she realized it was nearly eleven in the morning. "My father needs me for work at noon."

"What do you do?" Elsa asked, sitting up to stretch, sighing contently when she felt some of her joints pop out of their stiffness.

"Blacksmith," she answered. "I work almost all day."

"Mmm, I see." Elsa took in the sleek, toned build of Belle's body, watching her biceps flex as she pulled her work pants up, her shoulder muscles contracting as she threw her shirt over her head.

"Will I see you again?" Belle asked.

"I can't imagine we'll be staying here for much longer. I'm pretty sure I made it clear to everyone not to mess with me," she answered nonchalantly. "So unless you come to the Southern Isles for a ball or I come here again for the same reason…I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Elsa saw a flash a hurt run through Belle's eyes, but she didn't feel anything herself. No guilt, no regret…nothing. "I'll make it a point to go to a ball then." She smiled warmly at Elsa, who only gave a half-hearted one in return.

* * *

Kristoff stopped outside of Anna's door when he heard muffled cries coming from her room.

"Anna, are you okay?" he asked, pushing her door open.

"Kristoff…" Anna got out before a sob overcame her voice.

He immediately rushed over to the redhead and took her in his arms. Anna accepted the comfort, resting her head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Kristoff asked.

"I miss her so much. Kristoff you have no idea." Anna stifled her cries for a moment so she could continue. "We've been separated for three years now…well, basically five if you count the years she was shut away from me. I need her Kristoff. She helps me more than she knows."

"Well, maybe the Southern Isles will host a ball soon enough," he replied. "I mean, considering they overtook so many countries already, and – not to sound mean – Arendelle is the only country that has had the king and queen killed. The other rulers are still alive, probably being held captive. But still, they need to make agreements and arrangements with them. They need to make governmental decisions with these people."

"I hope so. But the Southern Isles seems like the country to visit the others personally now. There would be too much of a risk to the king's life if they invited other countries to their own."

Kristoff knew Anna was only putting herself down. She had given up hope. He couldn't imagine how lonely she must feel, so he could only try his best to be there for her when she needed him most. But he himself hadn't given up his hope yet. He had the feeling Anna and Elsa would be reunited at some point. Although he always wished it would happen sooner rather than later.

He didn't know what it was like to miss a loved one. He was separated from his parents when he was younger, but he wasn't scared to be on his own. And he would admit: He didn't miss his parents either. He could find food with help from Sven, and the reindeer had also kept him warm. They had been on their own for almost half a year until they stumbled upon the trolls. They had taken them in, and Kristoff hadn't complained. They were certainly better than his previous family, who barely even recognized he was there most of the time.

The trolls taught him everything he needed to know about life: Growing up, kindness, compassion, knowledge…and the most important to Kristoff, love. Because of the trolls – especially Grand Pabbie – Kristoff could always tell when someone was hurting. And even though he might not know how to comfort them all the time, Kristoff would just be their shoulder to cry on, or a friend to vent to, even if it was only for the moment.

"Anna, don't get yourself down about this. I'm sure you'll see Elsa soon enough. Maybe it will take a few more years, but I know you'll get back to her. And if you don't get to her first, then she will," Kristoff said softly.

"I just need her," Anna said, getting choked up by her tears again. "I just need her," she said again, so quietly Kristoff barely heard her.

* * *

**Two weeks after the uprising in Corona**

King Aeron smiled to himself as he watched Elsa from his study window. She didn't train her powers as often now, as she focused more on her physical strength. He thought it was a good idea. Changing it up a little would only benefit her. After all, more physical strength and endurance meant her powers would soon become the strongest they'd ever been…and ever will be. Soon, she'd be able to fight for longer durations, which would only work to her advantage in the long run.

He didn't think this would be as easy as it had been. But then again, she was only thirteen when he put the idea into her mind that her parents never loved her. Actually, it wasn't so much an idea…more like a fact. He recognized that all Elsa wanted was to see her sister, but her parents wouldn't let that happen. They thought it was her fault that Anna was injured. But it really wasn't. Elsa had merely slipped. But this was something she'd never forgive herself for.

Aeron had let Elsa vent to him about it a few months after he brought her over to the Southern Isles with him. He had listened to her, comforted her when she started to break down, and helped her pick herself back up on her feet. But no matter how much Elsa shut others out, no matter how much she occupied her time by training, she would always be broken by this; by her forced isolation from the world.

He could relate to her in a way. The feeling of emptiness, rejection, and being unloved was all too familiar to Aeron. Emotional toughness and stability was something he had learned to be vital to his survival, and he made a mental note that that would be something he _needed _to work on with Elsa. Yes, she might be strong with her powers. Yes, she might be strong physically. But if she wasn't strong mentally…she was already on her way to another breakdown.

He knew that Elsa was suffering. He also knew that she needed to see Anna. And he wanted desperately to be able to grant her this wish. But with the tension in Corona and Weselton, the risk for an assassination attempt on his life – or on Elsa's life – was too high. He needed to wait a few more years until the people of the conquered countries knew that rebelling wouldn't get them anywhere…not with Elsa behind him.

* * *

When Elsa had finished training, she trudged back to her room, nearly falling onto the floor in exhaustion. She had done endurance exercises with Silas, and although she thought she would hate spending time with the boy, she found herself enjoying his company. He was somewhat getting over the fact that she wasn't interested in anything more than friends with him, and they managed to turn their reps of sprinting into competitions. It was fun, but absolutely exhausting.

She plopped down into her desk chair, planning to write Anna again. She had not heard from her sister for a couple weeks. _Probably because you never wrote her first, you idiotic fuck, _she told herself. She glanced up at her reflection in the mirror that hung above her desk, and studied her features closely as she thought of what to write.

Her face itself hadn't changed so much, except for her jawline becoming more defined as she matured. But her eyes were always changing colors. One day they'd be her natural, sky blue color, then they'd be the darkest of navy, and then they'd be the lightest of icy blues they almost looked white.

Her hair also changed. Although now it was almost always jet black, sometimes it would seem to lighten as if it was reverting back to her natural platinum blonde color. She couldn't pinpoint when exactly this had happened, but she was sure it had been when she felt something remotely related to a certain emotion. A feeling that made her heart flutter and beat more quickly in her chest. An emotion she only felt now when she thought of Anna.

Even now, as she thought of what to put in her letter to her sister, she noticed the tips of her bangs fading into the white blonde of her natural hair. But it stopped there. Elsa always wondered why this happened, and why it only happened when Anna entered her mind. She rarely felt anything anymore. No emotions. No feelings. There was just…nothing.

Elsa had nearly stopped feeling altogether at this point. Even when she was in bed with Belle, she hadn't felt any intense emotions run through her no matter how high her pleasure was. When she laughed it was half-heartedly on her part, although it sounded natural all the while. When she smiled it never reached her eyes, although she was good at making it look genuine. And when she murdered someone she moved on to the next victim and thought nothing of it.

The last part would have frightened her more than anything. It would've brought back that self-loathing she had for those years after she hurt Anna. Correction: The self-loathing she _still _has after she hurt Anna. But she honestly couldn't bring herself to care about who she killed or hurt. Anna was the only person that mattered in her life. That _truly _mattered. She would have included Aeron or Jaxith but they were still Arendelle's enemies seeing that they were from the Southern Isles. And she'd always remain loyal to her country.

But these other countries she had no relationship with…she could care less. She felt nothing when she killed. No remorse or regret burned in her heart or conscience. Hell, she didn't even think she had a conscience.

Whenever someone cried over the dead body of their loved one it actually angered Elsa. And she'd only end their life to shut them up. She didn't care about others' feelings. If someone told her one of their family members had died because of her, she would say she was sorry for their loss, but she never meant any of it. Her words were filled with nothing but the same emptiness she felt in her heart.

But for some reason, whenever she thought of Anna, all the emotions and feelings she could never bring herself to produce anymore coursed through her. She was sure she'd never figure out why either.

Elsa shrugged all the thoughts and questions from her mind for the moment, and only concentrated on her letter to Anna.

_Anna,_

Her mind went blank, and she forgot everything she had planned to write in the letter in a split second. She couldn't recall anything she wanted to say, so she resorted to the first thing that came to her mind and ultimately what she wanted Anna to always remember.

_I love you._

* * *

**A/N: I tried my best with the French okay... Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know...not a lot of action but TONS of character explanations and development on Elsa's part. I kept some of the descriptions simple, but hopefully you'll catch on. **

**The traits I describe with Elsa "feeling nothing" and "not having any remorse" are directly related to the traits found in sociopaths and psychopaths. In this fic, I'm going for more of the Sociopath!Elsa here (although many sociopaths are psychopaths and vice versa - there are many dual diagnosis with this).**

**There are many differences between a sociopath and a psychopath however, and I am too lazy to list them all, although there are probably more similarities between the two.**

**I am using all my knowledge of psychology with this here (my mom is a psychologist and by the looks of it, I'm spot on with the Sociopath!Elsa character).**

**Throughout these next few chapters ****- yes, a time span will most definitely pass - I'll dive deeper into how Elsa came to be this way. It's very complex, and I am not up to explaining it all right now, so I'll do so over the next few chapters. **_  
_

**I always imagined a Sociopath!Elsa whenever I saw Dark!Elsa fan art and whatnot!**

**So please bear with me, as developing a character as complex as Elsa in this fic (especially as a sociopath) can be very difficult sometimes. And don't worry, forming a relationship and romance between Elsa and Anna will be equally as challenging. So I'm preparing you in advance for a lot of angst and sexual tension ;)**

**Be sure to tell me what you think of the story. Constructive criticism is always accepted! I'm really loving writing this fic...it's extremely interesting to develop a sociopath character. And thanks to all of you who read this long author's note :)**

**Happy reading!  
**

**- Red**


	5. We'll Never Be Royals

**A/N: ****A lot of stuff happens in this chapter dealing with Elsa's character. Happy reading!**

**Oh, and a bit of a sex scene at the end of the chapter ;)**

Chapter 5 - We'll Never Be Royals

"_Even though we are going to shatter thousands of lives, wearing white is gonna make the blood look so pretty." – Ladd Russo_

**One year later (Elsa is sixteen, Anna is thirteen)**

Elsa was pacing in her room. She wasn't sure how much more she could handle…not seeing Anna for so long was crushing her. She'd constantly ask Aeron if there were any way she could see her sister, but he had always said no. There was still so much tension between Weselton and the Southern Isles. Corona had more or less been taken care of, as the people there now knew that if they tried to overthrow Audi and Jaxith again they'd have to suffer the consequences by Elsa's hands.

But Weselton was throwing everything off. _If they would only stop fighting, _Elsa thought, _then I can travel to Arendelle. _But she knew that wouldn't happen anytime soon. Not with how Aeron was approaching things. He decided to be peaceful for once, considering Weselton was a close partner in trade. It wasn't doing anything though. No matter how much he negotiated or pleaded, the country was only growing worse. And knowing it was only a three days sail away, Elsa was preparing herself again.

She had been training nonstop for the last year, mostly building her strength and endurance but also raising the destructiveness of her powers. Now she could summon powerful blizzards with the snap of her fingers. _But the best, _she thought as she sent a small zap of electricity across her room: She could conjure lightning without exhausting herself.

However, Elsa didn't always want to think about going off to another country to exert her power over the people there and sleep around with girls she'd never see again and kill people she didn't care about, which is why she began gradually shutting herself out over the last year. She rarely left the castle, unless of course they were going to battle or unless she needed someone to keep her company for the night. She ate her meals alone in her room. She didn't train with Silas anymore. She rarely spoke to Aeron. But worse, she had stopped writing to Anna. The last part sent a wave of guilt through Elsa, and the girl was so shocked she could feel anything remotely related to an intense emotion she clutched at her chest, heaving deep breaths to try and overcome the sensation. _Why am I so surprised? Anna is the only one who can make me feel anything._

But she couldn't get rid of the guilt because she still communicated with Belle. It gave Elsa a little comfort, knowing there was someone out there who cared about her, because she was never sure if Anna even thought about her at all now. She often wrote to Belle about this, sharing her concerns and fears about what it would be like to see her younger sister again. Of course, Belle couldn't really give her any support there except tell her that it would be fine and that she was positive Anna wanted her back just as much as Elsa did.

Elsa had stopped pacing and was now standing in front of her mirror. Every single day she would examine herself and wonder how she got this way. This wasn't the Elsa she was three years ago. No, three years ago she was an innocent girl who was afraid of her powers and hurting anyone who came near her. Three years ago she was an emotionally unstable girl who had thought about killing herself ever since the day she hurt her sister.

But now…now she was something else entirely. Elsa knew she'd never quite figure out how this happened, but something had snapped in her when Aeron had told her that her parents never really loved her. That they were giving in to their own fear and needs instead of seeing to her first…seeing that she got better. Yes, something had definitely snapped. Her black hair, her changing eye colors, her emotionless expressions, her lack of regret and guilt when she killed someone, her craving to make people kneel before her… No, she was most definitely not the same Elsa she was three years ago. Now she was something... _What's the word for it? Wicked? No. _

Now, Elsa was something more…dark.

* * *

"Kristoff! Why won't she respond?" Anna was on the border of sadness and anger at her sister, and by the looks of it Kristoff could see she was leaning more towards anger.

"Maybe she's busy," he gave back weakly.

"Doing what? What could she possibly be doing that's more important than responding to my letters?" Yup, she was definitely angry. "I wrote her three times in the last month and she hasn't replied to any of them! She knows how much I miss her! She knows how much I want to see her! The least she could do is send back one stupid letter to show me she cares!"

"It's okay Anna. She cares about you."

"You haven't even met her. What if I don't even…don't even remember what she looks like? What if she changed? What if we don't get along like we used to?"

"Okay, calm down. You're getting way ahead of yourself now," Kristoff said. "Look, the good news is that Corona has settled down now. The bad news is that Weselton is heating up, so it doesn't look like there will be any diplomatic ball anytime soon."

"Why would Arendelle need to attend one of those?" she asked. "Our king and queen are dead, which means - ,"

"Which means you should be the princess, and King Aeron hasn't ordered them to deny you that yet. Or better, he might just invite you simply because you're Elsa's sister."

Anna was thrilled at the idea. Although, with Weselton being in the state it's in right now, she wasn't seeing Elsa anytime soon. She just hoped they could be close again and go back to the way they were before… _Well before all this shit happened, _she told herself. She was sure Elsa was growing into a beautiful young woman…kind and mature too. Anna had always admired Elsa for this. She was always calm and composed, even though Anna knew there was a strong and difficult battle going on inside her. She always thought Elsa had good control over her powers, so she never understood why their parents had kept them apart for so long.

"I just love her so much," Anna said softly. She was calming down from her angry outburst now, but the hurt still remained in her teal blue eyes. "And I want her to know that I'm still here, and that I still care about her. I'm sure she thinks I've moved on, but that's why I keep sending her letters! She needs to know that I'm here for her. She went through such a dark period in her life and I know she's prone to it again. She just needs to know that I will never stop loving her, no matter how long we're separated."

* * *

"Just order your people to calm the fuck down!" Aeron yelled at the Duke of Weselton.

"Oh they aren't my people anymore. Last time I checked you took over this place," he responded fiercely.

"I need to call a diplomatic meeting and having guards and representatives from this country would be too dangerous now. You need to tell them to stop…now!"

"Or what?"

Aeron locked his eyes on Elsa's, and she only gave her wicked smirk in return to show she understood. They were in the castle, and had gotten there without much trouble. The army of Weselton wasn't exactly as strong as Corona's, and Elsa had plowed her way through anyone who stood in her way. Their blood stained her white shirt everywhere, and some was even splattered across her face. She had discarded her armor, seeing no need to wear it all the time when she could easily defend herself.

"Or I'll just have to kill all of them," Elsa said, walking over to a window, opening it, and picking off a few soldiers and civilians with carefully aimed daggers of ice.

The Duke looked on in amazement and horror, wondering how such sorcery was possible. He gulped nervously, before shakily nodding his head.

"You're the only one they'll listen to," Aeron said.

The Duke nodded again, still too stunned to say anything. After a few more minutes of him recovering from what he witnessed, and, Elsa would say, an extremely tense and awkward silence, he opened his mouth to speak.

"I will address them tomorrow. I hate to admit it, but I need Princess Elsa to get them to stop running around."

"She will gladly help," Aeron answered smiling, "and it's Queen Elsa now."

"Wait…I'm sorry. What?" Elsa sent back.

"You heard me. I'm naming you Queen of the Southern Isles. Don't worry, you don't have to marry me or anything. We all know how weird that would be."

Elsa gave a forced, awkward laugh in return. _Okay, maybe I haven't change for the worse if I can still manage that kind of laugh. _She didn't dwell on it any longer though, as she turned back to the window, making up her mind to get the task over with right now. They shouldn't waste any more time with these people. After all, one more day of fighting could mean countless more lives lost. _And we wouldn't want that would we? _She asked herself, almost laughing at the irony.

She looked up at the sky, and sent a bolt of her powers into the clouds. Almost immediately, snow began to fall from the sky, the clouds turned grey and blocked out the sun, and the temperature dropped to ten degrees. The fighting stopped instantly, as everyone gazed in awe at the snow, wondering how this could happen during spring.

"You will address them _now,_" Elsa ordered.

"Yes…right away," the Duke stammered, rushing out of the room, down the stairs, and out the castle gates to a still shocked population of soldiers and civilians. Once Elsa heard him yelling at his people, she turned to King Aeron.

"Queen…really?"

"You are mature enough."

"I'm sixteen!"

"And? You have more power than any of us combined. The people in Corona kneel before you now. And soon, the people here will do the same," he told her.

"What if I want to be the Queen of Arendelle though? It's my home. I haven't forgotten about it. And I _am _supposed to be the queen there."

"If you truly wish. Elsa, I don't want to hold you back from anything. But know this, none of my brothers can know, and none of our people can know. They would see it as you betraying them, and they'd want to kill you, although I know you can protect yourself just fine." He smiled at her, and instead of his usual fake one, Elsa could tell it was genuine, as it lit up his normally dark eyes.

"You'd really let me go back?" she asked.

"Well not immediately. We'd have to return to the Southern Isles and make arrangements. And you wouldn't stay there forever. You would still need to come back to us at some point."

"Knowing my luck there will be another uprising again and it will hold me back."

"It'll be okay," Aeron said.

"Maybe not. Aeron, I think you should let their leaders have some say in governmental decisions. The people respond to them more simply because they will always stay loyal to their country. Forcing them to bow before one of your brothers won't help to calm them," Elsa pointed out. "I just think it would help settle things down at least…and you wouldn't have to worry as much about your brothers' safety."

"Maybe. But if I let the original Kings and Queens have any power they could hurt my brothers as it is," he returned. "Anyway, I was meaning to tell you something when you brought up going home. We're making progress with Corona. I've agreed to let their King and Queen come to the Southern Isles to discuss trading matters and how much of a role they will have from now on."

"Really? Aeron, that's great!"

"Yes it is Elsa. And if Duke Jameson can get things straightened out right now we'll be okay to invite all diplomatic leaders to the Southern Isles for our annual ball," he said. Elsa was practically bursting with joy. It felt nice to finally hear some good news. That people were finally settling down and agreeing to things… Instead of hearing that she had to go here or there, kill a bunch of people, and then threaten their king or queen to make them calm down. She zoned out on Aeron for just a moment, not tuning herself back in until he said his last comment. "Which means you'll be able to see your sister."

* * *

**Three months later**

_Anna, _Elsa began. She hadn't responded to any of Anna's letters for the last few months, and she hated herself for it. She could never think of the right things to say, so she had always talked herself out of writing. But now, she told Anna everything.

_The countries have calmed down for the most part. It's been good that Arendelle hasn't tried anything yet. I would hate to have to cause harm to my own people. But since there is relative peace now, King Aeron has agreed to arrange a ball for all the kings and queens. We aren't sure when it will be yet, but we hope in the near future. If this happens, we'll be able to finally see each other! I can't tell you how much happiness the idea brings to me. I'll just have to hope Corona doesn't try to start another uprising. If anything like that happens, then the ball with be called off. But I'm trying to keep my hopes up about this. I just need to see you._

_Also, I'm so sorry I haven't responded to you. I can never get my thoughts straightened out when I try to compose a letter to you. I hope you can forgive me. But please know that I think about you every day and that I will always love you. I miss you terribly, and my heart aches from not seeing you for so long. I love you._

_Elsa_

Knowing that she still felt such an intense love for Anna, even after all these years apart, showed Elsa that maybe, just maybe, she still had a soul. She thought she lost hers after all the people she'd killed. But even then, that wasn't the part that frightened her. It was the feeling of power and well, dare she say it, enjoyment to see others so defenseless against her, and the absence of empathy in her that chilled Elsa to the bone. But, writing this letter to Anna and even thinking about Anna filled her heart with such joy she didn't even know how to explain it. It reminded her that yes indeed, she still had a soul, and that yes indeed, she was still loved.

Elsa took out another sheet of paper as she began composing her letter back to Belle. They obviously hadn't seen each other after that night they shared in Corona, but through their letters they had shared things with each other they never told anyone else before. It was obvious to Elsa that Belle was in love with her, but she couldn't say the same for herself. This idea scared her sometimes. She had come across people who claimed they loved her, but she was always wondering how many of them truly meant it. Elsa thought that after everything that happened to her over the years since she hurt Anna, she had completely lost her grasp on what true love was.

* * *

"Elsa, I had to cancel our meeting with King Eugene and Queen Rapunzel of Corona."

"What? Why?"

"I never hide anything from you, but I was considering keeping this from you for just this one time. But it's gotten so bad over there Elsa. Once the people heard their leaders were actually considering continued trade with us they went crazy," Aeron answered.

"So we have to go there again," Elsa said flatly.

"I am sorry. I hope you aren't mad. But I know you are disappointed."

"I'm not angry. Aeron, I need to do something big to make these people stop. I honestly don't care if I kill all of them. I just need this fighting to stop so we can have that ball. It's the only way I can see my sister," Elsa said. "But why can't you just send me to Arendelle? They haven't been fighting against us. They want peace."

"Yes, but I don't want you there in case something happens somewhere else. I need you to help us - ,"

Aeron's words were cut off by the arrow flying through his chest. He began clutching at the wound, trying to suppress some of the bleeding, but it was too much and soon the blood was pouring over his hands, spilling onto the stone of the courtyard ground. Elsa watched helplessly, unable to utter a sound as he fell to the ground, the life rapidly draining out of his eyes.

She wondered if there was anything she could do. Maybe she could freeze the wound and get it to stop bleeding. No, she couldn't do that. She was a life ender not a life saver. She knelt beside him, not caring about the blood that now covered her shoes and pants. She'd gotten used to things like that. But watching someone she cared about die before her eyes…she didn't know how to put this kind of horror into words.

Out of the corner of her eye, Elsa saw two doctors running towards her. _You're too late, _she thought. _He'll be dead soon. _

"Elsa, come with me," she heard the smooth, confident voice of Hans say behind her. She fought him at first when he grabbed her arm, but eventually gave in to the fact that any attempt to help Aeron would be futile.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to Aeron as Hans pulled her away.

"I don't think they'll be able to save him. If we were here sooner, then maybe he could be saved. I'm sorry Elsa."

"Don't you fucking apologize to me!" she yelled at him. "How did you know about this? Did you just happen to walk by just a little too late to save your own brother?"

"Well for one, yes. And two, he's not my brother. Many of us have different mothers, but the same father. So technically, most of us are step or half-brothers. You should know that. I was sure Aeron had told you by now," Hans replied casually.

"Do you think this is some sort of joke? You did this, didn't you?"

"Do what?"

"You did," Elsa said. Now she was the one calming down, and Hans, well he kept his composure of the outside. "Why?"

"If I had done it, I would tell you. But I didn't," he answered, trying to keep his voice steady.

"You're going to tell me why right now," she demanded.

"Or what?"

"That's one of the worst things you could say to me." And in split second, Hans was pinned to the wall, a barrier of ice preventing him from escaping. A single icicle sharpened at the point sprouted from the ground and was slowly rising to his throat.

"You wouldn't kill me," Hans challenged.

"Oh Hans…I've killed so many people in these last three years. Do you honestly think one more would make a difference? Especially you. You're extremely talented at deceiving people. I must say I admire it. But it's too hard to fool someone like me." The icicle rose a little more, and was now only a few inches away from Hans' throat. He gulped as Elsa continued. "See, I know when people are lying. I can see it in their eyes. And you, my friend, are lying. So tell me…why?"

"Elsa, I was thirteenth in line. I didn't have a chance," he answered a little more shakily now.

"Oh, so you thought killing your way through all you brothers would get you there faster?" she shot back. "You never thought about marrying into royalty somewhere else?"

"No country would want to marry someone from the Southern Isles now. They hate us for forcing our rule on them. Many of my half-brothers have already taken wives in the other lands," he explained. "My first choice was you of course. After Aeron appointed you as queen, I figured it would be my perfect chance. Of course, there was Silas and his little schoolboy crush. But after a while I saw that no one was getting anywhere with you."

"So…If I understand you correctly: You killed Aeron because you couldn't marry anyone somewhere else and the person preferable to you here isn't remotely interested in marriage. Correct?"

"In a summary yes. But you're also leaving out the part about me planning to off some of the others to give me more of an advantage."

"You know you'd eventually be caught," Elsa told him.

"Maybe, maybe not. Um, could you maybe take this icicle away from my throat please," he replied.

"Hmm, no. I think I'll keep it there," Elsa said calmly, pushing the icicle so it now rested against the skin of Hans' throat. "You murdered someone close to me Hans."

"Do you think I care about you?" he hissed through clenched teeth. "I only care about what's best for myself. I was actually planning on having you killed at some point. But I guess that'll have to wait."

"You're pathetic, do you know that?" Elsa turned and began walking away.

"Wait! You can't just leave me here!" Hans called after her.

"I can do whatever I want…I'm the queen after all. And don't worry, _I'm _not going to kill you. I have a much better plan in mind."

**The next day**

Elsa knew what she wanted to do with Hans, but she asked the remaining five brothers living in the castle whether or not they thought it was a good idea. She never knew how much Hans' brothers actually hated him until today…every one of them agreed with her. None of them even raised any questions about it. They were sure the people of the Southern Isles felt the same way too. Yes, it had been decided: Public execution was the best option.

"I see you've come to kill me," Hans said as Elsa approached him. She had left him pinned against the wall for the entire night. And when she saw he was still so nonchalant and egotistical about things she only grew more eager to hurry things up with his execution.

"Come with me," she said as she waved her hand, making the ice block trapping him disappear.

"Enchanting," he mocked, and immediately went to pounce on her.

Elsa swiftly evaded his arms and fists coming at her, spinning off to her left before quickly coming back around, slamming her elbow into his head. He fell to the ground instantly, and she was glad she didn't put enough force behind her blow to knock him out. _Wouldn't want him unconscious as he's killed, _she thought.

"Come with me," she repeated. "I don't want to kill you now, so don't waste my time."

Hans was too stunned to say anything, so he silently obeyed and stood up shakily. He nearly fell over, but Elsa caught him by the arm.

"Allow me to escort you," she said with her wicked smile. Hans sent her a look that shot daggers at her, and she only returned it, her eyes changing to the white-blue color they were whenever she killed. Hans' breath caught as he saw the change, wondering how eyes so light could make Elsa look so dark.

Elsa led him towards the front gates of the castle, and when he saw the crowd of people standing outside he was finally able to speak to her.

"You're killing me in front of them?" he asked.

"Yes. And? I've killed so many people in front of their loved ones. What difference does it make if it's one more?" she shot back. "Although, none of these people love you."

Hans tried again to get away from Elsa. He locked his hands around her throat, but she came up with her right hand and landed a hard uppercut square into his jaw. He thought he heard something crack. Hans gasped in pain as the blood began to flow out of his mouth. Elsa only smiled.

"I told you not to waste my time," she said, venom dripping in her voice. She basically had to drag him out in front of the castle, where she then pushed him to his knees.

"Just give me the word Elsa," Prince George said. She was glad she chose him to do this. Out of all the brothers, he hated Hans the most. It was hard to believe he was only nineteen. He was so mature for his age. So respectful, loyal, brave. Hans was always getting under his skin, so of course when he found out he had killed Aeron he didn't hesitate to jump on the opportunity Elsa offered him.

"You can't do this," Hans said weakly. "I'm only fifteen."

"And I'm only sixteen. What's your point?" Elsa retorted. "You killed the king...That's treason. And that's always punishable by death."

"These people," Hans hissed, "they will mourn over me. They do love me. Unlike you. No one will care when you die."

"Is that so? Last time I checked I didn't really care if anyone loved me or not."

"You're incapable of loving anyone anymore Elsa," Hans fired at her.

"Being able to love doesn't come and go Hans. The ability is either there from the start, or it isn't. The only person I'll ever truly love is my sister. And that's all that matters."

"I doubt she even loves you anymore. Once she knows the monster you've become, she'll want nothing to do with you," Hans said.

Elsa sent a blade of ice careening into his arm. He groaned in pain as the blood began to leak through his shirt. She knew she shouldn't be doing this before killing him, but he didn't have the right to make assumptions about her sister like that. Elsa knew Anna still loved her, and that nothing would change that.

"Do you see these people standing behind me?" Elsa asked as she yanked Hans' head up by his hair so their eyes could meet. "These people want you dead. Your own brothers want you dead. In your short fifteen years you've managed to get under so many peoples' skin, hurt so many lives, and piss so many people off, they can't think of any alternative but to have you killed." In that one statement, Hans realized that he didn't want to die. He never thought he'd be afraid of death, but the more it dawned on him that it was really happening, he regretted everything he ever did.

"Please," he said. "I don't want to die. I'll give you anything. Just please, don't kill me."

"Oh cry me a fucking river and drown in it for all I care," Elsa spat back. "After all, you said it yourself: You only care about what's best for you. I've taken that into consideration, and I've decided that what's best for you at this point is if you're dead. We can't have someone planning to kill every person in the royal family still alive."

"At least I'll have people who mourn me," he said.

"You keep clinging to this false hope Hans. You should know it's the worst kind of hope to have," Elsa responded. She could see the pain and fear in his eyes as she took his chin gently and tilted his face to hers again. "I'm sorry Hans," she continued without any emotion behind her words. "If only there was someone out there who actually loved you."

She created a layer of ice that froze his body in place. She smirked to herself before she turned to Prince George.

"Off with his head."

* * *

**Three months later**

As queen, Elsa barely slept, ate, or socialized. This was nothing new to her, but the added stress of constantly dealing with trade arrangements, decisions regarding the kingdom, and controlling the other kingdoms abroad was taking a toll on her.

She had managed to stop the fighting in Corona. That was not easy. Corona had set out all of their soldiers, and Elsa had almost felt guilty for destroying an entire army as she summoned an icy hell on the kingdom. The blizzard she formed to blow through their forces was like nothing she'd ever created. She could vividly remember the shards of ice lodging in their victims' chests, bullets of hail travelling at such high speeds they left holes in their targets, and bolts of lightning charring the flesh of any unlucky person standing beneath it to the bone. Yes, she had indeed taken care of that problem fairly quickly. Within a day, every soldier that had been sent out to protect Corona was dead.

That whole incident was probably what made the people realize who they were really dealing with. It was either that or the winter she summoned over the kingdom. For the last few months, Corona has been stuck in a brutal winter. It snowed nearly every day, and the temperature was always below freezing. If Elsa couldn't be there to execute every single one of them, she could at least make them miserable. And she almost felt guilty for it.

Almost…

But nonetheless, Corona had agreed to a peace treaty between the two kingdoms. This was all Elsa wanted, and she was disappointed they had to get to the agreement the hard way…at least, the hard way for them. It had been extremely fun for Elsa to see an entire army fall in the blink of an eye to her powers. But now that they weren't at war with each other, she was gradually relieving them of the harsh winter she set upon them, but only because she was travelling there in two weeks for a ball. _A ball to signify the peace between us, _Elsa thought, mocking King Eugene's words to her.

The only thing she was looking forward to about the ball was that she would be able to see Belle. It had been a little more than a year and a half since their night together, and Elsa had promised she'd make it up to her.

Elsa shook her head a little to clear her mind of any thoughts that were distracting her now. She stood in front of her bedroom mirror like she'd done nearly every night for the last couple years. Her appearance was the same as it had been ever since she started killing. And every night she spent trying to figure out why she never cared about all the lives she'd ruined. Nearly all of her white shirts were stained with blood, so she had reverted to wearing all black now. Black shirts, black pants, black boots…everything. It more accurately represented her now. White was always too pure for her, but she had to admit the blood looked absolutely gorgeous on it. A little reminder of how powerful she was now.

But black…black was a color in its own realm. Black meant death. And Elsa had caused plenty of that. Black meant power. Elsa had all the power in the world at her fingertips. Black was dark, menacing, and strong.

However, there was something else to the color that drew Elsa to it. Black also represented mystery and the unknown. Elsa was her own mystery. She could never figure herself out, and she feared she would never be able to.

Elsa walked up to the mirror, standing so close she was almost pressed against it. She looked into her eyes, her now natural blue eyes that told her so much yet hid so much. She knew the obvious: She had been turned into a killing machine. But what she didn't know: Why did she enjoy it so much? There was something inside her that was doing this to her. Something she couldn't explain. She knew this wasn't her, and she would do anything to stop it. But this beast inside her kept telling her she couldn't. It kept telling her that this is who she was, and that she would stay like this forever. But she didn't want that. Elsa wanted to change, no matter how hard it would be. But what if she truly couldn't do it?

Maybe she didn't realize it when she was younger. Maybe she would have grown into this no matter what. But she didn't want this. How could someone murder thousands of innocent people and not have any guilt about it, but as soon as they think of their sister they completely break down and hate their very being? It just wasn't possible. If Elsa had truly become this sociopath, who thrived on the pain and suffering of others, who didn't have any emotions, then she couldn't possibly still be able to feel something for Anna. It just couldn't happen. No, because of Anna, Elsa knew she still had a soul.

Elsa looked into her own eyes again. They conveyed nothing yet everything to her at the same time. No emotion, no glint, no light. Yet in the same instant she saw all her guilt, regret, and pain she had kept bottled up for all those years after she hurt Anna. In her eyes, she saw all her hidden demons that were so desperately trying to get out.

* * *

**Two weeks later**

Elsa had ignored all the dirty looks she received from the people of Corona as she had made her way to the castle. She wasn't here for them. She was here for the ball, to see King Eugene and Queen Rapunzel, and to see Belle.

She had absolutely no idea what to wear to something like this, considering she had never been to something quite so formal. She didn't have enough time to have a dress made for her, so she had borrowed one of Silas' old suits and hoped it looked good enough. Elsa had never worn anything like this before, and was surprised at how well she pulled it off. She didn't look too masculine, which was good. Instead, she gave off a confident and elegant air to her.

The suit wasn't anything special: Black dress shoes, black slacks, a white button down shirt, a black jacket with peaked lapels, and a tie of course. Silas had given her a lot of options for tie colors, and she eventually decided on a deep, royal blue one.

She had the cuffs of her shirt folded over the end of the jacket's sleeves, and had buttoned the front of the jacket as well. Her hair was in an elegant waterfall braid that fell over her left shoulder, and even though she was in men's attire, she still walked with the air of a queen. She was the youngest queen at only sixteen, but the way she was dressed tonight she looked as if she could be turning twenty.

"King Eugene, Queen Rapunzel," she said as they met her at the front of the castle's gates as they said they would. They exchanged curtsies before the king and queen led Elsa into the castle.

"Am I late?" Elsa asked when she realized there were already a lot of people inside the castle.

"Of course not. We're just getting started," King Eugene answered. The crowd grew thicker as they neared the ballroom, people politely bowing as the trio walked by, and Elsa could feel herself growing a little anxious by being in the presence of so many people.

Eugene led Elsa and Rapunzel over to one of the many tables set up before excusing himself to get them drinks. Elsa fidgeted a little, uncomfortable with all the looks she was getting from the people at the ball.

"Can I apologize?" she asked Rapunzel.

"For what?"

"Don't act so ignorant about this. Rapunzel, I killed your entire army and God knows how many of your people! I don't deserve to be treated with kindness," Elsa said.

"Please Elsa. It wasn't your fault. We knew each other when we were little kids. I won't let any of this ruin what we have with each other." Rapunzel was only nineteen, but sometimes when she spoke Elsa felt like it was the wisest old lady speaking through her mouth. She always made her feel at ease somehow, and she always forgave Elsa for some reason. Yes they were friends, but Elsa had never found it in herself to forgive a few people in her life yet and knew she would never be able to forgive as easily as Rapunzel could.

"I just want you to know I'm sorry, and that I'll pay for all the damages I caused."

"There's no need for that Elsa. You're only sixteen, and you have too much stress on your back to begin with. And don't worry about the people here. They're trying their best to forgive you, and I know Eugene and I already have," Rapunzel said.

Elsa hoped she was right. She couldn't have the possibility of another potential uprising on her hands, which is why she had granted Rapunzel and Eugene partial rule back over their kingdom. Audi and Jaxith were still here, and they had done a relatively good job of ruling. She was sure that's why there had been more peace here lately. Rapunzel and Eugene were wonderful and fair rulers. Taking away their power would only make the people of Corona angry. Elsa saw that, which was why from the second she took the throne she set out to give them at least some power back.

She wasn't of age yet to have a coronation and officially become Queen of the Southern Isles, but then again, she didn't want that. They only reason she was recognized as the queen was because Aeron had made it clear that she was to take over after him. And in the case of his unfortunate death, she had been forced to take the position. But she promised herself she would make it back to Arendelle before she was twenty one. Then she could have the coronation in her home kingdom and rule the land she was supposed to. And after that…well, she was planning something. She didn't know exactly what it was yet. But it had something to do with getting revenge on the Southern Isles…getting revenge on them for turning her into the monster so many people, even she herself, now thought she was.

* * *

Elsa had spent the whole night pretending. Pretending she wanted to dance with random strangers, pretending she wanted to talk to people, and pretending she wanted to be there. The only reason she came was to show Corona that they were finally at peace and that they could trust her. She also came to see Belle, but she hadn't come across her yet the entire evening.

She downed another glass of wine. _Which glass was that? Should I even be drinking this much? _It had to be her seventh or eighth glass by now. She certainly didn't think alcohol was the best way to go with how she felt to begin with. A pissed off Elsa mixed with wine was a combination asking for disaster.

"Rapunzel," she said to the blonde sitting across from her. "I think I'm gonna head out."

"Oh, we set up guest chambers for you. You know, just in case this sort of thing happened." She giggled, and Elsa tried her best to smile back. "You really shouldn't begin travelling tonight. You're drunk Elsa."

"I figured that much out," Elsa replied with a smirk.

"So you need a good night's sleep. I'll have someone take you to the chambers."

Elsa heard someone clear their throat and tuned around in her seat to see Belle standing before her.

"Your Majesty," Belle said, giving a small curtsy. "If I may have this last dance with you please?"

She held out her hand, and Elsa smiled before taking it. She was surprised she didn't fall over once she stood up, given her current drunken state, and she wasn't sure how well dancing would go. But she couldn't resist Belle. She looked so stunning tonight, as she wore a beautiful golden ball gown, and Elsa was captivated at how they made her gorgeous hazel eyes stand out. Some of her dark brown hair was tied in a bun, while the rest of it flowed out behind her in an elegant ponytail, and Elsa found herself unconsciously tucking a loose strand of hair behind Belle's ear as they faced each other on the dance floor.

Elsa didn't have much experience with ballroom dancing, since she never thought she'd be attending a ball so early. But she did know a few variations of the waltz, and she somewhat breathed a sigh of relief as the music to a common waltz began playing. Elsa placed one hand on Belle's waist, and in turn Belle rested one of her hands on Elsa's shoulder. Elsa found Belle's free hand and intertwined their fingers, earning a smile from the brunette.

"Are things really settling down here?" Elsa asked as she led them into the waltz, slurring her words just slightly.

"Getting better. It was good…what you did," Belle answered. "I think it gave the people here hope that you aren't like the others from the Southern Isles."

"I try," Elsa said back, flashing a charming smile that made Belle's heart melt. "I don't want all this fighting."

"I don't think anyone does. But you're helping, and that's always a good thing."

As the waltz ended, Elsa repositioned her hand holding Belle's so now it was pressing against the small of her back as she dipped the shorter girl. Belle placed both arms around Elsa's shoulders, and when the blue eyed girl brought her back up, they were so close Belle could almost kiss her.

"So," Elsa said in a more than drunk and husky voice than she would have liked. However, Belle only found it extremely attractive. "They had the guest chambers set up for me. Wanna get out of here?"

"Absolutely," Belle answered.

* * *

Elsa barely gave Belle enough time to turn around before she had the brunette pinned against the bedroom door. She rested one hand against Belle's waist, while the other planted itself next to the smaller girl's head against the door. Belle pulled Elsa against her by her tie before closing the distance between their lips.

Elsa kissed her back fervently, desperately trying to feel something…anything. Maybe this wasn't the right time considering she was drunk out of her mind at the moment. But she needed to know she wasn't this emotionless person completely overtaken by her inner demons. She needed to know she could still love someone. Belle was certainly important to her, and the brunette that now lay beneath Elsa on the bed was the only person besides Anna who told her they loved her.

Their clothes had been carelessly discarded and now lay scattered across the floor. But Elsa's tie had stayed on. Every time Elsa would pull away slightly to catch her breath Belle would always pull her back down by the tie, and for some reason Elsa found this extremely arousing. Maybe she could still feel something after all. _No, you idiot. Anyone would feel aroused if they were in bed with Belle, _she told herself. Elsa needed to feel something emotional tonight. She had to feel something eventually.

Elsa captured Belle's lips again, and their tongues danced and fought with each other, which was a battle easily won for Elsa. Elsa kept their lips pressed together as she gently pushed two fingers inside of Belle. The brunette let out a soft moan as she felt Elsa's fingers slide in and out of her. Belle separated their lips for a small moment, allowing both girls to take in much needed air.

"I love you," Belle whispered, hazel eyes locking on sky blue ones.

"I love you too," Elsa said back. It had been a while since Elsa had said those words. And for a moment, she felt like she almost meant it.

Almost… Which meant she didn't. And she hated herself for it.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah, I decided to get rid of Hans pretty early...sorry not sorry I just can't stand him.**

**Be sure to tell me what you think of the story, constructive criticism is always welcomed as well.**

**Don't worry, there will be an Elsa and Anna reunion in the next chapter! I just needed to get some stuff out of the way with Elsa's character development as Sociopath!Elsa and Dark!Elsa. **

**So yes, pretty soon we will have Elsanna and icest and all that good stuff going on. But...lo and behold their romance will not come without angst and sexual frustration... Don't forget Belle will still be around. So yes, there has been and will continue to be intense Belsa stuff going on.**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	6. What Is This Feeling

Chapter 6 - What Is This Feeling

"_I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you but with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide…" – Demons, by Imagine Dragons_

**Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse and rape in the character of Anna, as well as hints of depression in Elsa.**

**Three years later (Elsa is nineteen, Anna is sixteen)**

It had been too long. Much too long for Elsa at least. She didn't even know if Anna really missed her anymore. It seemed that she still did, but maybe she was only responding to Elsa to humor her. _What if she doesn't want to see me? _Elsa was terrified by the thought. What if Anna had moved on with her life? _She probably forgot about me. _

Elsa was always worrying about how Anna would react to her now. If she found out what she'd turned into, she wouldn't want to see her again. Elsa was sure of that. But she couldn't imagine that Anna would know all that much. The Southern Isles rarely had any contact with Arendelle to begin with, so word couldn't have reached the kingdom about what Elsa was doing. Unless Rapunzel had written to Anna. Elsa knew they would always be close friends, but if Rapunzel had sent something to Anna telling her of all the terrible things Elsa did… _No, she wouldn't do that to me or Anna. Rapunzel wouldn't do that to us. _

Elsa had finally managed to establish relative peace throughout all the kingdoms. She had allowed their previous kings and queens to have partial rule with the Princes from the Southern Isles, and it had gone quite well actually. The Princes that Aeron had sent to the other kingdoms were the best choices. They were all smart when it came to making decisions and worked generally well with other people…except for Darce.

A few months ago Anna had written her a letter telling her everything. She told Elsa about how Darce took away nearly all the freedom of the people of Arendelle, how he had guards stationed at nearly every street corner to watch over everything and everyone, and how he held public executions for anyone who didn't do as he said. Elsa was horrified by the news. She had always known Darce to be a violent man…mainly because he had a hard time controlling his anger. But she didn't know he was this bad.

So, with the help of the remaining brothers in the castle, it was decided that there was enough peace in the surrounding kingdoms for Elsa to travel to Arendelle. She was surprised that Talbot had not taken any action against Darce. Talbot was not much better, but he still tried to show mercy whenever he could. She would've thought he'd have stopped Darce by now. But nonetheless, Elsa would be going to Arendelle in a week, which meant she could help her true home and finally see Anna.

"Elsa, will anyone else be coming with us?" Silas asked as they walked back to their rooms from the dining hall.

"No," she answered shortly. "Darce would overreact if I brought more people with me."

"But why me? Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset. I'm actually excited. But still…"

"I trust you the most," Elsa told him. "And I know you still have feelings for me, but you've done your best to push them away in order to just be friends. I appreciate that."

"Thanks," Silas replied, bowing his head to try and hide his smile. "But you're sure you don't want to take someone like Belle… Ya know, for company." He raised an eyebrow suggestively, and Elsa tried to stifle a laugh to no avail.

"I don't think she'll take it well when I tell her. I just don't want to put her in danger. Who knows what could happen when we go there. And besides, I'm nineteen, and I'm supposed to be Queen of Arendelle," Elsa said.

"I thought your coronation is when you're twenty-one?"

"Exactly."

Silas' light green eyes widened ever so slightly once he realized what Elsa was telling him. "You're not coming back?"

"I can't. Silas, as much as I care about you and Belle, I can't come back here. Arendelle is my home, no matter how long I've been away. And I'm next in line to the throne."

"So you're going to send Darce and Talbot home."

"Talbot and his men, yes. I have something different planned for Darce. He's been ruling over the people with cruelty and violence, and if I find out that he ever so much as laid a finger on Anna that will only make his situation even worse," Elsa said.

"Do I have to come back?" Silas asked.

"Do you want to?" Elsa was met with a shake of Silas' head. "Then you don't have to," she told him. He turned to say goodnight and to give Elsa a quick hug. She returned it half-heartedly before opening her bedroom door. _She's gonna hate me, _she thought.

Silas was always asking her why she didn't just marry Belle. It seemed like that would happen when Belle decided to stay in the Southern Isles after a ball they held to celebrate the peace, finally, throughout the kingdoms. That was only a few months ago, and Elsa was pissed of course, because Prince Talbot and Prince Darce had come from Arendelle and they didn't bring Anna. But she was relieved to see Belle again.

Elsa couldn't really figure out what they were. Silas had told her a number of times that they were 'totally in a relationship'. But Elsa didn't want that…at least not yet. Her job of ruling the Southern Isles had definitely put a wedge in between them now. Even though they spent their nights together, they rarely saw each other during the day. Belle had taken up a job with a blacksmith, and Elsa was always trapped in her study reading trade proposals and even actual marriage proposals from suitors. Or she was in meetings all day listening to annoying people talk about how great their kingdom is and how they'd love to be involved with the Southern Isles in some way. She hated it.

But at night, when Elsa was finally able to get away from it all, she would always have Belle by her side. Usually she couldn't sleep because the stress would keep her up. And sometimes she even took Belle with her to the courtyard in the middle of the night to show her how she was continuing to grow and control her powers. Belle was always amazed at what Elsa could do with her ice. She'd make intricate ice sculptures with every curve and edge cut exactly how it should be. And even though many people thought it childish, they'd have snowball fights, and Silas and Gareth often joined them.

Elsa smiled to herself at the good memories she was able to have here. She usually dwelled on all the horrible things she did. It wasn't even the killing of innocent people that got to her. It was knowing that she never felt anything when she did it.

She shook her head to get rid of those thoughts, and instead concentrated on how to break the news to Belle that she couldn't go with her to Arendelle. _And how I won't be coming back._ She found Belle with her back turned to her, placing her bag of tools in the closet.

"Just got back?" Elsa asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "And I'm assuming you just finished dinner."

Elsa nodded before taking her boots off. Belle and even some of the brothers had always told her to start dressing more like a queen: fancy shoes and dresses and even wearing the crown sometimes during a meeting and whatnot. Elsa hated it. She wasn't exactly a big fan of dresses or heels, but nonetheless she had agreed to wear the things to formal meetings. She crafted her own dresses. She made them from black ice, and everyone always marveled at how they never melted. They were beautiful dresses, but nothing flashy or showy. They were simple yet elegant and had small, delicate patterns weaving throughout them. Yet, however much Belle, Silas, and even the people loved to see her in the dresses, Elsa almost always wore her usual outfit: black boots, black pants, and a black, long sleeved button down shirt.

Her hair was in its usual braid most of the time now, and her eyes had stayed her natural sky blue color for a while. One might say there was too much black, but to Elsa it suited her just fine.

People said Elsa wasn't as ruthless anymore, and sometimes Elsa believed them too. But then she knew that it was only because not many people had given her a reason to kill. There were the occasional executions for someone who tried to take her life, but other than that there hadn't been much for Elsa. _How could there be? With all the meetings and everything, _she thought.

"You look worried," Belle said, drawing Elsa out of her thoughts.

"Kind of. Look, I'm going to Arendelle next week. I need to take care of Darce. Let's just say he hasn't been the best of rulers," Elsa started. "I'm bringing Silas with me. He's one of the Princes, and I feel like Darce won't think we're threatening him if someone he knows is there with me. So…I don't want to sound rude or anything…but…I can't take you with me."

"Why?"

"It's too dangerous. Anna told me that there have been occasional fights breaking out in front of the castle. People are trying to rebel. We've been lucky it hasn't gotten bad, but I don't want to risk it. This could be my only clear chance of getting back to my sister," Elsa answered.

"Ah, I see," Belle said. Her face didn't show any expression of hurt, but more so an expression of trying to understand why exactly Elsa didn't want to take her. Belle wasn't stupid when it came to understanding Elsa and her emotions…or lack of them. Elsa had gotten extremely good at lying. She could make anyone believe anything. She could tell someone that fish were falling from the sky and sound so convincing they'd probably believe her. But through all this Belle always knew when Elsa was hiding something or when she wasn't telling the truth. And right now was one of those moments.

"But there is a chance you could be there for a while right? I mean, getting rid of Darce might be easy, but your sister…" Belle trailed off and waited for Elsa to finish for her.

"I don't know when I'll be back," Elsa said honestly. "My sister and I have a lot of catching up to do…and I have a lot of apologies to make to her."

"I'm sure you two will be fine," Belle replied. "She's your sister, and unless you did something really terrible to her, she'll always forgive you."

"But I almost killed her. And then I shut myself away for those years following. And then I was taken away from her. And then I never - ,"

"Enough," Belle said, cutting Elsa off. "None of those things were your fault, and I'm sure she knows that. You two will be okay Elsa. I'm sure of it."

"And you're not mad that I can't take you?"

"I'll be fine Elsa. Go to your sister. You two need each other."

* * *

Anna wasn't sure how to react when she found out Elsa was coming to Arendelle. She was truly happy. She hadn't seen her sister for nearly a decade. But she was also afraid. Not afraid of her sister, but afraid of how she would react when she found her like she was.

Anna, for the most part, had been treated with respect and kindness while Arendelle was occupied by the Southern Isles. However, during the last year, things had taken a turn for the worse. Prince Darce had abused his powers. He executed more often, made life a living hell for the people, and had been brutal to Anna.

She never knew when the change took place in the prince, but he was suddenly overcome with the ludicrous thought that she would try to kill him in order to take the throne. So, Darce had taken Anna and locked her up in the tower in the east wing of the castle. The tower had not been occupied or even tended to for nearly thirty years. It was dark, isolated, and very depressing.

But Anna had tried to be optimistic. She was still given food and water. She wasn't chained up or anything. But she was alone…very alone. Kristoff wasn't allowed to see her. Darce forbade any contact she might have. He was absolutely paranoid that she would rally the people behind her in an attempt at rebellion. And through it all, Anna had remained hopeful that she would get out of the tower soon enough. That is, until Darce began to take advantage of her.

She had no one to call for. No one could get to her, and there was no where she could run. Darce was so overcome with paranoia that he would make Anna tell him things he wanted to hear, even if they weren't true. He'd make her tell him her plans for rebellion, plans to take the throne, plans to assassinate him. He'd make her tell all these things as he beat her, whipped her, raped her.

She tried to have sympathy for the man. He really had no idea what he was doing. But she couldn't get the feeling out of her that after what he put her through, she wanted someone to kill him. And above all, she wanted to be the one to do it.

So once the guard left after delivering the news that her sister would be here next week, Anna fell to her knees and cried into her hands. Elsa couldn't see her like this. She could only imagine how she would react. Anna had heard stories about Elsa. She heard that she was a ruthless, emotionless murderer. She spared no one. Of course, Darce had been the one to tell her this, so she wasn't sure if any of it was true.

Anna had very little memory of Elsa's ice powers. Her parents had told her that Elsa had a gift that could be beautiful and dangerous. She spent three years wondering what that gift was. And when that day came when her father was murdered and Arendelle was seized, Anna found out about Elsa's powers again. When she saw the icicles jutting out of the floor, Anna thought that Elsa could protect them.

That's all she remembered though. And she refused to believe that Elsa would use her power to kill. It just wasn't like her sister to fall into an image so dark like that. But as much as it would disturb Anna, she would never stop loving Elsa. She was her sister after all, and she promised herself she'd try to understand and accept Elsa no matter what. They'd been separated for so long, and Anna had no idea what Elsa could have gone through during that time. _Hopefully she wasn't hurt like me, _Anna thought.

* * *

**The next week**

Elsa couldn't help but feel nervous as she neared the docks of Arendelle. She was not sure how the people would receive her, but she did not want any harm to come to them. Through the entire trip here, she worried out the people, Anna, Silas, and Belle. But in all her worrying, Elsa had one piece of her that was filled with rage. Murderous rage.

She had no idea what she would do to Darce once she stood in front of him, but she knew his death wouldn't be pretty. _How dare he harm my people, _she thought. She was almost about to send a bolt of ice shooting from her fingertips just to let off some steam when she felt Silas rest his hand on her shoulder.

"I don't think that would be a great first impression," he said, giving her a small smile. He knew when Elsa was upset. He learned to tell by her changing eye colors. And right now they were nearly white. Whenever Elsa was killing…or thinking about it for that matter, her eyes always changed to the lightest shade of blue possible. Hence the nearly white appearance. They were her natural sky or royal blue color when she was calm…or when she was relaxing or having fun (if that ever happened anymore). And they were the darkest of navies or nearly black when she was closing herself off from everyone…in other words: Whenever she was trapped in her self-loathing and depression.

Silas watched as Elsa took a few deep breaths, calming herself, her eyes going back to the color of the sky, and the small layer of frost disappearing from the deck of the ship. She gave him a reassuring look as the ship slowed as they entered the dock.

They let the anchor down, and about ten guards came over and began tying the ship down. They found Prince Talbot waiting for them on the dock with a small smile on his face.

"My brother," he said to Silas, "it's so good to see you." Talbot embraced Silas in a tight hug before turning his attention to Elsa.

"Where's Darce?" she asked.

"In the castle," he replied. "I will take you to him now."

A number of people had gathered in the streets and courtyard of the castle waiting for Elsa's arrival. They all looked relieved and genuinely happy to have a part of their royal family back. Anna was the only one left, and as long as Darce and Talbot were alive, there was no chance of them having any power at all.

Many people stopped Elsa on their walk to the castle to say a simple 'hello' or 'welcome back'. The people knew that when she was taken, there would be no chance of having a queen unless they found some way to take back the throne. But now that Elsa was here…she could imagine how glad they must be. And she appreciated it more than they knew. Usually, people now looked at her with fear and cautiousness, making sure not to slip up in front of her. But the people here did not know what she was capable of, and Elsa had no intention of showing them anytime soon.

Talbot quickly led them to the gates of the castle, and soon they were inside it. Elsa looked around, trying to take the sight in, trying to remember her life here, and also trying to find Anna. She thought her sister would've been waiting at the docks for her. _Maybe she doesn't want to see you. _

Talbot continued to lead them through the castle, eventually stopping at the throne room.

"Darce should be out shortly. He's in the middle of a - ,"

Talbot's words were cut off by Elsa wrenching the doors to the room open to reveal a startled Prince Darce as well as a man who looked like a farmer. Darce had his sword drawn, and by the looks of it he was preparing to kill the man before him.

"I'm busy," Darce said.

"I don't care. You let him go, and you speak with me," Elsa demanded.

"This man stole break from a bakery."

"And he should be killed for that?" Elsa shot the sword out of Darce's hand with a bolt of ice before rushing over to him. He tried to grab her, but she swiftly evaded his hands and landed a hard punch to the side of his face. He stumbled a bit before Elsa rammed her foot into his side, knocking him to the ground, before she pinned him to the ground with layers of ice on his arms and legs.

"Elsa," Silas called from behind her. "Don't kill him!"

Elsa let out a wicked laugh before turning to Silas. "I won't kill him yet. I find it much more fun to torture my victims." She turned back to Darce, her eyes nearly white, and sent a dagger of ice shooting into his left arm. He screeched in pain, and a smile came to Elsa's face. "Where is she?"

"You won't find her," he answered through clenched teeth.

"I may have been away from here for a while but I still know this castle like the back of my hand," she said, and sent another dagger this time into his right arm. The blood was pooling beneath his arms now, and his shirt was completely soaked through. Elsa didn't care, she wanted him to suffer. And with the way he was acting she knew he hurt Anna.

"She's all alone my dear Elsa," Darce said.

"You put her in the tower!" Elsa shouted, venom and hatred dripping in her voice. The look of complete shock on Darce's face told Elsa he had no idea how she could have known that so quickly. _Of course I know, _she thought. During the years she was locked away after hurting Anna, Elsa often snuck away to the tower to truly be alone. No parents coming to check on her, and no Anna to sit outside her door and make her feel even more guilty about herself.

Elsa felt the rush of memories hit her as she ran through the castle halls, leaving a trail of frost and bodies behind her. Anyone who stood in her way was shot down with a blade of ice. Whether she killed them or not, Elsa could care less.

She had given orders to Silas and Talbot not to free Darce of his restraints, although she wasn't sure if they'd actually listen to her. She wasn't worrying about that though because she knew she would make Darce endure a slow and painful death, and she'd enjoy every moment of it.

She stopped before the door that led to the tower, catching her breath and wondering if she could actually do this. For a reunion with Anna, this was definitely not what Elsa was expecting. She wanted to see her sister, but she wasn't sure if she could handle what she might find. Elsa saw the devilish look in Darce's eyes. The look that told her he had done something to Anna. He almost looked satisfied with Elsa's reaction.

Elsa blasted the door down with a large ball of ice before taking one last deep breath before racing up the stairs.

* * *

Anna heard the pounding of footsteps on the stairs, and she immediately retreated against the wall of the tower. The steps were heavy, and she could sense that whoever was coming up the stairs…well, they were angry and frantic.

She thought that maybe Darce was coming to torture her again. But that didn't make sense to her. He had already given her a beating earlier today. He went off on some tangent about how people like her couldn't be let out in the open because she would corrupt the minds of the people and turn them against him. That, of course, was absurd. But it didn't stop the pounding of fists that came down on Anna. She could still feel the small trickle of blood in her mouth, but for the most part she was just in pain. She was sure he had broken her nose, and there was dried blood all over her face. Many of it had splattered on her clothes as well, staining the plain green shirt she was wearing. Her ripped and torn pants were also covered in dirt and dried blood, and the throbbing pain between her legs would never seem to go away.

Anna's breathing grew heavier as the footsteps grew closer, and the temperature dropped suddenly and drastically. She nearly fell to the ground as the door to the tower was slammed open like nothing, even though there were about ten locks on it.

She took her hands away from her face, and lifted it up to meet the one belonging to whoever came for her. Instead of the tall, strong build of Darce that she expected to find, Anna's eyes met those with the most gorgeous shade of blue she'd ever seen. The blue eyes that no doubt belonged to her sister.

Anna's breath caught in her throat as her eyes traveled all over Elsa's face and body. Her hair was jet black and fell over her shoulder in a braid, she wore all black clothes, and she looked taller and stronger than Anna would have expected. She was surprised she even recognized Elsa, but those eyes…she would always know Elsa's eyes.

Yet through all of the pain Anna was experiencing right now, and through all of the shock at seeing her sister, grown up and as beautiful as ever, she couldn't register anything to say. The most logical thing to do would be to race over to Elsa and throw herself in her sister's arms. But Anna couldn't bring herself to move. She couldn't guarantee how she would react if Elsa spoke to her or touched her. She didn't know what happened to her once she saw her sister burst through the door. Anna knew she found out about Darce, and for all she knew he could be dead already. But the redhead just looked at her sister, standing there in the doorway with an expression filled with concern and anger.

And for the moment, Anna forgot about all the pain and torture she'd been through during the last few months. Hell, she forgot about the ruthless beating she had just taken that very morning. She wanted to tell herself to think of something else, or to actually say something to her sister whom she hadn't seen for nearly ten years. But no matter how hard she tried, Anna did another once over of Elsa and could only register one thought. And no matter how much she knew she shouldn't think like it, Anna couldn't help the feeling run through her at the sight of Elsa.

_Oh God…she's hot._

* * *

Elsa nearly collapsed in grief at the sight of her sister when she entered the tower. She knew Anna was hurt, but she didn't know she was hurt _this _badly. Bruises and cuts were scatted across her face and arms, and there were still some open wounds as well. Her pants were torn in various areas, revealing more scrapes and bruises that seemed worse. Elsa could only imagine what lay under Anna's shirt and pants. She didn't need any convincing to know what Darce had put Anna through. She wasn't even sure if death was the proper punishment for him now.

But despite all the injuries that coated Anna's body, Elsa noticed how stunningly beautiful her sister was. _She doesn't look sixteen, that's for sure, _Elsa thought. Through the fairly baggy clothing Anna was wearing, Elsa could see the slim, athletic build that composed her sister. Anna's face looked thoroughly worn and stressed, but Elsa saw past that. Anna's perfect jawline, her high cheekbones, and her eyes that seemed to be the same sky blue color of Elsa's, but the more she looked, she saw they were more of a light teal color. And they were beautiful. Her strawberry blonde hair was loose and flowed around her face and over her shoulders. Elsa could tell it hadn't been combed in a while, as it was a mess, but nonetheless absolutely gorgeous.

Before Elsa even thought about what she was doing, she had rushed over to Anna and had slung her sister's arm around her. She began leading Anna out of the tower, and had to choke back tears at the sight of how weak she really was. _I'm so sorry, _Elsa thought to herself. Neither girl had said a word to each other yet.

About halfway down the stairs, Anna's legs gave out, and she would have fallen to the ground if it weren't for Elsa's strong arms around her. Elsa had no choice, and she carried her sister bridal style _(how romantic) _down the rest of the stairs, through the hallways, and into the throne room, where she was met with shocked expressions from both Talbot and Silas.

"Take her to her room, and make sure she's okay," Elsa ordered. Silas was the first to act, taking Anna from Elsa, and Talbot quickly led him in the direction of Anna's room. Elsa trusted them, and by the expression on his face she could tell that Talbot had no idea of what Darce had done to Anna. And as much as Elsa wanted to go after them and see to it that her sister was okay, she still had to take care of Darce.

She turned to the man still pinned to the floor by her ice, and sent another razor sharp dagger into his left thigh. She smirked as he screamed in pain.

"You're going to pay for this," she told him.

"Please…I don't want to die."

"Funny, that's what Hans said right before he was killed." Elsa only laughed when Darce shot her a confused look. "Oh, you didn't hear? Yes, I had one of his brothers behead him after he killed Aeron. I know, what an unfortunate fate for a young teenager."

"You're sick," Darce said through clenched teeth.

"No…you're sick. Beating and violating a sixteen year old girl…who does that?" Elsa shot back. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you."

"Yeah right."

"I have something much better in mind for you." She left the throne room for a moment, made the short walk to the doors of the castle, opened them, and pulled two guards back in with her. They were guards from Arendelle, so she knew they'd obey anything she said. "Take him to the dungeon," she instructed, "and make sure he's chained up." With that, Elsa took away the restraints of ice that held Darce in place. He was too weak to do anything, and Elsa's wicked grin came onto her face as the guards took him by the arms, registering an extremely loud scream of anguish from the wounded man. Once she saw them round the corner, Elsa darted out of the throne room and headed for Anna's room.

* * *

"Is she okay?" Elsa said, throwing the door to her sister's room open so hard she nearly broke it right off its hinges.

Silas ran to Elsa and placed his hands on her shoulders to try and calm her down. "Elsa, she'll be okay. She's hurt pretty badly, but the doctor said she'll heal eventually."

"Eventually?" Elsa hissed. "I swear, what I'm gonna do to Darce…he'll be begging for death."

"Elsa, calm down. Just go to Anna," Silas said. He nodded to Talbot and the doctor, and all three left the room, shutting the door behind them.

Elsa pulled the chair from Anna's desk and set it next to the bed before taking a seat on it. She folded her arms on the edge of the bed and rested her head on them, and her eyes met Anna's again. Still, neither girl said a word to each other.

What could Elsa say? She had just found her sister beaten and bloody in the castle tower, and God knew how long it had been going on for. Elsa was trying. She was trying so hard to find the right thing to say. But she had no idea. She didn't know what would come out of her mouth dare she open it. She couldn't apologize…not yet at least. And she couldn't confront Anna about this until she gained her strength and healed.

"Hi," Elsa finally got out. _Wow, I sound like an idiot._

"Hi," Anna replied, giving a warm smile. Elsa saw that it was genuine, as her sister's worn out teal blue eyes immediately lit up when they met her own.

Elsa had no idea what she was feeling inside her right now. Her heart swelled with so much happiness just by seeing Anna, and she was completely at a loss for words. And that never happened to Elsa. She always knew what to say and was always composed about everything. But now…now she found her mind completely blank of anything, and she could feel herself breaking down. The walls Elsa had put up around her heart were rapidly deteriorating just from the sight of her sister looking so broken in front of her.

"Elsa, why are you crying?" Anna asked. She lifted her hand to Elsa's face and gently wiped away the tear that had escaped her eye.

"I could've come back for you," Elsa said weakly. "I could've…h-helped you…could've saved you fr-from him."

"Elsa please. You wouldn't have known. Don't blame yourself. You've always done that with everything," Anna replied. "All you need to know right now, in this moment, is that I'll be okay and that we're together now."

Anna felt terrible as she watched her older sister bury her face in the sheets of the bed and cry. There was nothing she could do but let her be. Elsa had so many reasons to cry but she never let herself. Anna knew that. But now, being alone with her, being reunited with her, Elsa could just be herself. Elsa could be strong, determined, angry, sad, or weak now, because Anna would always be there for her. But nonetheless, there was still so much Anna needed to know about her sister. They had so much catching up to do, and Anna was eager to get to it.

"Elsa," she began, "we need to talk."

"I know," Elsa answered, stifling the last of her tears. "But not now."

"Why? I want to know everything Elsa. We've been separated for so long."

"I know. But I don't think you could handle many of the things I need to tell you right now. You need to rest for a while. Tomorrow, perhaps?"

"Fine." Anna let out an exasperated sigh as she moved into a more comfortable position on her bed. Elsa pulled the blankets over her before she turned to leave.

"Wait," Anna called after her sister. "Can you stay here…with me? Please. I don't trust anyone in this castle and now I have you Elsa."

Elsa turned back to the weary eyed redhead. _God she looks so adorable right now. Wait…what? Should I even think that about my sister? _Elsa shoved the thought from her mind as she made her way back to Anna's bed. She took a seat in the chair again, and Anna gave her a puzzled look.

"I don't sleep very much to begin with," Elsa explained, "and knowing the state you're in now I don't think I could sleep anyway. I'll be right here Anna." Elsa reached out and took Anna's hand in her own, and the contact sent a shiver through her entire body. _Is that normal? _She didn't think it was, but little did she know that Anna felt the same way when their hands touched.

"Promise me you won't leave?" Anna asked as she began to drift off.

"I promise. I'll stay with you," Elsa answered. "Always," she whispered once she knew Anna was asleep.

Elsa admired her sister again, marveling over how someone could look so broken yet so beautiful at the same time. She also wondered how Anna could have survived the torture Darce put her through. _He will pay, _she told herself. What she had planned for Darce…it wasn't pleasant. Anyone who harmed Anna would die, that was certain. But the way Darce had, Elsa was going to make him suffer until he was begging for his death. And even when that happened, she wouldn't give it to him. She was going to make him suffer for as long as he made Anna suffer.

Elsa shook those thoughts from her mind, telling herself to focus on that in a couple days. Now, she turned her thoughts to the strange feeling she got when she saw Anna in the tower. Relief, yes, that she had found her sister and that they could be together now. Happiness, yes, that her sister still wanted her back. But there was something else. Something Elsa didn't know how to explain. She'd never felt it before either, which was probably the reason why it frightened her so much.

It was a mix of nearly every emotion: happiness, fear, anger, sadness, guilt, relief, pain, joy…oh, the list went on and on. Elsa had scarcely felt any of these emotions anymore. The only time she felt anger and sadness was when she thought about what she did to Anna all those years ago and what she'd turned into. She only felt happiness and joy when she thought of the good memories she had with Anna. Elsa knew this much: she could only feel something with Anna.

The emotions running through her now as she looked down at the beautiful redhead before her were so pure and raw. And that's when Elsa realized what was happening to her. All these emotions attacking her at once were telling her one thing. She knew she loved Anna, that was obvious. They were sisters after all. But they'd been separated for so long Elsa didn't know how she would react to finally seeing her sister. And she definitely wasn't expecting this.

Elsa didn't believe in any of the things people said about love. It all seemed made up, like something out of a fairytale. But now she knew it was all true. She didn't know how she came to the conclusion so quickly, but it all made sense to her now. Everything that happened to her, all the feelings that rushed through her, it all clicked in Elsa's brain. And no matter how much she knew it was wrong and no matter how much she tried to push away these thoughts, she knew there was no escaping them. Because now, Elsa knew what she was feeling. Because now, for the first time in forever, Elsa believed in love at first sight, and she believed in true love.

And she hated herself for it.

* * *

**A/N: So finally, the reunion of Elsa and Anna! Probably not what you were expecting eh? Don't worry, Anna will get better and Darce will be punished (I have a wonderful idea for him...it involves torture and a lot of blood).**

**So already, the sisters fall in love with each other at first sight. I know...you're thinking "yayyyy, Elsanna" but I'm thinking "yayyyy, sexual tension and angst and not being able to share their true feelings." YAYYYY ;)**

**With school starting now after a long spring break :(, I figure I'll be updating about every week or two weeks, so just a heads up. **

**Dark!Elsa is still in play... I have something planned, and we'll have to wait a few chapters to find out what it is!**

**I encourage you to leave reviews on the story...I love reading what you guys have to say about this fic!**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	7. Words I Never Said

**A/N: So yeah, I will be updating either every week or every two weeks now. Sorry not sorry. Hope this is a good chapter! Stuff happens to Darce (and it'll only get worse for him!), Elsa and Anna have a talk, and the Elsanna feelings and frustration grow stronger! Happy reading!**

Chapter 7 - Words I Never Said

"_Searching to find myself, but all I find is you. I can hardly stand myself, so what am I to you?" – Every Night, by Imagine Dragons_

**Trigger warning: Mentions of a suicide attempt and depictions of torture.**

Anna opened her eyes slowly the next morning, and the first thing she saw was the beautiful young woman in front of her. _She must have finally fallen asleep at some point, _Anna thought. Elsa was still in the chair next to the bed, her head resting on the edge of the bed, and their hands still intertwined. Anna smiled when she saw Elsa's hand in her own, and she gently brushed her thumb over the back of Elsa's hand. Anna's eyes widened a little when she realized what she just did. _But wait…it wasn't supposed to be anything romantic. Was it? _She convinced herself that it was just a nice gesture, that they were sisters after all, and that it was perfectly normal.

"Anna?" Elsa stirred a bit before easing her eyes open to look at her sister. "How are you feeling?" Anna didn't even hear the question. She was too busy focusing on Elsa's deep, scratchy morning voice. _God, her voice is so…unf… Wait…stop it Anna, _she told herself. Thinking like _that _about Elsa was definitely _not _normal.

"Anna," Elsa said again.

"Huh?" _Great…now she probably thinks you're an idiot._

"I asked how you were feeling."

"Oh uh, much better…now that you're here." _Wow, what a cliché thing to say. You sound like you're straight out of a romance novel._

Elsa gave a small laugh in return, and unlike all the times she had laughed half-heartedly in the past, Elsa could hear the sincerity in this one.

"I mean, uh, yeah…I uh, feel a lot better. The doctor cleaned me up and stuff and uh, yeah, ummm…how are you?" Anna stumbled over her words a bit as she tried to act a little less awkward.

_Aw, she's adorable when she doesn't know what to say, _Elsa thought. _Wait, hold on…Elsa you can't think like this. She's your sister!_ Elsa and Anna spent a few more moments just looking into each other's eyes in a comfortable silence until Elsa finally remembered that she had been asked a question.

"I'm okay," she got out, forcing a smile to try and convince Anna.

The redhead just stared at her with an expression that told Elsa she knew she was lying.

"What's wrong?" Anna asked.

"That's a loaded question," Elsa answered. "But we'll have plenty of time for that later."

"But Elsa - ,"

"Anna please…I don't think you could handle some of the things I need to tell you."

"Fine. But I want to hear everything," Anna said, shooting Elsa a soft smile.

_Oh God…Anna stop it, _Elsa thought. Anna's smile was absolutely gorgeous, and Elsa could feel her heart melting at the sight. Her perfect white teeth, the way her eyes lit up, and her full, pink lips were all too much for Elsa. _Damn it Elsa! _She tried to get rid of the urge to lean forward and close the distance between their lips, but the desire was too strong for her. So instead, Elsa stood up and returned the smile before leaning over to press a soft kiss to Anna's forehead. _That's normal for sisters to do, right?_

"You're leaving?" Anna asked, reveling in the feel of her sister's lips on her skin.

"Not for long, I promise. Now tell me: How long did Darce keep you up there?"

"Probably four or five months. Why?"

"I'm going to pay him a visit now," Elsa said as she turned to leave.

"How long will you be gone? Wait, he's still alive? Where is he?"

"I told you, not that long. Probably an hour, not even. And yes he's alive and he's in the dungeon. Why, did you think I'd let him get away with what he did to you?" Elsa returned.

"I thought you would've killed him once you found out," Anna said.

"Oh no…killing him is too easy. I have something much better in mind. And when I get back, we can have the rest of the day to talk."

"You promise you'll tell me everything?"

"Yes Anna, I promise." With that, Elsa walked out of Anna's room, shutting the door gently behind her, before making her way towards the long corridor that would lead to the dungeon, her eyes turning to their bloodthirsty, murderous white blue color.

* * *

"Hello Darce," Elsa said as she rounded the corner to his cell. It was dark and musty since the dungeon hadn't been used for decades, and the only source of light was a few torches burning outside the cell and in the corners of it. The light illuminated Darce's face, and he looked tired and worn out, his eyes glazed over and his breathing heavy.

"Come to kill me huh?" he replied.

"No," Elsa hissed. "You kept my sister locked up for five months. Now, I'm going to do the same to you, and I promise it will be so much worse."

"How threatening." Darce sneered at Elsa before turning his back to her. His hands were chained to the wall in front of him, allowing him a small range of motion. The ice daggers had been removed, but the guards had not bothered to put any bandages on them, and small bits of torn muscle stuck out of the wounds in various places. His shirt had been removed, revealing the ugly injuries even more, and his skin was coated with dried blood. Elsa smirked at the sight.

"Trust me, by the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging for death," Elsa said as she conjured a small ice dagger in her hand. It had a tiny blade of only one inch, but there were tiny, razor sharp ridges on either side of it, and the tip was to the finest point so it could easily break through skin. "Now," Elsa continued, walking into Darce's cell and up to the man, "I'm going to start slowly. No, I don't want to hear you scream your apologies to Anna. No, I don't want you to beg for mercy."

"Then what's the point?" he shot back as Elsa rested the blade of the dagger against his right shoulder.

"I want you to scream in pain, and I want you to regret everything you ever did to Anna and to the people of Arendelle. It'll be slow pain at first though." Another wicked smirk came to Elsa's face as she dug the blade into his shoulder ever so slightly, and watched as the blood began to flow. Darce whimpered a little, which only pushed Elsa further. Slowly…tantalizingly slowly…she dragged the blade across the length of his shoulder, applying the smallest increase of pressure, but enough to make Darce cry out in pain. He let out another few gasps as he clenched his teeth when he saw the deep red blood flow out of his shoulder and down the length of his arm.

"Save your cries," Elsa told him. "I haven't even hit your bone yet." The realization of what Elsa was going to do very soon hit Darce like a stack of bricks. Elsa removed the dagger for a slight moment, and crafted another one that was now three inches in length. Darce had no time to prepare for the pain that was to come as Elsa rammed the dagger into his already cut shoulder, and he let out a loud, long scream of agony as he felt the blade piercing through his shoulder, tearing his muscle as it made its way through. The scream only grew louder as the blade reached his bone, the sick crunching sound following as it broke through, and soon he didn't have enough air in his lungs to scream for any longer. He fell to the ground, taking heavy breaths to try and steady himself while the blood continued to gush from his shoulder.

Elsa only smiled at his pain, and flicked her fingers a bit, trying to get some of the blood off, and in the process sent small specks of ice shooting from her fingertips. She looked down at her shirt, and was glad it was black as she saw specks of blood sink into it.

"You got blood on my shirt," she said flatly. Darce only let out a weak breath, which was visible due to the drop in temperature in the cell.

"Just…kill me," he said.

"Giving up that easily?" Elsa fired back. She pulled him by his hair so he was looking at her, and she saw how his eyes had darkened from the energy he released through his screams and from the amount of blood he lost. "You tortured my sister. You beat her. You whipped her. You raped her. For five months whenever you pleased…you put her through so much pain. For five months she had no one to help her, no one to rescue her. Well…now that I'm here, her pain will stop, and yours will start."

"You don't need…to do…this." His voice was still shaky, and now he looked like he was about to pass out.

"Really now? I'm surprised no one told you: You hurt me, and you die. But if you hurt my sister, well…let's just say your suffering will be ten times worse than death." Elsa let go of his hair, letting his head fall back down, allowing him to breathe a little easier. And with one swift, strong movement, she yanked the dagger out of his shoulder. Darce barely had enough energy and strength to scream as it was, but nonetheless he let out a piercing screech as he felt the blade rip from his bone and muscle. Elsa smiled as she saw a lone tear make its way down his cheek.

"Rest up. Tomorrow it'll be your other shoulder. And this is only the beginning," she said as she backed out of his cell, slamming the door and freezing it shut on her way out. _No one hurts Anna._

* * *

Elsa stopped into the kitchen on her way back to Anna's room to wash the blood off her hands, watching as the water began to turn slightly pink as it hit her skin, clearing the blood away. She dried her hands before pushing back her bangs, freezing them in place. As she turned the corner out of the kitchen, she slammed into an older woman, and once she took a step back she recognized the lady to be Gerda.

"Elsa?" she asked, looking intently at the girl standing before her.

"Hi Gerda," Elsa answered.

Elsa was a little surprised when Gerda enveloped her in a tight hug, which she returned after a few moments.

"Welcome home," Gerda said sincerely. "You look beautiful…and your hair!"

Elsa let out a small laugh as the woman admired her black hair woven into a braid. She really didn't have any idea how to respond, considering she never had an interaction like this with a person before. So she stood there awkwardly, until the thought of Anna entered her mind.

"Gerda, I need to get to my sister," Elsa said. "I'll see you around."

"Of course my dear," the older woman replied. She grabbed Elsa's arm, keeping her in place for another moment. "You know she missed you terribly all these years. Whenever I brought her food while Darce was keeping her in the tower, she always told me about how she was waiting for the day when you would come to rescue her."

Elsa smiled as she turned to leave, and for once in her life it was genuine, as she felt her heart swell yet shatter at the same time. She had to use all her strength to hold back her tears as she stood outside of Anna's room, and was a little overwhelmed by the sensation, seeing as she never cried during her time in the Southern Isles.

But the guilt of not being able to save her sister from this torture sooner wasn't as strong as the fear taking over Elsa. She always feared how Anna would react to her once she found out what she'd become and what she'd done. _Murderer, selfish, emotionless, depressed, cold…how could she still love me?_ _Oh...and I'm also madly in love with her…great. I'm such a good sister, _Elsa told herself as she took a few moments to steady her breathing.

She asked herself how badly this could go. She was just catching up with Anna anyway. But then another wave of fear overcame Elsa once she realized exactly _how _badly it could go. Anna would eventually have to tell her about how Darce violated her, and Elsa would eventually have to share how she became of cold-hearted murderer. _This should be wonderful. _Not to mention that Anna could already have someone she's in love with, which would break Elsa's heart. And then Elsa would have to tell her about Belle and all that good stuff. _Maybe she just won't ask, _she told herself. _Oh, what am I saying? Of course she will._ Elsa took another deep breath before opening the door to Anna's room.

"Hey," Anna said, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"How are you feeling?" Elsa returned, walking across the room before stopping a few feet from Anna's bed.

"Better. Still painful in certain areas. But the doctor came while you were gone and said I should be up to my full strength in about two weeks. My injuries really weren't as bad as I thought. The only one that hurts the most is…is…" Anna's words trailed off as tears came to her eyes.

_Great, look what you did you dumb fuck. You made her cry. _Elsa mentally punched herself for even bringing the subject up, but then realized that Anna would need to tell her sooner or later. And Elsa always preferred sooner.

"Anna look at me," Elsa said, her tone demanding and sharp. Anna's eyes darted to her sister's, and she was a little startled at first at how angry Elsa sounded. "You will be okay now," she continued. "Darce will pay severely for what he did to you. I don't want to force anything out of you now, but I think it would help if you talked to me about it."

"I know," Anna replied, stifling her cries. "I learned to cope with the whippings and beatings he gave me. But the way he just took advantage of me…" A tear escaped her eye, and before she even knew what she was doing, Elsa leaned over the edge of the bed, extending her arm so she could wipe away the tear just like Anna had done for her the previous night.

Anna's breath hitched in her throat at the contact, and she closed her eyes for a small moment and let out a content sigh. _Her hands are so soft. If only she would touch me everywh- wait, wait, wait…stop this Anna! _She opened her eyes, and found Elsa looking back at her, concern filling her blue eyes. The close proximity of their faces made Anna fight the ever growing urge to pull Elsa towards her and just kiss her senseless. But she couldn't do that. _Not now, not ever, _she thought. So instead, Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa's shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug, burying her face in the older girl's neck in the process. Elsa wasn't entirely sure what she should do at the moment, but she thought it logical to hug Anna back. She moved so she was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Anna sat up in response, never letting go of her sister. Elsa placed one arm around Anna's midsection, while the other unconsciously began to soothingly stroke the strawberry blonde hair.

Anna tried her best to choke down her cries and tears by finding comfort in the clean, crisp scent of her sister…something like winter. _Yup, Elsa smells like winter, _Anna thought. If winter even had a specific smell, and Anna told herself that it did. She drowned in Elsa's aroma, and Anna tilted her head slightly so her ear was pressed against Elsa's chest, and the younger girl instantly calmed as she listened to her sister's heartbeat.

"It's okay Anna," Elsa said softly. "I'm right here. I got you Anna. You'll be okay." It was all Elsa could manage to say, and quite frankly it was all Anna needed to hear.

"I missed you so much," Anna replied, pulling away slightly so her eyes could meet Elsa's. She smiled at her sister, and she saw Elsa try to give one in return, but she could see past the attempt. Anna saw her sister's blue eyes, now clouded and dark, and knew that something was wrong. "Elsa…are you…okay?" She knew the question was a loaded one. But nonetheless, however Elsa was going to answer it, she was sure she could handle the truth.

"Anna, I don't know if I can tell you everything."

"Why?"

"I just…I don't… You wouldn't love me if I did."

"Elsa, that's ridiculous, and I hope you know that. I will always love you. Okay, we were kept apart from each other for nearly ten years of our lives. So what? We'll talk about it. We'll share everything. And no matter how terrible something might be, I'll still love you." Anna spoke affectionately yet firmly to her sister, and Elsa nodded slightly before she decided she might as well just spill everything now.

"I've killed a lot of people Anna," she began. Anna trained her sight on her sister, her teal blue eyes darkening as she focused on what was being said. "Innocent men, women, children…I took away so many lives. I kill so easily now. It's like a piece of me that won't seem to go away. It's become who I am, and there's no changing it."

"What did Aeron do to you?" Anna asked quietly.

"He didn't do anything…only told me the truth."

"And that was…?"

"That our parents never loved me." The way Elsa said the word 'parents' sent chills down Anna's spine. It was so…so…so empty of any emotion.

"Elsa, you know that's not true. Of course they loved you," Anna said.

"No. They kept us apart for three years because of one stupid mistake I made. I couldn't even see you because they always feared I would hurt you again! They never gave me a chance to learn to control my powers. But Aeron gave me that chance."

Anna placed her hand over Elsa's, and the older girl calmed instantly. She could feel Elsa's pulse beneath her hand begin to slow down, and watched as her sister took a few deep breaths to steady herself. She wasn't sure what exactly Aeron said to Elsa, but it was certainly enough to make something snap.

"I'm sorry," Elsa said.

"Don't be. We're talking right? And emotions can get the better of us sometimes."

Elsa didn't want to point out just yet that she didn't have any emotions. At least…not affectionate or positive ones. She could only feel a constant anger at her parents, a constant guilt about how she hurt Anna, and a constant hate for herself.

"Yeah," Elsa gave back. "So…aside from me being a murderer, what else do you want to know?"

"Are you planning to stay here?" Anna needed to know. She wasn't sure how important Elsa had become in the Southern Isles, and she needed to make sure she wouldn't lose her big sister again.

"I am actually. There were…certain incidents back in the Southern Isles. They forced me to take the throne over there when I was only sixteen. But I can't stay there. Not when I have you now." _There you go, being a cliché fucking romantic. You're pathetic. _"I'm going to have my coronation, and then I have something planned. But for now I need to keep a healthy relationship with the Southern Isles. I don't think it would be all that great if I set out to war against them now, especially since I don't have an army ready and there are actually people I care about over there..." By now, Elsa was sort of rambling, which she never usually did. And Anna only found it extremely adorable. That was…adorable until Elsa let the name 'Belle' slip from her mouth.

"Belle?" Anna interrupted.

Elsa's eyes widened a little when she realized that now she'd have to explain all of _that _to Anna. _Shit. Fuck. You're a fucking idiot. _"Yeah, Belle…" Elsa started. "She's a friend. A pretty good friend actually."

"Ohhhh…" Anna dragged the word out before suggestively wagging her eyebrows at Elsa, trying to seem playful about this despite the instant jealousy that spread through her body. "Are you two together?"

"People say we are but…I don't consider us to be."

"But do you love her?" _Don't push it Anna. _She couldn't help it though, and she didn't know why she was jealous either. If Elsa was happy with someone, then that's all Anna should want for her. _But only if that someone is me. Wait…no, what? _

"I say I do. I know she loves me. But I can never bring myself to feel anything when I say the words to her," Elsa answered. "What about you?" _Okay, that was good. You avoided the whole 'fucking Belle senseless nearly every night' thing...that's good. Good job Elsa._

"What about me?"

"Anyone special in your life?" Elsa asked. She wanted to move on a little and not dwell on her emotionless being. She knew the subject would most likely come up again, and probably within the next few minutes, but Elsa needed to talk about something else, even if it was just for the moment.

"I mean…special as in meaning a lot to me then yeah. There's you of course, but my best friend Kristoff too. You should meet him!" Anna immediately lit up at the thought of introducing Kristoff to her sister. "But special as in love…not really. I mean, obviously I love you and Kristoff…but I'm not in love. At least I don't think I am."

"That's good. And I think we should wait a little bit before I meet your friend," Elsa replied, shooting Anna a small smile.

They fell into a comfortable silence, both girls thinking about far too many things to put into words. Elsa wanted to know if Anna really loved her, and if she would still love her once she told her the truly terrible things she did. _Murder is only half of it, _Elsa thought. She wondered if Anna would be able to handle knowing the truth. She also wondered how she'd be able to tell Anna about the fact that she doesn't have any memories of her ice powers. Sure, she discovered them again during that fateful day six years ago. But Pabbie had taken all of her memories of the magic away after Elsa had struck her. The good ones, the bad ones…there was nothing. Elsa imagined it would be hard to reacquaint Anna with her powers, especially if she knew how destructive they could be.

But aside from that, Elsa struggled to grasp the intense feelings that hit her whenever she thought about Anna or was near her sister for that matter. She thought back to the day before when she had found Anna in the tower. She focused mostly on how badly she was hurt, but beneath all the worry and concern there was the inevitable attraction she felt towards Anna from the moment she saw her. _This is wrong. We're sisters! I'm not supposed to feel this way about her! _Elsa kept replaying the whole incident in her mind, wondering how this was even possible. She knew Anna would never love her back in that way, and if she ever found out…well then Elsa would lose her sister yet again.

Anna, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to kiss Elsa right now. Quite frankly that's all she was thinking about. Elsa hadn't noticed her eyes dart to her lips multiple times in the last minute or so. But Anna couldn't help it. She knew she shouldn't be thinking this way about her sister. But Elsa was just so beautiful and gorgeous and well...sexy. There was also this mysterious, intriguing side to Elsa that Anna had yet to discover. Yes, so Elsa had admitted to her that she had killed a lot of people. But there was something Elsa was leaving out, and Anna didn't want to find out on her own.

She always heard stories about an "Ice Queen" who murdered simply because she could. But she refused to believe it was Elsa. She only found out about her sister's ice powers before they were separated, but she couldn't imagine Elsa taking someone's life just because she felt like it. She knew she was being used, and that the Southern Isles were at war with multiple countries a few years ago. So of course Elsa would be forced to kill then. But now...

"Elsa," Anna started, finally breaking the silence, "is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That you kill people because you can."

Elsa wasn't expecting something like this right now, and she didn't really want to admit it. But she had to. She promised Anna she would be honest with her.

"Yes," Elsa answered, defeat laced throughout her voice. "Anna, I don't know how - ,"

"It's okay," Anna said. "So I'm assuming the stories are also true that you use your ice powers to destroy countries?"

"I used to. The last couple years have been relatively peaceful, and I have been trying to keep my powers at bay. But sometimes it's so hard. Anna you have no idea. I thought Aeron cared about me and truly wanted me to be able to control this. But I've figured out he was only using me for his own selfish desires and in the process turned me into this monster, this killing machine."

"But you can control them," Anna pointed out, taking Elsa's hands in her own. "I'm not freezing to solid ice right now so I guess that's a good thing." Anna was trying to lighten the mood, and Elsa saw the effort, so she gave a weak smile in return. "And I also know that there's something you're keeping from me. It's not about all the killing you've done, it's not about Belle, and it's not necessarily about you…so I'm taking that it has something to do with me?"

"How do you know that?"

"I can see it in your eyes Elsa. They used to be so bright and filled with life. But now, they're dark and sad…almost depressed." It was then that Anna really started worrying. She knew Elsa had suffered with depression all her life, and she tried desperately to push the memories of that night from her mind. She would never be able to get rid of the images of Elsa lying on her bedroom floor, bleeding out from both her wrists, knowing there was nothing she could do to help her.

"You're thinking about it Anna," Elsa said.

"Yeah."

"It's okay. I think about it a lot too. Not now, but later, I'll tell you why I did it. It will be hard for you to understand, and I want you to know now that I won't have all the answers for you."

"But Elsa…what were you thinking when you did it? Did you even consider how I would react if you had died that night?"

"No…and I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing to me Elsa!" Anna cried, tears streaming down her face again. "I don't know what happened when we were younger. I'm not sure what you did, but whatever it was just stop apologizing for it, okay? You don't have to worry about how I'll react to it because I will forgive you and I will still love you. Nothing will change that!"

"If only it were that simple…" Elsa couldn't imagine that Anna knew what she was really saying. _If she knew you almost killed her…she'd be afraid of you. _

"Elsa, look at me." Anna locked her eyes with her sister's, and noticed the darkening in their color. "It is that simple. I'm your sister. I love you. I will always forgive you and accept you. Oh…and _I love you._ Can you say those three words to me and mean it?"

"Anna, you're the only person I feel anything with. And this will sound crazy, but you have no idea of what I've become. I'm not lying to you when I say I have no emotions at all."

"But you just said you feel something with me…so that means you do."

"No…I don't feel anything. Nothing! Anna, I murder innocent people and enjoy it! Their suffering gives me pleasure, and when they cry or beg for mercy it makes me angry to the point where I kill them just to shut them up! Anna, you have no idea of the monster I've become. People are terrified of me!" Elsa was conflicted. She desperately wanted to run away and hide forever where no one could find her. If she were away from people then she couldn't hurt any more of them. But, she also wanted to find comfort in Anna and never let go of her.

Elsa could feel the frustration well up inside her, and knew she needed to let some of it out. She didn't want to frighten Anna or make her feel like she wasn't safe, but she couldn't help it. With a swipe of her arm, Elsa sent multiple small icicles shooting from her hands and into the floor. She immediately regretted it, but when she looked back at Anna she only saw a look of wonder on her face.

"It's amazing," her sister said.

"I'm sorry…what?"

"Your powers. What you just did. It's amazing."

"Wait…I don't think I'm understanding you correctly," Elsa said.

"You heard me just fine Els. Your powers…they're brilliant."

"They're not as good as you think they are. Anna, I murder people with them!" Elsa drew her arms across her stomach, a sign to Anna that she was closing in on herself and retreating back behind the walls she had put around her heart.

"It doesn't mean you still can't use them for something good. Elsa, you need to know that the people here are willing to accept you as their Queen. You haven't done anything to harm them…at least I don't think you have, and I'm sure you'd be a great ruler. You managed to bring peace to the surrounding kingdoms in only a few years. You just need to learn what good is again."

"How can someone with no emotions, someone who murders out of fun be good?"

"Because they don't shut themselves away from the person who loves them unconditionally and they don't hate themselves every waking minute and they're willing to let that person who loves them help them rediscover the goodness in their heart," Anna answered. And before either of them even knew what happened, Anna leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Elsa's cheek.

"But I don't have a heart," Elsa said weakly, trying not to think about the electricity that pulsed through her at the touch of Anna's lips on her skin.

Anna took their hands, still intertwined, and held them over Elsa's chest. Elsa felt the steady pulsing of her blood through her veins, and looked up to find Anna's eyes searching her own. She knew what her sister saw. She saw all the pain and guilt hidden there. All her demons that were controlling her, making her this monster she was and oh how desperately she wanted to escape it.

"Feel that?" Anna asked after a few moments. "That's your heart beating. It's there, and it's working. You still have a heart Elsa. You always will."

"Then explain why I don't feel anything…why I _can't _feel anything for anyone but you. What happened to me Anna? I've been trying to figure it out for four years now, and I still don't even know where to begin."

"Something happened when we were younger, and you've never forgiven yourself for it yet, and you probably never will. You've feared your powers and yourself ever since. Aeron took you and used our parents and society against you. You always thought that people would think of you as a monster, and Aeron put that idea in your head that they did, and you believed it. That's all I've picked up on. But Elsa, something snapped in you. I can't explain it to you now, but something happened."

"But Anna, you're not getting the point. I literally cannot register a single emotion with anyone but you." And then, in that moment, it all made sense to Elsa. "Oh my God…"

"Elsa, what is it?"

"Look, I know Aeron manipulated me and used me…but he was right about one thing: Our parents had it all wrong with me. Don't you see Anna? They told me to 'conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show.' That's ridiculous! Every time I told myself to conceal, it only grew stronger. I couldn't conceal something that was made to be known, that was made to be seen, to be used! Every time I told myself to not let it show, it only surfaced even more."

Elsa closed her eyes for a brief moment, and thought back to the first time she felt absolutely empty: When she watched her father killed by Aeron right in front of her. It made sense, all the pieces were put together. She knew why she never had any emotions from that point on, and she mentally punched herself for not seeing it sooner.

"Anna," she started again, looking deep into her sisters' eyes, "they told me not to feel. Does that mean anything?"

"They didn't want you to feel so then your powers wouldn't surface?" Anna said skeptically.

"Exactly. But you see, my powers are almost always more influenced by my emotions. They would always surface stronger if I was angry or upset. In fact, there was always an outburst of snow or ice whenever anything remotely related to any emotion coursed through me. First I tried to conceal it and not let it show. That didn't work. So then, I kept telling myself to 'not feel', and disregarded any emotion that ran through me. It was tough, but now that I think about it…it makes sense. Anna, you were right when you said that something in me just snapped, and I don't think I'll ever really know what it was exactly that brought about the change."

Elsa paused for a moment, a small smile plastering itself on her face as the sudden relief of figuring this out hit her. After all these years she finally knew. It couldn't explain everything, but at least it cleared some things up for her. She was convinced she had always really been this way, and this inner beast inside her was just waiting to come out. She was also convinced that this whole thing had something to do with it…this whole 'don't feel' thing.

"To suppress my powers I couldn't have any feelings or emotions. I couldn't have any of that. Not feeling wouldn't trigger something dangerous," Elsa continued. "I kept telling myself not to feel…and I guess eventually I just didn't."

"So you'll learn how to feel again," Anna said.

"I don't think it's that simple. Anna, you can't teach someone to have emotions. They either do or they don't."

"But you keep telling yourself that you don't. You obviously do if you can feel something for me. You care about me, you want to protect me. Hell, you cried yesterday! Elsa, you say you aren't a human being, and instead that you're some sort of monster. That's not true," Anna replied.

"How do you know that?"

"You're my sister. We may have been separated for a long time but I still know you pretty damn well. And yes, I know you still have emotions. But like you said, you've done such a good job of hiding them that you even convinced yourself you don't have any. And I'll promise you this and I'll say it until you're sick of hearing it: I will always accept you and forgive you Elsa. You don't have to worry about losing me anymore."

Elsa was completely overwhelmed with Anna's words to her. She didn't know how to react to them, and more importantly she didn't even know how to process them. She never loved someone so much, and hearing Anna say those things to her…it brought her so much relief and true, real happiness that it almost frightened her.

"Anna…I…" Elsa couldn't get the words out, and instead leaned forward into her sister, resting her head on Anna's shoulder. The younger girl took Elsa in her arms and held her as she cried. Elsa didn't even know what was happening to her right now. She hadn't experienced anything like this for as long as she could remember. She wanted desperately to tell Anna she loved her, but was too afraid she would feel nothing behind the words if she said them out loud. She couldn't risk that. Anna meant too much to Elsa to be subject to any false feelings.

_No, these feelings are real, _Elsa told herself. These emotions were so intense for Elsa. They were too much for her to handle all at once. She knew she loved Anna. Hell, she knew she was in love with Anna. But she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.

Elsa lifted her head, and her eyes bore into Anna's, conveying everything she couldn't put into words. How expressive her eyes were that Anna understood everything Elsa was trying to tell her. And what it was brought tears to Anna's eyes as well.

_I hurt you Anna. When we were younger, I hurt you really badly. It was a terrible night. The night our parents became afraid of me. The night I began to hate myself. God…Anna I hurt you so badly. I'll never forgive myself. You need to help me. Help me to let it go. Anna, I need you. And now I have you. With me. Always with me. And I'll never let you go. _

_ I love you Anna._

* * *

**A/N: Awwww Elsanna is just so adorable right? Don't worry, there will be plenty more angst and frustration where that came from.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I really enjoyed writing this chapter simply because we have some more character development with Elsa. Don't worry, there will be more Dark!Elsa later on, but now I'm going to focus on Elsa and Anna rebuilding their lives together and whatnot...we will have Elsanna very soon ;)**

**Any reviews are appreciated...constructive criticism is always welcomed!**

**Thanks for all the favorites and follows so early on! You guys are the best.**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	8. Drunk In Love

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this update. Not a lot of action but...Elsanna feels yay! **

**Trigger warning: Hints of depression as well as depictions of self-harm in the character of Elsa.**

**Warning for the rest of the fic: There will be a lot of dark themes as this story progresses such as self-harm, torture, rape, etc... So, if you are easily triggered...this is a heads up.**

Chapter 8 – Drunk In Love

"_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide." – Demons, by Imagine Dragons_

**The next day**

Anna woke the next morning to find Elsa sitting in the chair beside her bed again. She was turned away, and Anna could just slightly see her sister making tiny snow creations in her hands. A flower, a dragon, a snowman. She could have sworn the snowman looked oddly familiar to her, but she wasn't entirely sure. It brought a smile to Anna's face though, seeing her sister relaxed and using her powers for something that wasn't destructive. According to Elsa, she didn't know how to use them for good anymore…only for killing and destroying. But now, in this small moment, Anna saw that that wasn't true.

She sat up in bed, sighing in content as she felt a few of her joints pop. Elsa turned around in the chair to face her, draping her arms over the back of it in the process, and a lopsided grin came to her face when she saw her sister's disheveled state. Her hair was an absolute mess as it stuck out at random places, having absolutely no form to it at all. It was just one huge mane, and Elsa had to bring a hand to her mouth to try and stifle a laugh at the sight. She still looked insanely adorable though.

Elsa herself hadn't gotten any sleep the previous night. She was up thinking about their conversation, wondering if Anna was telling her the truth when she said she would always forgive her. It was a hard concept for her to grasp, because she knew there were so many families out there who would never forgive her for what she did to them. She ruined so many lives over the last few years… She didn't deserve forgiveness.

"Elsa, you can't sleep in a chair every night," Anna said, yawning in the process.

"I can't go back to my room yet," she answered. "So it'll have to do for now."

"You could always sleep with me," Anna gave back. Elsa raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a look telling her to think about what she said. "Oh…okay, well…not like that! You would be the one to take it in that way. But I mean, if we're being honest…okay, never mind. I meant like when we were younger. If I had a nightmare or something you'd just…hold me and help me fall asleep."

"Ah…" Elsa struggled to find words considering Anna's previous comment had her a little flustered. Yes, she would love to try and reestablish some of the things from their childhood together (if there ever really was one). But her, in the same bed with Anna, knowing the ever growing feelings she had for her, probably wasn't the best idea right now. "I'll think about it. But if _I _have a nightmare I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. I know you won't. And I meant to tell you that you look different…it's a good different though!"

_Well that was random, _Elsa thought.

"You look…just…wow, Elsa. Really," Anna continued, tripping over her words. "And where'd you get your clothes from?" she asked when she realized Elsa had actually changed her clothes. She had on grey, worn out looking pants instead of black ones, and a plain, long-sleeved, button down sky blue shirt with a few small tears along the sleeves. Her raven black hair was still in its braid, and as much as Anna hated thinking about it, Elsa looked ridiculously attractive. _It should be illegal for someone to be as perfect as her, _she thought.

Elsa continued to look at Anna, taking in the oh so adorable sight of her sister in the morning. _She's so cute… Shit Elsa you need to stop this._

"Well, I certainly don't wear the same thing every day," Elsa said, sarcasm dripping in her voice. Anna gave her an unamused look that said '_Are you fucking kidding me?'_, and Elsa only laughed. "I brought some of my things off of my ship last night after you fell asleep."

"Oh okay. Well, you look really uh…good. Yeah, blue looks nice on you," Anna replied, a goofy smile spreading on her face when her sister's eyes met her own.

"Thanks." Elsa felt so normal with Anna right now, so free, so…happy. She had never experienced this before, and she felt a little guilty knowing that she was about to pay a visit to Darce. Anna had said multiple times to her that she would be able to do good things with her powers again. Elsa knew how hard it would be for her to believe that, because once she steps foot outside of Anna's room she would become the same cold-blooded murderer she was turned into those years ago.

"You're thinking about something," Anna said.

"Yeah…" Elsa let out a long sigh before continuing. "Remember how you told me I could learn to use my powers for good things again?"

"Yeah why?"

"It's not as simple as it seems. I still have Darce, and I know you want him dead just as much as I do…but there's a difference between how we want that to happen. Anna, you just want him to die…end of story. But I want him to suffer," Elsa explained.

"I'm not stopping you," Anna replied. "For all I care he deserves what you're doing to him."

"But that's not the point. Anna, I need you to get it through your head that I have come to almost enjoy hurting people! I don't care about them. I don't feel any sympathy for them or guilt about what I do to them. The only person I ever felt guilty about hurting wa- ," Elsa caught herself before she said Anna's name. _I can't confuse her like that. She doesn't even remember…_

"Was whom?"

"Never mind. I really need to go…I believe Darce is expecting me," Elsa said, signaling the end of their discussion as she stood up from the chair.

Anna knew Elsa was keeping something from her. She could see the pain fill Elsa's eyes before she cut her own words off, and she made a mental note to bring it up again, no matter how much she knew Elsa would protest. If they were going to get their relationship back to normal, Anna needed to know everything. And the first step to doing that was to trust each other. They needed that. Anna could only think about how little Elsa trusted anyone. She had always been like that, with walls of ice around her heart, fearful of letting anyone in out of fear of getting hurt.

She didn't have that much to tell Elsa anyway. After Elsa was taken she cried almost every day. She was lucky she had Kristoff to help her out. He was always there for her. But then she didn't see him for the five months Darce kept her in the tower. _He doesn't even know Elsa's here, _she thought. She made another mental note to have one of the castle guards notify Kristoff so he could visit her.

But no matter how hard she tried, Anna couldn't get the sight of Elsa's eyes out of her mind. The way they looked when she began to say she felt guilty about hurting someone. They were so sad, so depressed, so dark. And whatever it was, Anna knew Elsa couldn't keep her pain pent up inside her for much longer. She needed to talk. She needed to get this out, or else it would destroy her. And no matter how terrible it might be, Anna promised herself that she would forgive Elsa. _Because chances are, I probably already have, _she told herself. _And also because I love her._

* * *

"How are you today Darce?" Elsa asked as she neared his cell.

"Kill me," was his reply.

"It's only been one day. I'm sure I can have a lot more fun with you before that happens," she said, opening the cell door. Her eyes were already their white-blue color, and the temperature dropped the instant she entered the cell.

Elsa had no idea what was fueling her rage right now. Yes, of course, the fact that Darce had raped and abused Anna…but that wasn't all. Elsa was trying desperately to feel some sort of emotion. Feel some sort of guilt for hurting this man. Some sort of regret for holding him here, because both of them knew what was going to happen once Elsa was done torturing him.

"So…my other shoulder now?" he asked.

"I was thinking about it. But I kind of need to take my anger out, and one blow to your shoulder simply won't do," she answered.

Before he could make another smart comment back to her, Elsa threw a hard punch straight into his jaw. Darce gasped in pain, and Elsa shook her right hand a little to get rid of some of the ache from the contact. Then she landed another blow to the other side of his face, and smiled in satisfaction when she saw the blood begin to leak from his mouth.

_Feel something Elsa, _she told herself as she landed an uppercut. _Come on…feel badly about hurting him. _Another blow, this time to the center of his face, and both of them heard the cracking sound as his nose broke. _Damn it Elsa. Feel guilty! _This time a swift kick to his stomach. _Feel something…anything! _Several more punches to his face. _You're a monster. _That sent Elsa over the edge, as she again lost the war that continually raged on inside her. Out of anger, frustration, and self-hate, Elsa pulled Darce's head downward as she brought her knee up, colliding it with the center of his face. The cracking sound of his nose yet again followed as well as Darce falling to the ground on his back, his entire face coated in blood and his breaths coming out short and jagged.

Elsa turned away from Darce for a moment, slamming her fists against the stone wall of the cell, sending icy blasts of frost shooting across the wall. _I hate myself, _she thought.

Darce let out a grunt from his position of the ground. Elsa wasn't aware she had voiced her thought, and she was even more unaware that Darce had heard it. The man hated Elsa for what she was doing to him. But, he knew this wasn't who she really was. He was well aware of what Aeron had turned her into. He knew Elsa didn't want to be this way.

"I'm…s…ry." He tried to say 'I'm sorry,' but he was too weak to muster up enough strength at the moment to sit up let alone speak clearly.

"What was that?" Elsa turned to him, her eyes darkening ever so slightly as they returned to their natural sky blue color.

Darce took a long, deep breath before trying once again to communicate. "I'm…sor-sorry," he got out.

"For what?"

"You…h-hate…yourself." He used all his strength to push himself up against the wall so he could make eye contact with Elsa. He barely made it into a sitting position before his arms failed him and he collapsed to the ground again.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," Elsa replied. "It's not like it matters though." She saw him struggling, and she surprised Darce and herself when she went over to him, looping her arms under his shoulders, dragging him upwards to lean him against the wall. In the process, Darce let out a long scream of pain as the discomfort in his shoulder returned. He had tried not to focus on the constant pain shooting like daggers through his whole arm. Even though it was only a day since he had his entire shoulder mangled by Elsa, he put aside his suffering to focus on some of the things Elsa had muttered as she tortured him.

Of course, he wasn't able to make out everything, but he understood the gist of it. Things like 'Never be loved', 'This is wrong', and 'How could this happen' led him to believe that Elsa was, in fact, in love with someone. With whom, he thought he'd never know. But whoever it was, Elsa obviously thought they wouldn't love her back and that it would never work out.

Darce felt a pang of sympathy for the girl, realizing that they had this one thing in common. Okay, he had never been in love with anyone, but that's beside the point. However, he _did _have people he loved taken away from him. He knew what it was like to be heartbroken, to be lost, to drown in a sea of guilt. He had blamed himself for his mother's death, and he knew he'd never learn to forgive himself. So right now, Darce knew what Elsa was going through. But that's where their similarities ended.

Darce could register emotions. Elsa could not. And that made all the difference in the world.

"W-who?" Darce asked.

"What are you talking about?" Elsa replied, letting out a long sigh.

"You…lo-love someone." Darce could barely feel his entire face right now, and talking to Elsa was really draining his energy. But nonetheless, he pushed through the pain.

"And why do you care?" she shot back. "What do you know about love anyway?"

Darce tried to smirk, laughing internally, but instead looked like he was grimacing in pain. "More than…you."

Elsa cocked her head in his direction and gave him a quizzical look. "I find it hard to imagine you loving anyone but yourself," she said.

"You'd be su-surpri…surprised."

She knelt down in front of him, and took his chin in her hand, tilting his face so their eyes could meet. She could see the truth resonating in his eyes, and she could only imagine what he must have gone through for all this pain to be inside him. She saw how they were alike in this aspect. They were both hurt and plagued by a terror they would never get over. But Elsa didn't care about him, not after what he did to Anna.

"Well Darce," she started, "I think we should have a little chat. I'll give you a couple days to rest up and gain some strength to talk. And then, oh I don't know, we should sit down and have some drinks with each other. What do you think?" A small grin from the bloodied man gave her the confirmation she needed. "Great. I'll see you soon then."

* * *

Elsa spent the rest of the day doing nothing in particular. She was avoiding Anna's room for a reason. She felt badly for it, but she had told her sister she needed to take care of things regarding the Southern Isles. It was, more or less, half of the truth.

Silas was helping her plan for something. Neither of them was sure what it was yet. Elsa had mentioned she wanted to get revenge on the Southern Isles and destroy the kingdom, establishing the same kind of harsh rule Aeron had made her do to all the other countries they captured. However, this kind of thing would take a while to coordinate, and Elsa couldn't declare war when she wasn't even Queen of Arendelle yet. Silas agreed: They should wait until her coronation and gain trust from the people. It would make it easier for them in the long run. And, Elsa needed time to form stronger alliances with surrounding kingdoms, although she was sure she wouldn't have any trouble getting them to fight with her. So many people wanted the end of the Southern Isles.

That whole ordeal only took a few hours though, which left Elsa the rest of the day to think. Think about how she was going to tell Anna that she hurt her. She needed to get it off her chest. She knew that much. But Elsa didn't want to risk Anna fearing her…fearing that she might hurt her again. She told herself that wouldn't happen and that she loved Anna.

_You're in love with her you monster, _she said as she made her way into the kitchen. _Sisters don't fall in love with each other. Christ you're disgusting. _Elsa began furiously opening random cabinets and drawers, and she completely forgot what she was looking for until she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

"Elsa, are you okay?" Gerda asked, walking next to the black haired girl who still had blood staining her knuckles.

"Yeah. Where's the liquor? Something strong like whiskey or vodka would be preferable."

"My dear, I don't think that's a good decision."

"I need it," Elsa said. "I just need to clear my head right now."

Gerda saw the pleading look in Elsa's deep blue eyes, but she was wary of Elsa's intentions right now. She was nineteen, so her judgment could be clouded to begin with. God knew what alcohol would do to her. But she knew that if she didn't tell Elsa, the girl would rummage through anything until she found it.

"Top right cabinet in the right corner," Gerda said. Elsa quickly turned around, opening the cabinet to grab a random bottle.

"Vodka?" Elsa asked, looking at the clear liquid in the bottle.

"Some of the strongest," Gerda answered. "Elsa, are you planning to get drunk?"

"Not sure," she said, opening the bottle to take a swig straight from it. The taste was strong, and had a tinge of citrus flavor to it. Elsa felt the liquid burn a trail down her throat, and she relished in the taste before taking another sip. She had developed a pretty strong tolerance to alcohol over the years, considering she drank often back in the Southern Isles to relieve some of her stress. But this vodka…Gerda was right when she said it was strong. Elsa barely had three sips down and she already felt the alcohol clouding her brain.

"If you want me to take you back to your room, I can," Gerda said.

"No. I can't go in there yet," Elsa answered as she brought the bottle to her lips for the fourth time now. "Give me a couple days. Just take me to the nearest bedroom that isn't Anna's."

Gerda gave Elsa a puzzled look, knowing that the sisters were trying to get their relationship back. "Why don't you want to go back to Anna?"

Elsa took another swig of vodka before responding. "I can't right now. I'm trying to get my feelings straightened out."

"Come on dear. I'll take you to the guest chambers."

Gerda lead Elsa through the hallways, looking behind her every so often to see if Elsa was stumbling yet from the alcohol. Surprisingly, Elsa didn't even give the slightest air of drunkenness right now.

Gerda stopped in front of the guest bedroom door and waited for Elsa to catch up to her. No doubt there was something on the girl's mind, her eyes dark and brows furrowed as she took a gulp of alcohol, nearing the halfway point of the bottle now.

_I'm gonna regret this in the morning, _Elsa thought as Gerda led her into the bedroom and over to the bed.

"Hey Gerda," Elsa began, slurring her words slightly, "what does it feel like when you're in love?"

"May I ask why you want to know this?"

"Cuse I don't know…and I think I might be."

"Well first thing is first dear. Describe this person to me."

"She's perfect," Elsa said. "Honestly, everything about her is just flawless. I haven't found one thing that's not."

"What's her personality like?" Gerda asked.

"From what I remember and from what I've seen so far… Caring, compassionate, funny…and awkward. God, she's really awkward," Elsa replied, laughing to herself at the thought of Anna stumbling over her words, rambling, and spitting out random phrases she usually doesn't realize she says until after they're said.

"What does she look like?" Gerda wasn't really surprised with Elsa's revelation that she was in love with another girl. She had been told that Elsa chose not to marry when she was in the Southern Isles even after she was approached by a number of suitors, so she figured something like this was plausible.

"She's gorgeous," Elsa said, until she realized Gerda was looking at her expectantly, wanting her to go on. "Blue eyes…kind of like a teal color. God, they're so beautiful. I could get lost in them forever. And her hair…such a flawless strawberry blonde. She still has the white streak in it from the time…" Elsa stopped herself suddenly before she went on. Even in her drunken state, she still felt the clenching of her heart at the memory of that fateful night she hurt Anna.

Gerda knew Elsa wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, but she still couldn't get the thought of this shocking revelation out of her mind. Elsa was in love with Anna? She couldn't make any sense of it. They were sisters! It all puzzled Gerda. She knew how people would react if they found out their future queen wouldn't want to marry because she was in love with her sister. Yet, Gerda couldn't bring herself to think anything was wrong about it. The sisters had been separated for so long. They didn't even have a childhood with each other. It was love, and Elsa was certainly falling for Anna.

"When did you realize you were in love with Anna?" Gerda asked.

Elsa was somewhat surprised the woman knew who she was talking about. But then again, it was probably obvious considering Gerda took care of Anna as she grew up. Elsa paid no mind to it though, and instead tried to focus on the question even though her brain was becoming cloudier by the second.

"From the moment I saw her after I found her in the tower," she answered. "She was so broken yet so beautiful. I knew it was wrong…but what I felt was so _right_. Gerda, I've never felt like this before."

"It's all new for you my dear."

"But she doesn't love me like that. She _can't _love me like that."

"You never know," Gerda said softly. "But you realize that you'll have to tell her soon. You can't keep these feelings stored inside you for too long, or you might say or do something you'll regret."

"I just don't want to lose her," Elsa replied.

"You'll figure something out." With that, Gerda pulled the covers over Elsa before turning to leave. She vowed to herself not to bring this up for a while. She figured Elsa would want to talk again when she was sober and could actually keep track of her thoughts. But for now, she'd have to wait. She wanted Elsa to know that her feelings for Anna weren't bad. It was natural to fall in love. But she also needed to know the danger of her feelings. Many people wouldn't be welcoming to this, and Elsa's feelings needed to be kept secret for as long as possible.

Once Gerda left the room, Elsa got out of the bed and grabbed the liquor bottle as she headed over to the seat by the windowsill. _The sky's awake, so I'm awake, _she thought, smiling to herself as she pictured all those nights Anna would say that to her.

But then the bad memories hit Elsa like a collision with an ox. Her breathing hitched as she remembered that night. _Anna said those words to me that night. _She brought the bottle down from her lips, and noticed that it was almost empty.

In a fit of rage, Elsa slammed the bottle onto the ground, causing it to shatter. Her breathing became jagged as she struggled to keep her anger at bay. She was drunk and in a state of self-hate, and this certainly wouldn't end well.

Without thinking, Elsa conjured a blade of ice in her hand. She couldn't take it anymore. She had kept all this guilt and anger pent up for so long. She had hurt Anna. She almost killed her sister. All these years she had taken that anger out on the people she murdered. But it was never enough. No matter how hard Elsa tried, she could never escape the demons inside her that ate away at her heart, constantly reminding her of the pain she caused her sister.

_But she doesn't even remember anything! _Elsa was at war with herself again, as she struggled to push away the demons that were destroying her, but to no avail. They were always there. She tried to get out of her thoughts, but she was trapped. _Not only did I hurt her, but I'm in love with her! You're nothing but an incestuous monster. _

She hadn't done it for a long, long time, but now was the only way she could cope with this. _No one else deserves to hurt but me, _she said as she held the blade against her arm. For a second, she contemplated trying her wrists again, but convinced herself not to. She had Anna now. And though they could never be together, they could still have a life together. She just couldn't ruin it by doing something stupid. _I'm sorry Anna._

And then, Elsa snapped. The temperature in the room dropped significantly as snow began to fall onto the floor. Icicles began jutting out of the walls and floor, and Elsa couldn't hold back.

She furiously swiped the blade across her skin, and then everything stilled. The icicles stopped growing and the snowflakes became suspended in midair as Elsa just stood there, blood dripping from her arm onto the floor. And before she knew what she was doing, she took the blade to her arm again…and again, and again, and again, until she flung the shard of ice away and fell to her knees. The floor froze over where she landed, and the frost continued to spread all over the room.

And Elsa cried.

"I'm sorry Anna," she said softly. "I'm so sorry." She paid no mind to the blood that still flowed from her arm, eventually spilling out onto the floor, staining the ice red.

Elsa knew she'd have to explain all of this tomorrow to her sister. And worse, she knew Gerda was right. She couldn't keep her feelings from Anna forever. Elsa had the strange feeling she would end up doing something very soon that would tell Anna she was in love with her. But she knew that until Anna told her if she felt the same way or not, she would continue to drink every night to take her mind off of this.

Elsa never felt this before: Love. And she didn't know how to react to it either. _Why did this have to happen? _She could have fallen for anyone else. She could have fallen for Belle. _No, it just had to be my sister! _Elsa was trying to deny it. She was trying to get rid of the thoughts that filled her mind. She barely knew Anna. They had just been reunited not even two days ago yet Elsa felt so genuinely happy and complete when she was with Anna.

A sudden wave of dizziness came over Elsa as she realized just how much blood she had lost. She was too drunk to stand back up, and quite frankly, she didn't care either. So, she very gingerly (and painfully), took her shirt off and wrapped it around her arm to suppress and soak up the blood. She instantly regretted her decision to do this. But she was drunk, and she had every reason to do it too. She couldn't let herself get away with hurting Anna like she did. If she didn't take out at least some of her anger, then it would destroy her. But still, she didn't want to face Anna tomorrow. She didn't know how she would react to this.

_I'm so sorry Anna. I love you._

* * *

To say Anna was worried about Elsa was an understatement. She was absolutely panicked. When Gerda had told her Elsa was in the guest chambers, she nearly bolted out of her room to go to her sister. Although, she still didn't have the strength for that. So she was stuck in her bed, worried sick over Elsa. Her wanting to be alone tonight couldn't be a good thing, and Anna could only hope Elsa hadn't hurt herself.

Also, Anna didn't know how much longer she could keep her feelings suppressed. She desperately wanted to run up to Elsa and tell her she loved her, tell her she wanted nothing more but for them to be together. But that could never happen, and Anna knew it. But she couldn't deny the fact that she was in love with Elsa. She was afraid though…what if Elsa didn't love her back?

Elsa had told her about how she couldn't feel any emotions. But then she said she still felt something with her. It was strange, but it still showed that Elsa was wrong about herself. She had emotions, she had a heart, and she had a soul. And Anna just needed to make Elsa realize it.

There were no thoughts of doubt on Anna's part about this. She wasn't trying to deny the fact that she was in love with her sister. She knew people would think it was wrong, but she could care less. She was sure it was true love. Originally, she thought she was falling for Kristoff. He was the perfect friend to her, and she knew he wanted to be something more. But even through some of his romantic gestures, Anna couldn't find it in herself to reciprocate those feelings.

And then Elsa showed up. She rescued her from that tower. She became Anna's knight in shining armor, her rescuer, her hero. Anna disregarded all the stories she heard about Elsa, even though her sister confirmed that they were true. The ones saying she was ruthless. The ones saying she was emotionless. The ones saying she was a 'Snow Queen' and that later became 'Ice Queen' because of the emotionless mask Elsa always wore. And the worst stories to Anna: The ones that called her a murderer. Anna hated thinking that Elsa could be something like that, and it devastated her when her sister told her it was true.

Elsa was definitely a cold person, but only because she had never known what love was like. Anna saw that Elsa could change for the better. She wasn't ashamed of her feelings for Elsa. She just wanted her to come out of this dark phase she was in. She knew it wasn't permanent. She knew this wasn't the Elsa she knew when she was younger. It wasn't _her _Elsa.

Anna had fallen in love with her sister the moment she saw her burst through the door of the tower. Now, it was only a matter of getting to know Elsa again, and helping to heal her already broken heart and soul. And through this, Anna was sure she would fall in love with Elsa all over again.

_My Prince Charming is the Ice Queen, _she thought to herself as she tried to fall asleep. _I love you Elsa._

* * *

**A/N: Ahhhh lovely Elsanna...it's truly wonderful. **

**These next couple chapters are going to be pretty long, and yes, Elsanna will happen in them.**

**Prepare yourself for fluff, because that's what it will be for now.**

**So basically, a heads up: I have about four or five chapters planned before a time span elapses and we jump to Elsa's coronation. So it looks like you could be waiting a little for the Elsanna smut (sorry not sorry).**

**They say write what you know, so we could be seeing more self-harm on Elsa's part as I am very familiar with that path.**

**Hope you like the story...I'd love to hear your thoughts about it and I always welcome constructive criticism as well!**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	9. Falling Slowly (Part I)

**A/N: So I guess I can tell you to follow me on tumblr now. Link is on my profile page... do it you won't regret it.**

**Hope you like this update...it's some fluff and mostly Elsa and Anna being adorable.**

Chapter 9 – Falling Slowly (Part I)

"_Are you really sure that you'd believe me, when others say I lie, I wonder if you could ever despise me." – If You Want Me, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova from the musical __**Once.**_

Elsa wearily opened her eyes the next morning, completely oblivious to anything other than the pounding that coursed through her head. _I knew I shouldn't have drunk the whole bottle…ughhhh. _She tried to roll over on her side, but she was stopped short by the searing pain shooting up her arm. Elsa's eyes snapped open when she saw all the red on her arm.

_Fuck. How am I going to tell Anna? _

Elsa knew how mad her sister would be, and she wasn't ready to face her just yet. That was when Elsa realized she was in a bed.

_Pretty sure I didn't make it to the bed last night._

Her eyes scanned around the room, and she wondered why it looked so familiar. The walls were painted a light blue…and nearly everything else was blue as well. Blue carpeting, blue bed sheets, blue curtains over the windows…

Elsa nearly jumped out of the bed from the terrorizing memories. _Fuck, get me out of here! _Disregarding the pain in her arm and head, Elsa shot out of the bed and immediately headed for the door. _Shit, why am I here? _She was just about to turn the handle when a force collided with her from behind, sending her slamming into the wall.

"What the fu- ,"

"_Why'd you do it?" _

Elsa turned around to face an infuriated Anna. She took a long breath of air before trying to step towards her sister, only to be pushed back against the wall again. "Anna, I - ,"

"Just answer me Elsa! Why'd you do it!?"

"You wouldn't understand Anna! Okay? I can't tell you right now. It won't make any sense to you," Elsa answered.

"No. You need to tell me. Elsa, it's already past noon! Do you know how worried I was last night? And then Gerda went to check on you early in the morning and your door was completely frozen shut!" Anna gave Elsa a furious shove, causing the older girl to wince again as the pain shot down her arm. "I had to get a guard to break through the door because you wouldn't answer us! Elsa, you were lying on the floor with blood all around you. I thought you killed yourself!"

"I can't tell you," Elsa said quietly.

"Why? What is _so _terrible that you can't even tell your own sister? What is so - ,"

"Anna, I almost killed you when we were younger! Because of my stupid powers, I almost lost you, and it was all my fault! I hurt you…and you don't even remember it! Okay, that's what happened. You have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, and quite frankly you don't want to, because you'd be afraid of me if you did!"

Anna couldn't process what Elsa said to her all at once. Of course she couldn't, because Elsa was right: She had no idea what she was talking about. But she knew it was true because she could hear the pleading in Elsa's voice. She could see the pain that darkened her eyes all the time. And Anna wanted to know what happened. She wanted Elsa to tell her everything. Then, she could trust her sister, and more importantly, she could forgive Elsa properly.

"I was so upset and angry last night," Elsa continued. "I couldn't handle it…seeing you all the time now only reminded me of how I hurt you, and I was drunk and I…I…" Elsa couldn't get the words out as she struggled to hold back her tears and cries.

The redhead immediately went to pull her older sister into a hug. Elsa stiffened a little at the contact since she wasn't expecting it, but eventually she melted into her sister's embrace, bringing her arms up so they rested around her waist. She regretted the decision, as the pain in her arm came back even stronger, forcing her to inhale sharply to avoid crying out.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" Anna asked, pulling away slightly.

Elsa let her arms drop to her side before giving Anna a weak smile. "I'm the one who should be saying that to you." She noticed that she still had her pants on from yesterday, but now she had on a plain black shirt, and a bandage soaked through with blood was wrapped around her arm. _What was I thinking?_

"Elsa, please tell me."

"Not now Anna. I have to meet with Silas, but I promise I will. I just really, really need some time to get it straightened out," Elsa replied.

Neither girl paid attention to how close they still were to each other. However, Elsa was the first to take notice after another small moment of silence between them. She was pressed against the wall, Anna's hands still rested against her shoulders, and their bodies were nearly flush against each other, save for a couple centimeters between them. It was certainly a compromising position, as all Elsa wanted to do was lean down and kiss Anna. _Stop it Elsa! _

"Fine," Anna said, letting out a sigh.

"I thought you were supposed to be in bed," Elsa pointed out, changing the subject to try and distract herself from Anna's body pushing against her own.

"I think I tend to disregard my own pain when yours is clearly much worse. And plus, I've gotten a lot better in the last couple days."

"I think you should tell me about it."

"Only if you spill everything to me after," Anna said smiling up at her older sister. Elsa's attempts to distract herself from their position were definitely not working, and her breath hitched when Anna's eyes met her own.

"I promise I will. Now I have to, uh, see Silas. We, uh, need to discuss…things. Yeah, well…I'll see you later today," Elsa stammered.

"Will you at least have dinner with me?"

"I don't think I'll make dinner. But I'll stay with you tonight okay?"

Anna just nodded as Elsa stepped sideways against the wall to reach the door again. As the older girl began to slip out of the room, Anna spoke up again. "By the way…" _Shit, what was I going to say? _"You uh…you look good in that shirt. Ummm, yeah…really nice!" _Wow, I'm pathetic. Such a hopeless romantic._

"Uh…thanks? I'll see you later," Elsa said, a small but genuine smile creeping onto her face. _Christ she's too fucking adorable. _She instantly shook her head to get rid of the thought. On the upside though, her sister cornering her and making her absorbed in their argument, discussion, whatever _that _was had certainly taken her mind off the fact that she had been in her room. _Her _room. The room where she hurt herself for three straight years. The room where she drowned in her guilt and hate. The room where she nearly killed herself.

* * *

"So you're saying you want to completely destroy the Southern Isles?"

"Yes," Elsa responded shortly. She had been going over her plans with Silas for the last four hours. It was all very complicated, and she knew it would take a lot of effort to set into motion. It would be expensive and time consuming, but it was something Elsa was ready for.

"And why exactly are you waiting until your coronation?" Silas asked.

"As I've said before, it's only to gain the people's trust. If I show them that I won't hurt them then they'll want to fight with me and support me."

"Makes sense…" Silas stared intently at Elsa for a moment, taking in every detail of her. He noticed how her jaw tensed every so often and how she seemed to hold her body a little more tightly today. She looked stressed. Silas was there when Anna had found Elsa in the guest bedroom. He felt so badly for the younger girl, and couldn't imagine the pain she must have felt seeing Elsa lying on the ground with blood pooling out of her arm. He imagined it must have been a million times worse than his. Silas would always love Elsa. And even though he knew he had no chance for her hand in marriage, he vowed to himself he would always remain loyal to her.

"…so I'm sure we have enough people for a solid army," Elsa said, drawing Silas back to the real world.

"I thought you were going to do all the work," he replied.

Elsa laughed softly before answering him. "That wouldn't be fair. No, I'm going to fight with my people. They want revenge on the Southern Isles anyway."

"What's wrong?" Silas couldn't help but ask. He saw Elsa's dark eyes, clouded by an emotion he couldn't read. He wanted to help Elsa. She told him all the time about how she wanted to change. They both knew it would be a difficult to near impossible task, but they would try. He knew something was missing though.

"Nothing," she said.

"That's obviously not true," Silas replied. "Elsa, something is bothering you, and you promised you would talk to me about everything."

"I don't know if this is something you'd want to hear."

"Go for it."

Elsa knew she needed to get this off her chest. She wasn't sure how much she told Gerda last night, and quite frankly she didn't want to know either. But she didn't know how Silas would react. The man was still in love with her. _His heart would break if I told him, _she thought. She couldn't imagine what Silas would think of her if she told him _everything. 'Oh yeah, Silas, sorry we couldn't be together. I'm already in love with my sister.' Fucking Christ, I'm pathetic._

"Silas…I don't know how to tell you this…"

"Let me guess: You like someone," he said, chuckling lightly.

Elsa lifted her head slightly to meet Silas' bright green eyes. _How can I hurt him like this? _But Elsa didn't feel anything behind the thought. For her, it was more of a duty to be considerate of others' feelings now. And as much as she hated to admit it, she didn't know how far her feelings for Silas would go in the long run. Yes, she cared about him, but she didn't feel a strong connection with him like she did with Anna. _Well…everything is different with Anna._

"Well…sort of. I guess. I mean, I don't know but - ,"

"If you're this flustered when talking about it, you like someone. So who is it? I always thought it was Belle, but now I know I'm wrong."

"I never really loved Belle," Elsa said apathetically. "She was good to have around, but I never…I just never felt anything for her. Which is why I'm terrified of what's happening right now. I think I'm falling in love."

"Well that's a jump," Silas replied. Although he hid it well, there was still a hint of pain in his voice. He tried all the time to get over his feelings for Elsa, but there was always something about her that was so pulling and intriguing. He couldn't help it. But, he wanted her to be happy. God did he want her to be happy. Elsa had gone through so much with absolutely no support, and as much as it hurt Silas to know he couldn't be the one making her happy, he was still overwhelmed with joy that maybe she finally found someone who could.

"The moment I saw her…I can't even describe what went through me," Elsa continued. "I've been guarding my heart for so long, not letting anyone in, and then I see her and feel like those walls I put up were immediately torn down."

"That's not something to be afraid of," he told her. "It's just new for you."

"It'll never work out though." Elsa dropped her head into her hands and let out an exasperated sigh. _Ugh, why is love so difficult? Probably because I've never felt it before…_

"Don't say that. Elsa, you've always shot down anything good that could happen to you simply because you've given up on the possibility of you being happy. But now you have an opportunity."

"Silas, if you knew…you would hate me. You'd - ,"

"I doubt that. Elsa, you're attracted to girls and I haven't left you yet. That's a big enough reason for people to turn away from you as it is. Even more, and uh…no offense, but you kill people - ," Elsa shot him a look that carried daggers in it. "But I'm still here right? I haven't gone away. And more than that, Anna's in love with you, and I - ,"

"What?!" Elsa exclaimed, slightly jumping at the words.

"Oh, I uh…probably shouldn't have told you that."

"She's in love with me? When did she tell you this?"

"Okay uh…she didn't exactly say that. She told me that she didn't know what to make of her feelings for you, and that she needed some time to be sure she was falling for you," Silas answered.

"I don't…she said…but we can't…" Elsa was mumbling a ton of incoherent things, and Silas was picking up on enough to know how confused she must be. It wasn't like Elsa to be at a loss for words, and Silas could only smile at the sight. It was nice to see her get all flustered just by the thought of Anna, but this news…Silas couldn't even imagine what this must have done to her. "She can't love me like that," Elsa finished once she was able to form a complete thought.

"Why not?"

"We're sisters! Do you know how wrong this is?"

"Elsa, you were separated for ten years. You didn't have a childhood with each other. Nothing is wrong about falling in love with Anna," Silas said softly.

"But what about when I have my coronation? What about the moment one of us has to get married?" Elsa had no idea what to do at this point. It couldn't be true. _But Silas never lies to you. Fuck. _But she knew she couldn't have anything with Anna simply because of the question she just posed to Silas. One of them would need to get married, for alliances, trade…there were a number of reasons.

"Neither of you needs to marry. Although, both of you are beautiful, so I'm sure there will be many suitors. But ultimately, no one can make you do something you don't want to."

"How will people react to me though?"

Silas knew what Elsa was talking about. And he really didn't know how other kingdoms would react to Elsa's sexuality. He was aware of some of the religious groups in the kingdoms, and they would surely hate her for it…and possibly try to have her killed. Some of them were extremists that way.

"You can't worry about that," he said. "When you're Queen, people can't tell you what to do. And believe me when I tell you: Anna feels the same way about you. True love never fails."

"I hope you're right," Elsa got out weakly.

"You just need to show her you love her. She thinks she'll lose you again if she tells you."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Simple things. I know, I'm probably the last person to tell you how to get a girl to fall for you, but I can't imagine it'd be that hard. I mean, you have men asking for your hand left and right," Silas said. Elsa only scoffed playfully and rolled her eyes in return.

"So you're saying it'll be hard or it won't be hard to make my own sister fall in love with me?" Elsa asked, a small smile remaining on her face.

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Elsa, you're in love! You can be truly happy with Anna. She can help you change the way you want to."

"I just think more negatives will come from this. What if I end up hurting her again?" The thought scared Elsa so much. She wasn't even over that first time, and if she hurt Anna again that would surely be the end of her. That was Elsa's only fear. Even the idea of death didn't frighten her. Somehow she thought losing Anna was worse…either that or it was the equivalent of death to her. Without Anna she was nothing. Elsa never realized how empty she really was until she was reunited with her sister.

"You won't."

"And you're so sure about that?"

"Pretty sure," Silas replied matter-of-factly. "I know you don't think you're capable of loving anyone, but you are. And this is proof of that. You say you don't have a heart. That's not true."

"Then what is it? I want to know why Anna makes me feel so…so…ugh, I can't even explain it."

"Because you do have a heart Elsa. It's just…I don't know how to put it…frozen? And right now, Anna's thawing it. Now," Silas said, standing up and offering Elsa his hand, "I believe you have a dinner to attend."

"About that…I wanted to go to the courtyard instead," she replied.

"And why is that?"

"I haven't stopped practicing my powers. I need to."

"Well…remember what I said mere minutes ago about getting Anna to fall for you? I think showing up to dinner would help that happen."

"Fine… let's go," she said as she took his hand.

"Mmmm…you need to dress in something a little nicer than worn out pants and a black v-neck shirt," Silas replied, playfully shaking his head. "Oh, I know! Make one of your ice dresses. Those are always stunning."

"Sometimes I get the feeling that you're actually gay," Elsa said, registering a laugh from the young man walking in front of her.

"Well I still like you, so I think if you're going to put a stamp on my sexuality you could say I swing for both teams," he responded.

Elsa only laughed in response. She always felt happy whenever she was with Silas. He found ways to make her smile and laugh and just let go of any stress or sadness she was feeling. But no matter how close they were, he could never, as he put it earlier, thaw her frozen heart.

Once they reached her room (well, Anna's room), Silas remained outside to wait for Elsa. They both decided that she should take a brush to her hair. It was a mess. Her braid…wasn't even a braid at this point, just a big tangled mess of jet black hair, and her bangs fell at all different angles. Elsa went over to the vanity in Anna's room, found a brush, and started running it through her hair.

"Elsa!"

The older girl stopped moving when she heard her sister's voice, and she slowly turned around to face the adorable redhead standing before her.

"I thought you were at dinner?" _Wow, Elsa, why do you sound like you want her to leave?_

"I was just about to go. Needed to put something nicer on." Anna's eyes darted up to Elsa's face for an instant and her breath hitched. "Wow, Elsa…your hair is down. Uh, you look really um…well, beautiful. You should wear it down more!"

_Christ why is she so nice? Say something Elsa. _"Well you look beautiful all the time." _Fuckfuckfuckohmygod… You're such a fucking idiot._

Anna looked away as she tried to hide the blush spreading across her face. The two girls stood there for another small moment, Elsa not knowing what to do, and Anna trying to resist the urge to kiss Elsa and drag her onto the bed. _Don't get too ahead of yourself Anna. _

"Mind if I join you?" Elsa asked, trying to break the awkward silence as she began braiding her hair.

"I thought you couldn't make it."

"Change of plans," the older girl replied with a genuine smile. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, and wondered if she really should craft an ice dress just for dinner. _I'd rather do it if I were…oh I don't know…dancing with Anna or going to a ball or something. _The thought sent a small shiver through Elsa as she chided herself for even thinking of that. _Imaginary scenarios are worse when you know they'll never happen._

"Oh well…awesome!" Truthfully, Anna was thrilled that Elsa was joining her for dinner. _I thought she'd never ask. Okay well it's not like a date or anything. I mean, it's dinner…in our own castle so…okay Anna calm down and act normal._

Elsa decided to change into one of her nicer and, dare she say it herself, sexier outfits. _Really? It's only dinner Elsa, _she thought. She went over to the wardrobe (she was getting pretty comfortable in Anna's room), and pulled out the clothes: Black, form-fitting slacks, white button down shirt, black waistcoat, and black jacket. It wasn't the exact tuxedo she wore when she went to the ball in Corona, as this one was tailored to fit her slim figure and accentuate her curves.

She headed into the bathroom to change, not wanting to risk standing nearly naked in front of Anna. When she came out, Anna was sitting on the bed obviously waiting for her and looking extremely beautiful in a simple yet elegant green gown.

"So I have an issue…Tie? Or bowtie?" Elsa asked as she held up both items in her hands.

"Well, uh…" Anna stopped short as her eyes fell on Elsa, who looked absolutely stunning in the tuxedo. _Ohmygodohmygod Anna say something nice. Compliment her. Do something. Ohmygod. _"Elsa, you uh…_wow_, you look umm…" Anna tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and tried to find the right word to describe Elsa. _Well, calling her sexy won't get you anywhere. _"…bowtie," she finally got out, deciding it would be better if she just didn't try to compliment her breathtakingly beautiful sister.

Elsa only nodded before putting the black bowtie on. She turned away from Anna to face the mirror, and smirked to herself as she thought of her sister getting all flustered when she saw her. _She's too cute and…just perfect. _

The two girls walked out of the room, and Elsa was met with a rather animated reaction from Silas.

"Oh. My. God. You look dashing," he said, flashing a charming smile Elsa's way before turning his attention to Anna. "Anna, you look beautiful as always."

"Thank you Silas," Elsa replied, rolling her eyes at the man's enthusiastic behavior.

"I thought you were wearing an ice dress," he whispered in Elsa's ear.

"Yeah well…Anna likes the bowtie." Silas only smiled in return, giving Elsa a wink before heading in the opposite direction.

"Well, have fun at dinner! I have some things I need to take care of," he said. Elsa shot him a look that carried daggers, which only registered a laugh from Silas as he continued to walk away.

"Sometimes I really hate him," Elsa muttered.

"Don't say that!" Anna replied with a mock chiding tone in her voice as she playfully swatted at Elsa's arm. _Oh my God, you're so dumb. And Christ her arm is so muscular ohmygod that's so hot…wait, stop Anna. Stop right now. _

Elsa let out a light-hearted laugh and tried not to focus on the contact too much. It had been so long since she could be this open and free with someone. And while Silas was a close second, Anna just made her feel so complete. Elsa forgot all her worries when she was with Anna and yet she was reminded of all of them. She had never been so close with someone yet her fear of hurting Anna again was making Elsa keep her distance. She wanted to love Anna, yet she knew they couldn't get too close because Elsa didn't want to break her heart.

"Well, guess it's just you and me tonight," Elsa said, offering her arm to Anna so she could lead her into the dining hall.

"Why thank you," Anna said, playfully curtsying before looping her arm with Elsa's, registering a small giggle from both of them.

Anna was so overwhelmed with joy at seeing Elsa so relaxed and just truly happy. She knew Elsa wasn't the monster she always thought she was. It would be a difficult task, but Anna knew that deep down, under all those protective layers Elsa put over herself, was the big sister she always loved. She just needed to bring Elsa out of the darkness.

"And by the way," Anna began, "I'm perfectly fine with just us tonight."

_Yup…I'm in love._

**After dinner**

Dinner with Anna wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. They managed to talk about a variety of things (what Elsa was planning to do as Queen was the most discussed topic, although Elsa didn't give many details). And, Elsa thought this was very important, she was able to form coherent and complete thoughts whenever she answered one of Anna's questions. They had talked long after they finished dinner, and now it was nearly midnight.

Elsa had taken Anna back to her room, and made sure her younger sister was fast asleep before she left to find the liquor cabinet again. She figured this would be a regular visit for her as long as she was keeping her feelings hidden from Anna. She had a couple glasses of wine at dinner, but not nearly enough to give her the effect she desired.

She quickly entered the kitchen and made her way to the cabinet, swiftly grabbing a random bottle. It turned out to be some sort of whiskey, and Elsa hoped it was a strong one. She took a glass and poured herself some of the caramel colored liquid and sighed in content as she took her first sip.

_God why do I have to be in love with her? It doesn't matter what Silas said. We could never work out. She's so nice and gorgeous and sweet and compassionate. And I'm just…a jerk, a murderer, a sociopath, an asshole…yeah no, we definitely wouldn't go together._ She downed the rest of the glass with a few large gulps before pouring herself another.

The whiskey was strong…_very _strong. Elsa was already feeling wobbly on her feet as she began walking out of the kitchen. Where she was going, she didn't even know. Certainly not back to Anna's room though.

It seemed like she was walking for hours when in reality it had only been ten minutes. Until finally, two more glasses of whiskey later, she stopped in front of the large mahogany doors that lead to the ballroom. _Why am I here? _

Elsa silently pushed the doors open, and for the first time in her life she successfully battled the assault of bad memories. She saw herself playing with Anna when they were younger. She saw them building a snowman. They named him Olaf. _And he likes warm hugs, _she thought, smiling to herself. She saw them having snowball fights. She saw all the good memories of that night, and she refused to let the one terrible thing into her mind. She refused to let herself be tormented by the sight of Anna lying on the ground. She refused to let herself be battered by the guilt of knowing it was her fault.

Maybe it was only because she was absolutely wasted right now, or maybe it was because she was finally telling herself that now she could start over with Anna. At any rate, Elsa shoved all those thoughts from her mind as she started what was now her fifth glass of alcohol. She made her way across the ballroom to the far left corner. She was surprised it was still there, but she wasted no time in sitting down at the beautiful grand piano.

Elsa wasn't sure how she would sound. She had continued to play while she was in the Southern Isles, and she always improved. But that was beside the matter. She was drunk…extremely, over-the-top, in-over-her-head drunk to be precise. But once she laid her hands on the smooth ebony and ivory keys, she forgot the world around her, and she began to play.

The chords were simple, and it was a slow paced song. It was in A major, and Elsa kept reminding herself not to miss the C sharps…she tended to do that a lot with this song. But aside from that the note pattern remained the same and was an easy memorization of movement for her fingers. She played the chords that involved the C sharps so she wouldn't forget, and once she was satisfied, she tapped her foot lightly for the tempo, and when she finished the small intro, she began to sing.

"_Hands touch, eyes meet,_

_ Sudden silence, sudden heat._

_ Hearts leap in a giddy whirl…"_

She wasn't sure what pushed her towards this song. Either it was only the alcohol messing up her brain or her ever growing, intense love for Anna…hell, it was probably both. Yes, Elsa was that person who said and did things while she was drunk that she would end up regretting the next morning, but now that wasn't the case. Elsa was singing this song for a reason. It spoke to her and how she was feeling about Anna. It was all true.

_"…Don't dream too far,_

_ Don't lose sight of who you are._

_ Don't remember that rush of joy…"_

Anna had woken up not half an hour after Elsa tucked her into bed to a startling nightmare. She was even more panicked when she saw that her sister was not next to her. So she set out to find her. She was afraid she had gone back into her old room or somewhere remote in the castle and hurt herself again. But those fears were squashed and relief set in as the redhead neared the ballroom.

She heard the sound of the piano and instantly knew it was Elsa, seeing as no one else in the castle played except her. Anna followed the sound, and now she was standing in the doorway, absorbed in the sight of her older sister playing a beautiful song and singing with the most amazing voice she had ever heard. She didn't recognize the song, but she found herself completely engrossed in the gorgeous tune and lyrics. And Anna began walking across the ballroom to her sister.

_"…Don't wish, don't start,_

_ Wishing only ruins the heart._

_I wasn't born for the rose and pearl…"_

Although she didn't give any signs of acknowledgment, Elsa knew her sister had taken a seat next to her on the piano bench. And if she glanced over for a moment, she would've seen Anna staring at her with wide eyes filled with admiration and love, the redhead in awe at how Elsa's fingers glided over the keys with absolutely no effort. But Elsa was secretly hoping that Anna would really listen to the last words of the song as she sang them and put her own twist into the lyrics.

_"There's a girl I know,_

_ I love her so…_

_ But I'm not that girl."_

"Gorgeous," Anna said. _I am such an idiot…_

"Hm?" Elsa asked as she turned to face her younger sister, who had her arms crossed on top of the piano and her head resting on top of them.

"The song, I mean…you play beautifully. And your voice…I forgot you could sing that well and you're so talented on the piano and that was such a pretty song and wow, I'm rambling right now. I'm so awkward and you're gorgeous…wait, what?"

Elsa let out a soft laugh, admiring how adorable her sister was. "You really liked the song?" she asked. Anna heard the way she was slurring her words pretty heavily, and just took notice of the near empty bottle of whiskey on the floor next to Elsa's feet.

"Yeah! It was beautiful. Play me another one?" _Oh God, you really need to act more normal around her._

"Okay…can I play anything?"

"Anything."

Elsa took a few moments to sort through her clouded brain and come up with a song she knew she could play by heart without making any errors due to her drunkenness. Her eyes lit up as she thought of the perfect song, and she took a small sip from her glass of whiskey before settling in to play again.

_"Are you really here, or am I dreaming?_

_ I can't tell dreams from truth._

_ For it's been so long, since I have seen you,_

_ I can hardly remember your face anymore._

_ When I get really lonely and the distance causes only silence,_

_ I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes, a lover that sighs…"_

Anna knew the song. It was one of many that Elsa used to sing to her when they were younger to help her fall asleep after a nightmare. She wasn't sure why she decided to sing softly with Elsa, but she did.

_"If you want me, satisfy me._

_ If you want me, satisfy me."_

Elsa looked over at her sister, and met her beautiful teal blue eyes before she began the next verse.

_"Are you really sure that you'd believe me_

_ When others say I lie?_

_ I wonder if you could ever despise me,_

_ When you know I really tried_

_ To be a better one to satisfy you for you're everything to me._

_ And I'll do what you ask me_

_ If you let me be free…"_

Whether it was quickly or slowly, Anna felt herself falling in love with Elsa during this moment. Of course, Elsa probably wouldn't remember any of it tomorrow considering how drunk she was right now. But Anna would, and she made a mental note to call her sister out on it tomorrow.

_"If you want me, satisfy me…"_

The song dwindled down with Elsa performing a perfect decrescendo as she slowly faded the notes away. Once the sound of the notes drifted away into the air, both girls sat there, looking into each other's eyes, not knowing what to do or say.

"You really are gorgeous," Anna finally got out as she took her arms off the top of the piano.

"And you're beautiful." Elsa knew she wouldn't remember this, and she knew she would regret it too. But right now she just couldn't help it. She had only been with her sister for three days now, but she knew she was in love with Anna. She wanted to deny it and just forget she ever thought about the possibility of them being together. But now she was drunk, and her judgment wasn't exactly the best. However, Elsa felt like she knew exactly what she was doing.

Anna wasn't prepared for it, but she found herself welcoming the touch of her sister's skin against her own as Elsa cupped her cheek in her hand. Anna let out a content sigh and leaned into the touch. She was trying to stop herself. She was trying to tell herself that this was wrong, that sisters don't fall in love with each other. She was also trying to tell herself that she was only sixteen and that she couldn't possibly know what she wanted yet. But she did. She wanted Elsa. She wanted Elsa _so _badly. She needed Elsa.

Anna felt the sudden drop in temperature, their breaths becoming visible and the white clouds of air mixing with each other due to their close proximity, and she met Elsa's eyes again. They were faintly clouded by the whiskey, but Anna could see their beautiful deep blue twinkling with love and well…want. And in that moment, alcohol and blurry thoughts played no role in either of the girls' decision.

Anna placed her hand over Elsa's arm, encouraging her to go through with it. They were so close, mere centimeters apart now, and there was no going back at this point. Both girls knew that this was what they wanted.

Elsa took a shaky breath, before she leaned forward those last few centimeters, and ghosted her lips over Anna's.

The brief feel of Elsa's lips over her own was all Anna needed as she felt her heart swell in her chest and she fell into the sweet thing people called love. And she didn't hesitate when she grabbed the lapels on Elsa's tux and pulled her back towards her. Anna pressed her lips against Elsa's a little harder, showing her sister that this is what she wanted. And Anna couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be than in Elsa's strong arms. She felt so protected and safe and loved. She didn't want this moment to end.

But Elsa was trying to draw herself out of the kiss. She knew it was wrong. She knew she shouldn't be feeling this way about her sister. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't pull away. She couldn't deny the inevitable. She wanted Anna. She needed Anna. She was in love with Anna. And she hated herself for it.

_I love you._

* * *

**A/N: Yay Elsanna! They're so cute, I ship them so hard omg. And drunk Elsa is the best but hint hint, the things she does while she's drunk...let's say she doesn't always remember them (and Anna doesn't like this).**

**So anyway, hope you liked the chapter. I figure I have two or three more until we jump to Elsa's coronation, which means there will be more Dark!Elsa to come as well as some intense Elsanna.**

**The first song that Elsa plays is called "I'm Not That Girl." It's from the musical Wicked, and it's a beautiful song. I highly recommend listening to it. The second song is "If You Want Me" and it's from the musical Once. Again, highly recommend you listen to it. Gorgeous songs for a gorgeous relationship that's blooming between Elsa and Anna.**

**I'll try to get another chapter uploaded this weekend but I can't make any promises...sorry! I'll try though, because I know next weekend I definitely won't be uploading. I have a big hockey tryout and it's really important so wish me luck guys!**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	10. Falling Slowly (Part II)

**A/N: ****This is literally fluff and Elsa and Anna being fucking adorable. I know, I know...you probably want the smut and all that good stuff. Don't worry, it'll come soon enough (pun intended or not). Happy reading!**

Chapter 10 – Falling Slowly (Part II)

"_Take this sinking boat, and point it home, we've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you'll make it now." – Falling Slowly, from the musical __**Once.**_

To say Anna was shocked by what happened last night was an understatement. She was actually freaking out. She couldn't wrap her brain around any of it, and it did scare her a little bit too. _Elsa kissed me…and I kissed her back. Damn, this can't be good. _

She had, with much difficulty, taken Elsa back to her room with her, and had to fight the urge to continue what they started when they reached the bed. Although, she wasn't even sure how far they would have gotten considering Elsa was nearly half asleep by the time they reached her room. It was all just so puzzling to her. It was strange to think that things between them could change this quickly. They had gone from just getting to know each other again to kissing in the ballroom in only a matter of days, and Anna was nervous. She was only sixteen and she had a life ahead of her. She couldn't fall in love now, and with her sister of all people!

But Elsa wasn't just another person to Anna. She was the reason Anna woke up every morning and endured the torture of not seeing her older sister. She was the reason she fought through the abuse Darce handed to her. She was the reason Anna persisted all those nights when they were younger, always going to Elsa's door every night to try and coax her out of her room. Elsa was the reason Anna continued to live every day. She longed to see her older sister. But now, after last night, they could never be _just _sisters.

_Elsa wouldn't have kissed me if she didn't have feelings for me right? _She hoped that was the case. Because that kiss last night…Anna couldn't even explain how it made her feel. She couldn't picture anyone else she'd rather be with. The way her older sister held her last night, the way Elsa's lips moved against her own, it made Anna feel so warm inside, so happy, so loved. She could feel the electricity between them, and the heat that came even through the drop in temperature.

_But how will this change things between us? What if someone besides Silas finds out? What if Elsa regretted it? _A bunch of different scenarios and possibilities played out in Anna's mind as she gently knocked on Silas' door.

She waited a few moments, but soon the handsome young man opened the door, welcoming her into his room. "Anna! Surprised to see you're up so early," he said as he ran a hand through his dark brown hair.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," she said.

"Sure. Have a seat."

The pair sat next to each other on the edge of the bed, and Anna took in Silas' quite disheveled morning appearance. His hair was all ruffled, and he still had the faint remnants of sleepiness in his eyes. He was wearing what looked like boxer shorts and a loose white tank top. Anna thought he looked absolutely adorable, and could see why Elsa liked him so much just based on his appearance.

"Well, you know how I told you about my feelings for Elsa?"

"Yup."

"Well…what if, theoretically speaking… Okay, start over. Let's say there are two people, and one of them likes the other…okay, not likes, _loves. _Like, they're head over heels in love with this other person, and I'm totally not referring to myself when I say that. But this person doesn't think the other loves them back in that way. So, again theoretically speaking, let's say the other, mysterious, dark, person happens to get absolutely hammered one night on a whole bottle of whiskey. This didn't actually happen…I'm just speculating here Silas, okay? And the person who is madly in love with them finds them playing the piano and they sit down and they listen. And when the mysterious person finishes, they look over at the other one who is watching them in awe and just pure love. I didn't really do this though, just saying. And that mysterious, dark person, in what could have been only a drunken state, kisses the other person who's in love with them. And this person kisses them back. And let's say these two people may or may not be siblings. What does that change for them?"

"Well…let's think of these two people, now _I'm _only theoretically speaking, _are _in fact you and Elsa hmm? What about that?" Silas hands back to her.

"Okay, so what if it _was _the two of us. What does that mean for us? What does it change?"

"Let's leave out the part that Elsa is drunk okay? In that case, it would mean that you two finally gave into your feelings for each other, which is great! It means you can start building a more intimate relationship - ,"

"But…" Anna said.

Silas gave a light smile before continuing, "But, now we put back the part where Elsa was indeed completely blasted."

"That can't be good."

"I'll just say this: Elsa, among the people in the Southern Isles, has a reputation of doing things while she's drunk that she doesn't remember the next morning. So, chances are, she won't have a clue what you're talking about if you bring this up."

"Wait…she has a reputation of doing this?" Anna asked, that being the only part she picked up on.

"Uh…yes, sort of. She told you about Belle right?"

"Yeah…and she said she didn't love her. Unless she was lying to me."

"Oh she wasn't Anna, I assure you," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "However…there were many girls before Belle."

"Like relationships or…?" _Jeez, how much do I not know about my sister?_

"Oh no, Elsa was never into any of that. Just one night stands. But…and I know you're thinking this: 'So I'm just another girl Elsa fucks' right? Well, you're wrong," he answered, playfully jabbing a finger into Anna's shoulder. "You're supposed to figure this out on your own, and I know Elsa will kill me for telling you, but…she talked to me about this too. Not about last night, obviously, I'm assuming she's still in bed?" Anna nodded, so Silas continued. "That'll be interesting. A hung over, tired Elsa is always fun. Anyway, she told me of her feelings for you. She didn't know what to make of it, and I could tell it frightened her. She's more cautious with her heart if you couldn't tell."

"She's always saying she doesn't have emotions. But I don't think that's true," Anna replied.

"It's not. Aeron turned her into a monster. He only worsened her situation. She's gone deeper into her world of self-hate and harm, and I'm afraid she'll be stuck in that darkness forever. He trained her so she became so desensitized, and I feel like killing people is the only thing she knows how to do," Silas told her, sadness lining his voice.

"She told me something interesting. She said that when we were younger, our father always told her to 'Conceal, don't feel', and she thinks that she told herself that so many times, eventually she _did _stop feeling."

Silas cocked his head a little as he thought about it. "That is interesting. I don't know what it was like for you two when you were younger, but Elsa did tell me you were isolated from each other. So I can see how that might have played a role in this. But nonetheless, I still think she can come back. Anna, what Elsa needs is true love. I told her that myself, but she needs to believe it."

"I think we all need true love at some point," Anna answered quietly. "I just don't want her to shut herself away because of this. She has a tendency to run away from her problems and try to deal with them herself, and that usually doesn't end well."

"Okay then. So, no matter how much she tries to distance herself from you, no matter how much she tells you this is wrong or that you can't know what you want now, you keep her by your side. She needs you Anna. And I know you need her too."

"What happens if people find out though? I don't want them to hurt her because of this."

"Well, I think she'll have enough problems with telling the people she won't marry a man," Silas said, letting out a stronger laugh than he did before.

"Wait…what?"

"Anna, Elsa likes girls…or women, at this point in her life, I think that's the right term now. Only women too."

"Oh…yeah, that probably won't go over too well with some of the religious groups here," Anna said, laughing a little nervously. "But as for the rest of the people, I honestly don't think they'd react in a negative way. A lot of the members of our army and navy have partners of the same gender. I guess it's kind of just something that's accepted. Although, I'm not sure how it is in other kingdoms. But still, Arendelle needs an heir, which means they'll want me to marry. Oh no no no no no. This isn't good, ughhh." Anna flopped back onto the bed, splaying an arm over her face as she groaned in frustration.

"Hey, true love never fails. You two will find a way. But before you think that far into the future – remember, Elsa is only nineteen. You have another two years until her coronation. Okay well, almost one because Elsa's birthday is soon. But that's beside the point – you need to figure out your feelings for each other now. I'd wait a little to ask her about the kiss. But just drop little hints for her and see how she reacts."

"So…you want me to flirt with Elsa? She can barely handle physical contact! How will she react to me making sexual innuendos?" Anna asked, sitting up again so she could meet Silas' eyes.

"It doesn't have to be just that. But it is true about the physical contact. You need to get her used to that first. Hug her…I don't know…do anything!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air as he let out a soft laugh. "Look, you just need to get Elsa to let her guard down a little with you. We both know how cautious she is with trusting people. It took me a few years to gain that from her. But she loves you Anna, and I know she's trying to let you in. She's just not used to this type of thing."

"I'll try," Anna said. "But first I think I need to manage to wake her up."

"Have fun. I always had the honor of doing it back in the Southern Isles. She's a special one when she's hung over."

Anna allowed herself to laugh slightly before heading for the door. "Thanks Silas. It means a lot knowing you'll listen to me," she said before leaving.

Silas fell back onto his bed, sinking into the pillows and sheets. He was worried for the sisters. He knew they'd work it out and find a way to be together, and he was beyond happy for them. But he also knew that Elsa was right when she said more negatives would come from something like this.

Forget the people's reactions and the other kingdoms… _Just Elsa alone, _he thought. Elsa was enough to put a wedge in between her and her sister. He wasn't sure how far Anna was willing to go to make Elsa realize that she's not a monster, and quite frankly the younger girl didn't really know how much it would take for that to happen. On top of that, he didn't know how open Elsa would even be to that idea. She had become so trapped in this role of a murderer and being used as nothing more than a weapon of war that it completely overtook her.

Silas knew that Elsa didn't want to hurt or frighten Anna. However, Elsa had been turned into a killing machine. And based off of Anna's words, he could tell that was the only thing she feared about her sister. Anna didn't want Elsa to kill. She wanted Elsa to use her powers for good things now. It would take a lot of time and a lot of effort. But Silas was only worried about this, because he knew that if Elsa was provoked in any way, she wouldn't hesitate to kill again. _And that, _he thought, _is what will drive them apart._

* * *

"Elsa, wake up," Anna said once she entered her room.

Elsa was now sprawled out on the bed and had flung the sheets off of her body. Anna took the time to drink in the sight of her sister. She had gotten Elsa out of her clothes last night. Well, partly out of her clothes. She knew Elsa shouldn't sleep in a tux, so she had stripped her of her pants, jacket, and waist coat, which left her sister in the white button down shirt and a too inviting pair of blue panties. Anna had a tough time fighting the urge to take her sister during that moment.

And she had to fight that same urge again. Seeing her sister lying there with her long, toned legs, wrinkled shirt that was unbuttoned at the top, and tangled mess of black hair was way too tempting for the younger girl to handle. _Better get this over with as quickly as possible._

"Elsa, come on. It's nearly eleven in the morning already," Anna said, walking over to the side of the bed. She gave her sister a small shove, trying to rouse her just a little.

"Too…mm early," Elsa mumbled into the pillow.

"Elsa!" Anna yelled, reaching over her sister to grab a pillow. She whacked Elsa on the back with it several times, and the older girl only grunted and shoved her head under her pillow in return. Anna groaned in frustration. "This is gonna be harder than I thought," she muttered to herself.

Elsa had no intention of getting up anytime soon. She had nothing to do today except see Darce, and that could always wait. So, she rolled over onto her back, keeping the pillow over her face and ears to try and drown out the sound of her sister attempting to get her out of bed.

Anna decided that there was only one way to wake her sister up. At least, she hoped it would. The redhead stalked over the other side of the bed where Elsa was dangerously close to the edge. And without any further hesitation, Anna grabbed her sister's arm and pulled the older girl out of the bed, letting her not so gracefully fall to the floor.

"Fuck!" Elsa yelled, finally opening her eyes to see Anna standing over her. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Uh, well let's see…you wouldn't get up. So…duh," Anna said as if that gave her any justification.

"I was sleeping," Elsa mumbled.

"It's past eleven Elsa. Now get up."

Elsa grabbed the side of the bed to help guide her up from the floor, and she had to steady herself from the wave of dizziness that washed over her. "Fuck, what happened last night?" It was then that she noticed her clothing situation…or a lack thereof. "Okay seriously…_what happened last night? _We didn't…uh…?" Her words trailed off as she looked up to meets Anna's bright eyes.

"What…no! Of course not! Why would…why would you even think that?"

"Oh well ya know…just the fact that I'm nearly half naked," Elsa shot back. "Are you sure nothing happened last night?"

"Yeah," Anna replied, although it pained her to say it. "You were drunk so I…took you back here to let you sleep."

"You could have given me a couple more hours," Elsa said, pushing past Anna to head over to the wardrobe. "I need my beauty sleep ya know."

Anna had to playfully scoff at that. "Yeah, like you need to be more beautiful than you already are. Do you ever just look at yourself in the mirror?"

Elsa glanced up at her reflection in the full length mirror in front of her and smirked to herself. "Yeah I do actually. And right now, I think you're hallucinating." She quickly grabbed a pair of black pants and a long sleeved, black button down shirt.

"You know, you need to start dressing a little more…royal-ish," Anna said.

"Really now?" Elsa gave back, rolling her eyes. "Last time I checked, nobody is expecting anything of me yet, so this will do just fine."

"Yeah but what about when you're queen?"

"When I'm queen then I'll wear royal stuff…I don't know, I'll probably make an ice dress. But for now, I don't think I need to look so…so…ugh, I don't even know the word for it," Elsa said. She quickly changed into the clean clothes, and didn't bother to tuck her shirt in like she usually did. "Ugh, I look like hell," she muttered as she returned to her position in front of the mirror.

"No," Anna said. "You just need to brush your hair."

"No shit," Elsa answered shortly, grabbing a brush and basically attacking her hair with it.

"Um, Elsa…can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What exactly _do _you remember from last night?"

Elsa turned to face her sister once she was finished brushing her hair, and tried her best to recall the events from the previous night.

"Uh, well…I remember having dinner with you. And then you went to bed, and I left to grab a bottle of whiskey. Um…I drank…a lot. And then I was in the ballroom playing the piano. Uh, that's it I think. Yeah…that's all. Why? Did I do something?"

"No…just making sure," Anna replied. To say she was mad with Elsa was a gross understatement. She was furious. _So that means the kiss meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. She doesn't even remember it! I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up too high._

"Oh okay," Elsa said back, noticing the slight change in Anna's demeanor. She was extremely good at reading people's eyes, and right now she could see the hurt that lined the teal blue orbs belonging to her sister. _I hope I didn't hurt her. Oh God…damn it! I'm such an idiot. I must have hurt her. Fuck… How could I do this? And I can't even remember what I did! I'm really not cut out for this whole sister thing._ _I need to get out of here. _"Uh…well, I need to go. I'll uh, see you later."

"Yeah sure." Anna tried smiling at her sister, but Elsa saw right through it. Once she was sure her older sister was gone, Anna sank to the ground and leaned against the side of the bed. She had so desperately wanted this to work. She hoped Elsa would remember. _I should have known better. _It wasn't Elsa's fault though. She knew it would take a long time before her sister finally opened up to her. Elsa had mentioned not wanting to hurt her again, and Anna needed to know what happened when they were younger. She needed to know what was making Elsa distance herself from…from…Anna couldn't even put a word to it… _From whatever we could be. _She settled for that phrase, and wasn't even sure if that was the right way to describe this. She just wanted her older sister back. _What is she so afraid of?_

And soon, Anna couldn't hold the tears back anymore. She brought her knees up to her chest, put her head in her hands, and cried.

_God…Elsa I love you so much. I hope you know that. I hope you know I'd do anything for you. Please Elsa…just let me in._

* * *

Elsa took a detour into the kitchen to grab a bottle of scotch before heading off to the dungeon. She wasn't sure why she decided to talk to Darce. Maybe it was the shock of being able to actually relate to him with something, but whatever her reason was, it still didn't change the fact that he violated Anna, and she would never _ever _forgive him for that.

After entering the stairwell to the dungeon, Elsa froze the door shut. She didn't need anyone sneaking down here or even coming to check on her. Even if that didn't happen the last couple times she came here, she didn't want to risk it.

"Hope you like scotch," she said once she entered his cell. She poured him a glass, and then filled her own before sitting down against the wall across from him. He took the drink and took a sip, sighing in content as he placed the glass on the ground next to him.

"I've been meaning to ask: Why exactly do you want to talk?" His voice was still a little weak, but at least he didn't have to put too much effort into speaking.

"I really don't know," Elsa replied as she took a sip of her scotch. "I think I was just fascinated by the fact that you could know something about love." They both heard the mocking tone in her voice, but underneath that was a genuine want to know what Darce's experience with love was.

"That I do," he said. "Would you like to hear?"

"Please…enlighten me."

"Well, it's different from what you're going through. You're in love right now. I've never experienced that. But I _have _experienced what it's like to love another human. I know, shocking. But anyway, I was third in line to the throne. It would still take me a long time to become king, and there were many assassination attempts on my father.

"Aeron was a year older than me, and we had the same mother. However, Aeron being the selfish person he was, he distanced himself from our mother and everyone else in our family that came after. He wanted nothing more than to be king, and one night, he poisoned our father's drink. He was an old man at that time, so no one questioned anything, and only said he had died of natural causes.

"But I knew that wasn't true. So I told people that it was Aeron. That turned out to be a huge mistake on my part. Aeron quickly put down any rumor that started after that, saying I was just a jealous brother. It's funny how quickly people believe things if you tell them something enough times. It seemed like our entire kingdom turned on me in a matter of days. They called me a liar and a traitor. No one trusted me.

"And one day, Aeron and I got into an argument. We started fighting…throwing punches and whatnot until I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't stand how selfish he was or how much he lied for his own personal gain. It just wasn't right. So I pulled a knife of him. I nearly had him. Missed his throat by only an inch or two, and ended up slicing his upper shoulder open. Not enough to do harmful damage, but enough so he could spread another lie that I had tried to kill him."

"But you did," Elsa intervened. "You just said you missed his neck."

"Yes, but I wasn't necessarily aiming for it! I simply wanted him to back off and end the fight. I had no intention of actually killing him. But the people believed him again. They all said I should be hanged for attempted treason. But Aeron said that was too easy.

"So, he made me suffer. He took our mother and tortured her until he eventually killed her. And he made me watch. He beat her, whipped her, and raped her right in front of me." Darce paused for a few moments to take a long gulp of his scotch and tried his best to choke back his tears. "He completely mutilated her, and I begged him to kill me instead. He didn't listen. He just kept hitting her and…I can still picture it…still hear her screams…"

Darce began to break down, and as painful as it was for him, he let the tears fall from his eyes. Elsa watched as the tall, dark, strong man sitting across from her cried, and she could clearly see the agony of the flashbacks coursing across his face. And she almost felt bad for him.

Almost…

"You have no idea what that did to me Elsa," he continued once he finally managed to hold back his sobs. "I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes…I see her. And when Aeron finally murdered her right in front of me…I felt like a piece of my heart was ripped right out of my chest. I was never the same after that. He destroyed me without even touching me."

"But he touched your heart," Elsa said. "In fact, he did destroy you. A blackened heart is the worst thing of all."

"My heart was pure before he did that. I loved my mother so much. She was everything to me. Even when our kingdom turned their backs on me, even when my own brothers wouldn't look at me, she stood by my side. I've never had anyone support me the way she did. She was the only person I ever loved, and then she was taken away from me."

"It's funny how much we're alike," Elsa responded. "You had your mother taken away. I can relate to that…I watched my mother take her last breath when I was ten years old. I saw Aeron murder my father when I was thirteen. Stabbed him right through his chest. And do you know what I felt when that happened? Nothing."

"What about your sister?"

"See that's the thing Darce. Not only do I love Anna, but I'm _in _love with her. I felt like I forgot how to breathe when I saw her…when I found her in the tower."

"You're in love with her?" Darce asked.

"Well I think that's what I just said," Elsa answered. "So much too… I'd do anything for her. But we can't be with each other. I'd only ruin it between us and drive us apart again."

"You don't know that."

"About that… I think I've already started putting a wedge between us."

"And how is that?" he asked.

"Well for one, I got drunk last night and kissed her. But what's more…she kissed me back! But that's not where I went wrong. I lied to her about it. This morning, she asked me if I remembered anything, and I said no. I didn't want to talk about it at that moment with her, but that doesn't give me the justification to lie to her."

A long silence occurred between the pair, and it was in that moment that Elsa realized what she said mere minutes ago. _I love Anna. _She said those words out loud. And as she thought back to the moment those words left her mouth, she could feel her heart clenching in her chest. Not because she felt guilty about not meaning them, but because she was overjoyed that she _did _mean them. _I just need to be able to say them to her. _

"Then make it right," Darce said, breaking the silence. "Tell her that you remember. If she kissed you back, she obviously feels the same way. But you know one of you will have to marry soon."

"Don't remind me," Elsa replied, letting out a frustrated groan.

"But actually…now that I'm thinking about it, you don't need a blood heir to continue the family."

"What are you saying?"

"You can adopt…that is, if there's nothing against it in the Arendelle law."

"Wait…slow down. I'm not thinking that far ahead. I'd rather focus on how people would react to this kind of thing," Elsa said.

"I mean, there have been cases of this in other kingdoms to continue the royal family, but of course, that was between a man and woman. I don't know how it'll go over with two women."

"Why did this have to happen?" Elsa let out, dropping her head slightly.

"If this love is true, Elsa, then nothing can come between you and Anna. True love is the most powerful magic of all. Of course, all magic comes with a price. You just need to ask yourself: Is it a price you're willing to pay?"

"I guess we'll find out," Elsa said as she stood up, dusting small specks of dirt off her pants. "And just so you know, I can tell you these things only because I'm going to kill you later on. Just because you had a shit past doesn't excuse you from what you did to my sister, the same way me having a shit past as well doesn't excuse me from the fact that I've murdered thousands upon thousands of innocent people. And I sure as hell hope you feel guilty about what you did to Anna. I don't want someone else like me out there, someone who doesn't feel anything. No remorse, no sympathy…I feel nothing. I want you to feel badly about hurting my sister, because then I'll know that you have a heart and that you're a human."

"But you do have a heart, and you are a human. Don't look down on yourself," Darce offered. He genuinely felt bad for Elsa. She despised herself so much, and that led her to do things that would hurt Anna. Darce knew that Anna felt Elsa's pain.

"No," Elsa said, taking a deep breath as she grabbed their glasses of scotch off the ground along with the bottle. "I'm not a human." She spoke the last words so softly as she exited his cell that he almost didn't hear them. But he did, and it made his blood run cold. "I'm a monster."

* * *

Elsa sat at the piano again that night, her fingers gliding over the smooth keys. She had skipped out on dinner, and instead went to the courtyard to focus on her magic. She needed time to herself, time to think about how she could really tell Anna how she felt. Although, Anna hadn't shown up yet, so maybe her younger sister really was mad at her. _She'll come eventually…_ Until then, Elsa continued to play, her voice ringing out in the empty ballroom.

_"But you only need the light when it's burning low,_

_ Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,_

_ Only know you love her when you let her go._

_ Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,_

_ Only hate the road when you're missing home,_

_ Only know you love her when you let her go…"_

Elsa sensed someone standing behind her, and she knew it was Anna. She had to resist turning around to face her sister, because for one of the rare moments in her life, Elsa was afraid to tell Anna how she felt. She didn't know why, because she knew her sister felt the same way. _But I lied to her._

_"…And you let her go."_

Elsa finished the song just barely holding back the tears that filled her eyes.

"I'll never get over how beautifully you play," Anna said as she took a seat next to her sister on the piano bench. God, it felt like a complete repeat of last night, except this time Elsa wasn't drunk.

"Thanks," Elsa barely got out.

"Play another song…for me." Elsa looked over at Anna and their eyes met. Anna could see how dark Elsa's eyes were. They looked more like a navy color now, and they conveyed so much sadness and regret it broke Anna's heart.

Elsa began playing the slow melody. The song was simple for the piano, as she repeated the same rhythm for most of the song, with only slight variations in the notes and chords here and there. Anna recognized the song immediately. It was another one that Elsa used to sing to her when they were younger.

_"I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that._

_ And words fall through me, and always fool me, and I can't react._

_ And games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out."_

Anna joined in softly with Elsa, and the girls never broke eye contact with each other as they sang together.

_"Take this sinking boat, and point it home, we've still got time._

_ Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you'll make it now._

_ Falling slowly, eyes that know me, and I can't go back._

_ Moods that take me, and erase me, and I'm painted black."_

And Elsa really was slowly falling even more in love with Anna with each word of the song, with each note she played, and with every time their eyes met. And for some reason, Elsa stopped playing. Her mind was becoming too clouded by all the thoughts and emotions swirling inside her. But before Anna could say anything, Elsa immediately started back up, and in the second verse it was only Anna singing.

_"And you have suffered enough, and warred with yourself._

_ It's time that you've won._

_ Take this sinking boat, and point it home, we've still got time._

_ Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you've made it now…"_

Anna smiled when Elsa joined her again to finish the song, and wondered if she could ever be more in love with someone than she was now.

_"Falling slowly, sing your melody,_

_ I'll sing it loud…"_

Elsa played the last few chords of the song, and the two girls sat in silence for a few moments, listening as the sound of the notes faded away.

"Look, Anna," Elsa began, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for uh, what happened last night."

"I thought you didn't remember."

"I didn't want to talk about it at the moment. Anna, I was hung over, and I didn't know what you thought of it. But you need to understand that I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing. However…" Elsa turned towards Anna, and placed her legs on either side of the piano bench so she could give her younger sister her full attention. "…I'm not drunk now, and I know exactly what I'm doing. Anna, this is wrong…whatever happened between us last night…it shouldn't have happened. But do you think I care? All I knew was that in that moment, everything felt so _right_, and I didn't want it to end."

"Neither did I. Elsa…believe me, I know we shouldn't be feeling this way about each other. But we were isolated from each other for ten years! We didn't know what to do when we were reunited," Anna replied, turning to face Elsa. "Call it fate, call it a coincidence, call it circumstance - ,"

"I don't believe in coincidences," Elsa interjected, shooting a soft smile towards Anna, and the younger girl could've sworn she felt her heart turn to absolute mush inside her.

"Then what do you make of this?" Anna asked as she met Elsa's deep, capturing blue eyes.

"Well…I just think that our cards are on the table." Elsa leaned forward the few inches that were separating them and rested her forehead against Anna's. There was a drop in the temperature surrounding them again, yet despite the frigid air Anna felt extremely warm next to Elsa. "And we are both showing hearts," Elsa finished, before closing the distance between their lips.

Anna instinctively wrapped her arms around Elsa's shoulders as she felt her older sister sling an arm around her waist, pressing into the small of her back to push them closer together. Anna shuddered a little under Elsa's touch, and she felt her stomach churn as Elsa ran her tongue along her bottom lip. She needed to be even closer to Elsa. She wanted more of Elsa. _Screw it, _Anna thought as she repositioned herself so that now she was sitting in Elsa's lap, straddling the older girl. She didn't care that she was only wearing a light nightdress. She didn't care that Elsa was in worn out pants and a black tank top. _Some princesses we are, _she thought.

Anna forgot about all her worries. She forgot about how Darce abused her. And she forgot about how she hadn't seen her sister for ten years. She knew, just from this kiss, that Elsa loved her. Even though she might not be able to say it now, Anna didn't need to hear it to know. And she respected Elsa for being reserved with those three words, because she knew how afraid her sister was that she wouldn't truly mean them. If anything, it only made Anna love her even more.

Anna opened her mouth slightly, letting Elsa deepen the kiss, and she let out a small moan as she felt Elsa's tongue explore her mouth. Their tongues danced and fought for dominance, which was a battle easily won for Elsa, and Anna only felt the hunger in the pit of her stomach grow stronger as it made its way down to her core.

Elsa felt the same heat within her too, and before she did something stupid like try to have sex with her sister on a piano bench – although she admitted to herself that that would be extremely hot – she broke away from the kiss.

Both girls were breathing heavily, their breaths mixing into one white puff of air, and snowflakes began to fall slowly.

"Elsa, I'm freezing," Anna said, still flushed from their kiss, still straddling Elsa, and still very much aroused.

"Sorry," Elsa breathed. "It happens." Elsa rested her hands on Anna's thighs, and the redhead had to bite her lower lip to suppress a moan that was welling up inside her.

"Did you regret that?" Anna asked.

Elsa smiled up at her younger sister. Quite frankly, she didn't know what to say. No, of course she didn't regret it. But if she talked, she couldn't be sure of what would come out of her mouth, but Elsa guessed it would be all the reasons why they couldn't be together. So instead, Elsa pulled Anna towards her again. It was a softer, more tender kiss than their previous one, which was more aggressive and wanting. And when Elsa pulled away and looked into Anna's eyes, the redhead didn't need an answer, because everything she needed to know was being conveyed to her through Elsa's expressive eyes.

_I love you Anna. _

* * *

**A/N: Awwww Elsanna! Haha...so I have something planned in the next couple chapters before we jump to Elsa's coronation (I think you'll hate me at first, but then you'll love me again!)**

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites... You all are so great! I'm really enjoying writing this fic!**

**Again, always be sure to tell me what you think...I've received some constructive criticism, which is amazing and I always welcome it! I've also enjoyed answering some of your questions...just PM me if you do have any.**

**Also, if there's anything you'd like to see in the story involving Elsa and Anna's relationship, just PM me an I will try to incorporate it into the story. I love hearing your input!**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


	11. Spend My Whole Life

**A/N: Sorry for the delayed update...I've had a lot of stuff to deal with regarding school xD**

**Anyway, here's a nice long chapter, passing the 9,000 word mark wow! I really let myself go with this one. **

**Elsa and Anna have a talk (it's fluffy and cute and emotional :D), and Elsanna intensifies!**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

Chapter 11 – Spend My Whole Life

"_This was over before, before it ever began. Your lips, your lies, your lust, like the devil's in your hands." – Feel Good Drag, by Anberlin _

**Trigger warning: Depiction of torture, as well as mentions of torture and depression in the character of Elsa.**

**One week later**

It had been one week since their last kiss. One week since they last saw each other. One week since they had last spoken a word to one another.

Elsa was purposely avoiding Anna, and the redhead was furious at her older sister. She didn't want this to happen again. Every night she had gone to Elsa's door and begged her to come out and at least talk to her about whatever was bothering her. But none of her efforts worked. Anna was especially worried too, since Elsa had taken all her stuff out of her room. Her older sister was now locked away in her old room, and Anna feared Elsa would do something she'd regret like try to hurt herself again.

Anna could barely handle one week now. She could never remember how she survived ten years of this…of not seeing her sister. Now that they were reunited, it only made sense that they would see each other every day. After all, they were sisters! They were supposed to spend time with each other. But what had set Anna off even more was that Elsa had decided to take part in some political decisions with Talbot…in between the times when she was either in the dungeon with Darce or shut in her room. Elsa claimed it was to get herself situated with the "responsibility of being queen", but Anna knew it was just to make excuses so she wouldn't have to see her.

However, spending a week alone, Anna had plenty of time to think. She had talked about some of it with Silas, but for the most part, she wanted to find out the answers from Elsa herself. She thought back to how Elsa told her she had murdered many people. _But just how many? And how could she really not feel any guilt? _Anna thought about her older sister's powers too. _Was she really trained to use them to destroy? Is killing the only thing she knows how to do now? _

But the worst of them all was the thought about how Silas said there were many girls before Belle. _Which means I can't be anything special to her. _Anna remembered how Elsa admitted she never really loved Belle. _But she told her she did…wait, Anna you don't know if Elsa said that for sure. But what if she did? Then that means she didn't feel anything behind the words. _And Anna was frightened by the idea of it…by the idea of how many girls Elsa said those three words to but didn't mean any of them. _So how could she possibly love me?_

She wanted to do nothing more than bombard Elsa with all these questions and demand answers from her, but she knew that would be futile. Elsa wasn't someone who answered things like these without any hesitation. It would take a while for Anna to know the whole truth, she knew that. But she also knew Elsa would have no choice at some point if they really wanted to mend the broken bond between them and, Anna hoped, have a relationship with each other.

Anna leaned back against Elsa's bedroom door and let out a long, frustrated sigh. She needed Elsa to talk to her. She needed answers. And the redhead knew that Elsa was currently in the dungeon with Darce. And whatever she was doing to him, Anna didn't want to know. It also scared her to even think of Elsa having the capability to torture another human…but what was truly disturbing: She _enjoyed _it. Anna would never be able to wrap her brain around that. She couldn't even picture Elsa harming another person. _Clearly there are a lot of things I still don't know about her. _

So she waited. She didn't know how much longer Elsa would be, but she promised herself she would wait as long as it took. To Anna, Elsa was always someone worth waiting for. And once Elsa returned, she'd have no choice but to answer to her younger sister.

* * *

"I hope - ," a strike with the whip, "you never thought - ," another lash, "I'd take it easy on you- ," two quick lashes, "just because we had a sentimental talk." Elsa allowed her muscles to relax slightly as she ran her hand along the length of the whip, wiping the blood off in the process. "And please, you still have six more to go."

"I…shou-should've known…" Darce barely got the words out. He thought he'd be able to handle the whipping, considering Elsa was only going to give him ten lashes. But, _damn, _Elsa was so much stronger than he thought. The first time the whip hit his back it drew blood. And it only got worse from there. He was only four lashes in, and he could already feel the steady flow of blood down his back.

"I think I made it pretty clear that I'm going to kill you. So you really shouldn't be surprised. And don't worry, there might be things that happen in the near future that will speed up that process for you."

"Thank…God."

Elsa only laughed mockingly in return. "I know…I can't imagine what you must be going through. What did you tell me the other day? When you were bragging to me about how you violated my sister? Was it that you gave her thirty five lashings in one day? Yeah…I think that was it. We'll work our way up to that Darce."

"If she s-saw you…now…"

"Yeah…I know," Elsa let out dryly. "Now come on, six more won't hurt."

Darce braced himself for the impact of the whip, but it did nothing for him. When the whip cracked against his skin, he tried to hold back his cry of pain, but to no avail. He groaned loudly through clenched teeth as the whip came down again, and again, and again, until finally Elsa was done. Darce couldn't support himself through the pain, and he collapsed onto the ground breathing heavily and letting out small whimpers to show his distress.

"Come on, I can't imagine it was that bad," Elsa said.

"You don't…kn-know this…p-pain."

"Please," Elsa deadpanned. "You don't think Aeron had his way with me sometimes? He acted all nice and charming, but if I did something he didn't like… He gave me more than ten. Sometimes he beat me just to let off some steam. You really shouldn't assume things like that Darce…You don't know anything about my past."

The flashbacks immediately overtook Elsa's mind. She had just turned fifteen when it started, and Aeron was trying to teach her more self-control, seeing as she acted impulsively a lot, always looking to eliminate her problems instead of facing them first. Well, taking multiple beatings and whippings every month certainly got that idea into her head.

She had started losing respect for Aeron when he did that to her. While teaching her to have self-control, he was lacking it himself whenever he beat her. But she gritted her teeth and toughed through it. Showing weakness was only fuel for Aeron, she learned. _Also something you haven't told Anna yet, you lying jerk. How can you expect her to trust you when you can't even fucking tell her your past? You're a fucking disgrace. _

That only brought more guilt to Elsa, and she knew she needed to get away for a bit before she broke down in front of Darce. He didn't need to see her in a moment of vulnerability. And now that she thought about it, Anna was the only person who had really seen her cry. The tears she shed in front of Anna…she couldn't fake any of that. Elsa had truly felt the sadness in her heart when she thought about how afraid Anna would be of her if she ever saw her use her powers for something negative.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Elsa got out, tossing the whip aside, not even bothering to wipe the blood off her hands.

* * *

"Anna?"

Anna's head shot up at the sound of her sister's voice. She looked up and saw Elsa had stopped walking towards her. She was bursting with emotions when she laid her eyes on Elsa. She was so happy to finally see her again. The few times they'd encountered each other over the last week had been brief, no longer than a minute, and they hadn't even talked to each other. But that's where Anna's joy stopped, as her heart fell when she saw the blood that was splattered over Elsa's white shirt as well as her hands.

"Can we talk?" Anna asked.

"Um…well - ,"

"Actually…we need to talk. And we're going to…right now," Anna corrected.

"Anna, I really need to - ,"

"You really need to what Elsa?" Anna shot back, standing up from her position on the floor. "You need to shut yourself in your room? You need to hurt yourself? You need to go off and torture Darce again? What could you possibly need to do right now?"

Elsa resumed her journey to her bedroom door, disregarding Anna's harshness towards her, and she pushed past Anna so she could reach the handle. As soon as she laid her hand over it, frost immediately spread outwards. She ignored it for the moment and pushed her door open, barely resisting the urge to slam it in Anna's face.

"I didn't wait three hours for this," Anna muttered, forcing her way into Elsa's room.

"Anna, what the fuck?" Elsa fired at her younger sister.

"No Elsa, I'm done with this. You have been purposely avoiding me for the last week, and I want to know why… Wait, it's not even that. I want to know_ everything_ Elsa, and you promised you'd tell me. Well, I hate to break it to ya, but you didn't. You've left out so many things, and I'm beginning to feel like I can't trust you."

"Anna…I wasn't avoiding you because I regret what happened between us," Elsa started, and Anna felt relief course through her. "I was avoiding you because I needed time to think about how I would answer your questions. What you're asking of me…it's a lot…and I don't think I could get through some things from my past. But I want to try…for you, because you deserve to know."

"I'm sorry," Anna replied, immediately feeling badly for snapping at her sister. "I shouldn't have assumed so quickly. Wow, I'm such an idiot…"

"Don't say that. Anna, I want this." Elsa briefly motioned to both of them. "I want…whatever we could be, just as much as you do. But we can't - ,"

"Why?"

"Well to start things off…_we're sisters. _Siblings. Related. We aren't supposed so feel this way for each other. Plus, you're only sixteen Anna. You have a long time to make a decision of whom you want to be with…whom you want to fall in love with. We rushed into things. We acted on our attraction for each other. We weren't thinking. We - ,"

"Elsa do you hear yourself right now? You're trying to find every reason for us not to be together, and it's ridiculous! I fell in love with you the moment I saw you when you rescued me from that tower," Anna said. "And you can't tell me differently. At first I thought I could be falling for Kristoff, but then I saw you… And I just _knew. _Everything felt so _right _when I was with you after that. I couldn't picture myself being in love with anyone else."

"I just…maybe you were feeling that way…but I don't know how I felt. Part of me wants to believe that we could work, but another part of me doesn't know if I'm really _feeling. _I've…okay, I'm just going to say this, and I'm sorry if it hurts you in any way - ,"

"Yeah, I think honesty would be a good place to start," Anna interrupted, a chilling tone to her voice. Her heart was melting by Elsa's words, but she didn't want to give in just yet. She didn't want to make her sister think she was someone who forgave easily, and she needed to keep this up for a little while longer.

"I've kissed…a lot of girls, and I never felt…anything. I wanted to say I could fall for one of them, but there was just nothing there. And it scared me a little bit too. That's why I'm so confused with you Anna. When…when I kissed you, something was stirring in my chest. It felt like my heart was exploding, and I didn't know what to make of it. And I just needed to think about it. I needed to get my feelings straightened out…if I have any…but I wanted to be more cautious with you, and I still do," Elsa explained as best as she could.

"You know what would really help us?" Anna asked. Elsa raised an eyebrow, so she continued. "Getting to know each other again. We were separated for a long time, and I feel like we don't even remember who we are anymore."

"Okay?" Elsa responded a little confused as to what Anna was really suggesting.

"So, I want you to change your shirt and wash your hands. I don't even want to know what you did to Darce. Just…go change."

"You're not making any sense," Elsa said as she walked over to her wardrobe. She grabbed one of her nicer black button downs, and laid it on her bed as she began to unbutton her current shirt.

Elsa was by no means self-conscious about her body…at all. All the physical training she did while she was in the Southern Isles paid off. Although her back was turned to her younger sister, Anna could still see Elsa's shoulder muscles flexing as she tossed the shirt onto her bed. She drank in the sight of Elsa's sides contracting slightly as she went to grab the clean shirt, and she knew they no doubt led to a perfectly sculpted abdomen. And she felt the growing urge to just…take her sister right then and there. _Jeez, I really have it bad._

Yet, Anna's moment of…what was this? Attraction? Lust? Whatever it was, it was squashed by yet another disturbing discovery about her sister. The curtains were closed, but a small sliver of sun still found its way through at the top. The light drifted into the room, and the beam fell over Elsa's smooth, pale skin. That is…smooth and pale until it reached certain areas of her back. And Anna realized just how much explaining Elsa had to do about her past, as she saw slight blemishes and scars running up and down Elsa's back. Some were longer or shorter than others, but they all conveyed the same heartbreaking message. _Christ, Elsa what happened to you?_

Anna's daze was snapped when Elsa shifted back around, buttoning the last couple buttons as she made her way to the bathroom to wash her hands off. _I probably should have done it before putting on a clean shirt, _Elsa thought. _Eh, whatever, it's black…_

"Okay," Elsa said as she emerged from the bathroom, "what were you really suggesting when you said 'Get to know each other'."

"Nothing sexual," Anna replied giggling. "Unless you want it to be."

"We can talk about something like that later on," Elsa said.

_Did she really just say that? Is she actually serious about something like that? Okay wow, Anna, focus… _"Okay then…let's take a walk."

"Uh…where?"

"The garden of course," Anna said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's big, and it's secluded, so we don't have to worry about anyone bothering us."

"Somehow I feel like this really _is _supposed to be sexual," Elsa replied, and she found herself unconsciously taking Anna's hands in her own.

Anna immediately noticed the contact, as Elsa's hands were cool to the touch, and she knew she shouldn't give in to Elsa so quickly after being upset with her for a long period of time, but she couldn't help it. She began to rise up to Elsa, and had every intention to kiss her older sister, but she was stopped by a hand being laid over her chest, pushing her away slightly.

"No," Elsa said. "Let's go to the garden and…talk, just like you wanted. Then…and only _then, _will we talk about this." Elsa motioned to the small space between them again before returning her hand to its previous place on her sister's chest, and Anna noticed how Elsa's other hand was still holding her own, and she smiled at that realization.

"You keep motioning to us…what are you trying to say?" Anna asked, a playful grin creeping onto her face.

"Okay…we're going to the garden now," Elsa answered, dismissing Anna's question.

Elsa had let go of Anna's hand at some point during their walk to the garden, and Anna pouted slightly at this. But the walk was awkward, as they had to explain a number of times why they were going to the garden in the first place and then why they were suddenly talking to each other again. The staff had taken notice when the two sisters had abruptly stopped interacting with each other. However, Elsa knew exactly what to say, and had told them they were still rebuilding their relationship, which was…half of the truth, but enough for now.

And when they were finally alone, Anna wasted no time with Elsa, pulling her older sister towards her by the collar of her shirt. Elsa was certainly shocked at first when their lips met, but she found herself slowly melting into the feel and taste of her sister's lips, and her hands had found their way down to Anna's hips to pull her sister closer to her. But the moment was short lived, as Elsa pulled away quickly and locked eyes with Anna.

"What did I say?" Elsa said, her voice coming out a little lower and harsher than she had intended.

"Sorry…"

"Don't be. Just…wait a little bit okay?" Elsa planted a soft kiss on Anna's cheek before leading her younger sister over to one of the benches in the garden.

The scene was quiet and peaceful, and since it was the beginning of summer, the flowers were in full bloom and there were birds chirping in the trees. Elsa relaxed immediately as she remembered how much time she spent out here during her isolation from Anna. True, the bad memories were always with her, but the garden was secluded and when Elsa was younger, it was the only place she could go and not worry about hurting anyone with her powers.

Anna wanted to ask Elsa what happened when they were younger, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to form the words. She didn't even know how she would ask something like that. _Oh hey Elsa, so what happened that made you shut yourself away from me for three years? Yeah…that would go over well. _She was also afraid of how Elsa would react. She knew her older sister wanted to tell her, but Anna knew how much this memory was destroying Elsa inside.

"Uh…Elsa?" Anna got out, and soon her sister's blue eyes were fixed on her own. "So uh…about getting to know each other again…"

"Anna, I don't think we should start with…well - ,"

"The bad things from your past?" Anna finished for her.

"I guess you could put it that way. Let's start with the simple things okay?" Elsa gave her younger sister a reassuring smile, and placed her legs on either side of the bench so she could fully face Anna.

"Okay…um, what's your favorite color?"

"Really Anna?"

"Hey! You said to start with the simple things, and knowing your favorite color is important to me! So what is it?"

"Probably blue… I also like purple," Elsa answered. "What about you?"

"Either green or orange. But like…a sunset kind of orange. It's a beautiful color…but not nearly as beautiful as you," Anna said.

"Seriously?" Elsa gave back, laughing lightly at her sister's attempts to flirt with her. Although, she did find them extremely endearing and adorable, but she'd never let Anna have the satisfaction of knowing that. "You really need to work on that."

"Well sorry those compliments aren't up to your standards! So anyway…um…favorite food?"

"You can't possibly ask me that," Elsa said with a light tone in her voice. "I love food. There's too much of it for me to choose an absolute favorite. But I know your favorite is chocolate."

"Y-you remembered?"

"How could I not? You devour anything that's chocolate. You could probably eat it for all three meals a day and not complain," Elsa replied, smiling at Anna.

"Yeah…I probably could! It's just uh…wow, I wouldn't expect you to remember something like that. It's uh, cool…Wow okay, that was definitely not the word I was looking for. And you're so sweet and that was cute you remembered…Okay, I'm rambling now aren't I? I'm so awkward…and wow, you're so gorgeous. But you know that, because I've told you before…and I'm sure - ,"

Anna was silenced by a pair of lips covering her own. _Oh my God, Elsa's kissing me. Well, she's kissed me before, so I don't know why this feels so different and wow she's so perfect._ Anna went to move closer to her sister and deepen their kiss, but she was stopped short yet again by Elsa's hand on her chest.

"I uh…I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry," Elsa said, darting her eyes away from Anna's face.

As much as Anna wanted to continue their little talk of 'getting to know each other again', and as much as she loved her sister, she found herself instantly set off by Elsa's apology.

"No, Elsa…why are you always sorry? You didn't do anything wrong!" She knew it was unfair to get upset with Elsa, especially over something as mundane as this, but she couldn't hold back. She wanted Elsa to admit to herself she was in love with her.

Elsa stood up suddenly and began pacing, which made Anna grow increasingly nervous. She followed her sister over to a nearby tree, and decided she really couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't handle not being told the answers she needed from Elsa. Anna grabbed Elsa by the arm and spun her around so they were facing each other again.

"Why are you so against this?" Anna asked harshly, motioning to the space between them like Elsa had done earlier.

"Do you have any idea of what the consequences are of this?" Elsa shot back through gritted teeth. "Not everyone will be as accepting as Silas. They won't understand, and they won't even make an effort to try. More negatives will come from this than positives."

"Okay…Elsa, you need to stop worrying about other people right now," Anna said, trying to calm her voice as well as her sister.

"But they'll hurt you Anna. If they found out…they'd try to kill you!"

"That's not the consequence you're worried about is it Elsa? Please…_please _be honest with me right now. You can tell me anything Elsa. You can _trust _me."

"I…"

"Look at me Elsa," Anna said. She took her sister's face in her hands, and soon their eyes met. "I want you to focus on me…just me right now okay? Look at me and don't think about anything or anyone else. Just…think about whatever feelings you may have for me, and tell me what you're really afraid of. I want to trust you Elsa."

"And you can trust me," Elsa replied, resting her head back against the trunk of the tree, closing her eyes for a brief moment and taking a deep breath before returning her sight to Anna. "You have no idea how badly I want this to work…how badly I want _us _to work. I've never felt like this before, and I've told you why I'm so nervous about this. I need to know these feelings are real, because I don't want you to have your heart set on me. I don't…" Elsa's words trailed off for a moment as she tried to hold back the tears that were begging to be released. "I don't want to hurt you…"

Both girls were a bit shocked at the confession. Yes, Anna had known Elsa had hurt her when they were younger, but she wasn't sure what exactly happened. She had also heard Elsa tell her that she wanted to be cautious with her feelings. But to hear her sister say the words out loud, to hear the emotions behind them, the sadness, the guilt, the pain, it was heartbreaking for Anna.

"But there are so many other people out there who will try to do that Anna. If I give into these feelings…if I give into _you_…I can't even imagine the danger I'd be putting you in. It's like no matter what I do, I'll end up hurting you somehow, and - ,"

"Elsa, stop," Anna said, cutting her sister off. "You won't hurt me. I've told you before, and I'll always say it…I know this for a fact. I also know that no one else can hurt me. You know why?"

"Because I'll protect you," Elsa answered quietly.

"Exactly. So now…I want you to only focus on me again okay? I'm serious Elsa. You need to stop worrying about other people."

Elsa smiled down at Anna, and the redhead just realized how much taller her sister was. She had a good three or four inches on her. Anna cursed their height difference, but was immediately distracted by Elsa placing her hand on the side of her neck. Her sister's fingers were cool, and Anna shuddered ever so slightly at the touch. Anna instinctively wrapped her arms around Elsa's shoulders, feeling how her sister's muscles contracted slightly, and soon the redhead linked her own fingers together as they found their destination in between Elsa's shoulder blades.

"Are you thinking about anything except us being here now?" Anna asked softly.

"Just you," Elsa whispered, her voice ghosting over Anna's face with a chilly air, sending a shiver down the younger girl's spine.

"Good…and you're okay with how we are right now?" Anna inched closer, a movement that didn't go unnoticed by Elsa.

Elsa knew she shouldn't be doing this. She knew she needed to be honest with Anna and just tell her what she deserved to know. But she couldn't bring herself to do that right now. She wasn't sure if they could ever really work. Their clashing personalities were a recipe for disaster to begin with. Elsa knew there would be arguments between them in the future. They'd fight and isolate from each other every so often, Elsa could already see it coming. And she also knew that they'd run into troubles with her powers. She knew Anna would be afraid of her. _No you stupid fuck…you don't know that for sure. She said she would accept you and love you no matter what. _But Anna was saying that now. Elsa couldn't imagine how her sister would react if she actually saw Elsa hurt another person with her ice.

But right now, in this moment, Elsa promised herself to try her best for Anna, because that's what she deserved, and because she loved her.

"Anna?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to kiss you now," Elsa said.

"I'm perfectly fine with that." _Christ, Elsa, why are you so adorable? You're literally perfect. Can we just get married right now? Wow, okay Anna, don't get ahead of yourself. Just focus on the now._

And with that, Elsa leaned forward so their lips could meet. This wasn't anything like that night in the ballroom. Yes, that kiss had been deep…and extremely arousing for Anna, but it had only been in a fit of attraction they both felt that led Elsa to initiate that moment. But this kiss…it was so different. It even _felt _different. There was so much more love and passion behind it, and Anna never wanted it to end.

Elsa slipped her other arm around Anna, and pressed her hand into the small of her back, pushing Anna so their bodies were now flush against each other.

Anna took control this time, tracing her tongue along Elsa's bottom lip, and the older girl willingly granted Anna the access she wanted. But before Anna had the chance to explore her sister's mouth, Elsa had quickly flipped their positions. Now the redhead was backed against the tree, her arms were pinned above her head, and she barely had a second to catch her breath before Elsa's mouth was over hers again.

The older girl playfully nipped at Anna's lower lip before forcing her tongue into the redhead's mouth. Elsa moved her hands back down to Anna's waist, and she felt her younger sister shudder under her touch. That was all the motivation Elsa needed, and she ventured her tongue around Anna's mouth and quickly gained dominance over the younger girl. Anna let out a groan of pleasure as her grip on Elsa's shoulders tightened, and she felt one of Elsa's hands slide over her stomach, moving its way down to her already heated core, while Elsa's other hand began to slowly hike her dress up. _God, Elsa please keep going, _Anna thought.

Elsa moved her mouth from Anna's, leaving the redhead gasping for air, and began trailing small kisses over her jawline and down her neck until she stopped where Anna's neck and collarbone met. She rolled her tongue over the skin, which earned her a few small moans from Anna, before she bit down ever so softly.

"Nnngh…Elsa…" Anna gasped, still slightly out of breath. She tightened her grip even more on her sister's shoulders, her nails digging into the muscled flesh. She was becoming more aroused with each passing second, and she didn't want Elsa to stop. She felt Elsa smile against her skin, and soon their lips were joined again, Elsa's body trapping her against the trunk of the tree. Their bodies were so close and Anna was _so _aroused that she didn't even notice her own hands wandering from Elsa's shoulders down across her chest. She wanted more of Elsa. She wanted _all _of Elsa, and she found the top buttons of Elsa's shirt and began to undo them.

"Fuck," Elsa said, immediately separating their lips. "No…Anna…no no no no no." She took Anna's hands off her chest and held them in her own, and it was in that moment Elsa realized just how _low _her right hand had gone on her sister.

"Elsa - ,"

"No. Anna, do you have any idea what…what could have happened just now?"

"Well duh," Anna said, moving her hands from Elsa's so they were resting on the older girl's shoulders again. "And I - ,"

"No…we are not doing anything like that yet."

"Yet?" Anna repeated, raising an eyebrow at her sister. "So you mean you want to though, right?"

"Not now…" Elsa said softly.

"Later?"

"Anna, I don't think you know how big of a decision you're making with this. You're telling yourself you're in love with me and that you want to be with me. Hell…you just implied you want to have sex with me! Do you have any idea what that would mean for us?"

"You're taking this so seriously now Elsa. From what I remember you telling me, you never really took sex seriously to begin with," Anna retorted. "In fact, you never took anyone's feelings so seriously anyway."

"I know…Anna I don't want to be like that though. I'm trying…for you. You deserve someone who can love you, someone who can protect you and care about you, who can do nice things for you and treat you like the princess you are. And that someone isn't me."

"Christ, Elsa do you even listen to yourself? Why are you shooting down something good that can happen to you? I'm standing here telling you I'm in love with you and you tell me that can't be possible. But it is, okay? Elsa, I fell for you the second I saw you. Does it bother me that you aren't telling me a lot of things from your past? Yes, it does. But I'm putting that aside, because I know we'll have plenty of time for that later on, and I also know that many things won't be so easy for you to talk about. I respect your decision to be cautious Elsa, as frustrated as it makes me, I'll put up with it…because I love you."

"Anna…it's not that," Elsa said. "I'm ready to tell you whatever you want to know. I'll get through it. It's the_ things_ I'll tell you though…you'll be afraid of me, you'll hate me. How can you love a murderer? How can you love someone who tortures people? How can you love _me_? I'm trying so hard Anna. I don't want to hurt you again, and I don't want to lose you. We can't be this close simply because of what I've become. People fear me Anna. I'm a monster and - ,"

"Please don't call yourself that ever again," Anna interrupted. "Promise me please?"

"I…but I…I promise," Elsa said softly, resting her forehead against her sister's.

"And don't break this one," Anna replied.

"Anna, we need to talk about something," Elsa said abruptly.

"Um…okay?"

"It's about well…what happened just now." Elsa pulled away from Anna, and lowered herself so she was sitting on the ground with her back leaning against the tree.

"Oh…uh, okay. And you know, I'm totally up for continuing that," Anna said, taking a seat next to her sister.

"See that's the thing…I am too. But, I don't think you really know what you're asking from me with something like that. Also, I don't think you're even ready to make a decision about that. Anna…we got caught up in the moment there, and if I didn't realize what was about to happen, well… we could have had sex just now."

"Elsa, if there's anyone I want that with…it's you."

"No Anna, you don't understand. Okay…I'm just going to say it: Darce raped you Anna. He took your innocence, your pride…everything when he did that. He violated the most intimate part of you Anna. And you holding this in won't help you. I've been through enough traumatizing moments in my life to know that holding the pain and anger in never results in anything positive!

"You…you need to tell me about it, because I'll listen, and I'll help you. And then, only then, can we talk about our future together. Because I'll tell you now Anna, the future doesn't look so good. Only Silas knows, and now you will too…I'm planning to get revenge on the Southern Isles. For what they did to the other kingdoms, for what they did to you, and for what they did to me. This won't happen until after I have my coronation, but I'm telling you now just so you know. This is something that will put a wedge between us on top of all the other things that will do that anyway."

"So you want me to tell you…" Anna said, that being the only thing she really focused on.

"Look, I'm not asking for you to do that right this second, but it'd be a good thing to do."

"How do you know that if you've never done it?"

"I…" Elsa trailed off. She knew Anna was right. _She's right about a lot of things with me. _"I would just imagine it'd be good to get it all out. I know that when I tell you what happened to me, a weight will be lifted off my chest. I've been dragged down by my past for my whole life, and I know that having you there to support me will help…I just know."

"Fine…but you first. You have a lot more things troubling you than I do," Anna said.

"Uh…okay…what do you want me to start with?" _Wow, you fucking dolt, you just made it sound like you could choose and it wouldn't matter. You have so much explaining to do with her. _

"There's that much huh?" Anna returned, her teal eyes darkening slightly as the sadness hit her. She knew Elsa was troubled and had some terrible things happen to her. But she didn't know her sister could basically sort through them all…like they were all filed and stored in her mind. Anna had to fight the urge to wrap her arms around Elsa and never let her go. God knew Elsa needed someone who loved her. And Anna vowed to be that someone.

"A lot more than you think. So what do you want to know?"

_What happened when we were younger? _But she couldn't ask that now. If she had to guess, Anna would say that's the worst memory Elsa has kept with her all these years. Requiring an answer to a question like that would have to wait for a better time…maybe when they were sure they had rebuilt the bond between them. Something like this memory, from what Anna had taken away from Elsa's behavior about it, needed absolute trust and commitment from both of them.

Elsa moved from her position of reclining against the tree to sitting cross legged facing Anna. She wanted to make sure they both had each other's full attention, and she also wanted to look directly at Anna. She wasn't going to hold back. As much as Anna might be frightened, saddened, or angered by some of the things Elsa would tell her, the older girl promised not to omit anything. They needed to trust each other if…well, if they wanted to have a relationship with each other.

"Uh…well…this," Anna said, quickly moving behind her sister. Before Elsa had the chance to turn around, Anna took her hands and slid them under her sister's shirt, lifting the material slightly to reveal the beginnings of some of the scars on Elsa's back. Elsa only let out a small sigh, and when she made no effort to stop Anna, the redhead continued sliding the shirt up, and her eyes welled up with tears as the scars continued to show.

Elsa quickly unbuttoned her shirt, and shrugged it off her shoulders, letting the material fall to the ground. She heard Anna behind her inhale sharply as all the scars were exposed to the younger girl.

"I hope this isn't a clever idea to undress me," Elsa said, trying to lighten the situation slightly. A small giggle from her sister confirmed she had succeeded, and Elsa smiled briefly.

Anna hesitantly reached her arm out and gently ran her hand along Elsa's back. She felt Elsa's muscles tense every time she lingered on one of the scars, and once she had gone over all of them she draped her arms around Elsa's shoulders and placed a small kiss on her sister's cheek.

"I know…they look pretty ugly… - ," Elsa started.

"No, don't say that," Anna interrupted. She leaned back slightly, and placed her lips over one of the many scars that covered Elsa's back.

And in that moment, Elsa felt her heart clenching in her chest. She didn't understand why she was trying to come up with every reason for them not to be together, why she was still trying to keep her distance with Anna. Clearly her sister loved her more than anything, and Elsa returned that love. Even if it wasn't evident now, and even if she couldn't say it, Elsa knew she truly loved Anna. She felt safe with Anna. She knew her sister would never break her heart…and Elsa only wished she could say the same to Anna.

Elsa placed one of her hands over the pair that rested against her chest, and she felt Anna smile against her skin. She took a deep breath, and brought Anna's hands to her lips and placed a light kiss on her sister's skin before she began to speak.

"It was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday. I honestly can't tell you what happened to cause it, because I really don't know, but something in Aeron snapped. He took me by surprise one day…throwing a few punches at me before he knocked me unconscious. When I woke up, my hands were tied up and I was in a cell in the dungeon…much like Darce is right now.

"I had never seen Aeron so angry before. He was always kind to me and took care of me well. He never harmed me before this. And it scared me. I just remember him telling me that I was going to 'learn some self-control.' I thought that's what he had been teaching me the last two years. But then he explained that I couldn't just destroy my problems before I even faced them – I had a tendency to act on instinct and use my powers to my advantage on a lot of occasions.

"He said that getting rid of my problems was the easy way out, and that it would only make me a coward later on. He wanted me to face my fears and anything that came at me with bravery and strength." Elsa paused to collect her thoughts for a moment, and clenched her jaw tightly for a few seconds as the images came flashing back in her mind: The whip in Aeron's hand, the murderous look in his eyes, the fear in _her _eyes, the strength with which he whipped her, the feel of the blood dripping down her back, the stinging, excruciating pain with each lash…the way she had to grit her teeth and tough it out.

"I wasn't sure how multiple whippings would teach me that," she continued with no emotion behind her voice, "but I guess it did teach me how to suppress my powers – that was always something I struggled with…and still do. Letting my powers take control only led to more lashes, more pain, more blood…" Elsa's words tailed off as the flashbacks overpowered her. "God...there was... so much blood…"

Elsa saw herself lying there on the stone floor of the dungeon, the blood completely covering and staining her back from all the lashes Aeron had given her. The torn flesh that hung off some of the wounds, and the way Aeron had kept going over those spots. She saw the blood pooling on the ground around her, and she saw herself fainting at times because of the amount she had lost.

She dropped her head into her hands, and Anna felt the drop in temperature right before a small layer of frost appeared on the ground.

But Elsa wouldn't let herself cry. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself, and tried as hard as she could to push the images away, and soon enough the temperature rose slightly and the frost began to recede.

"It gave me a choice: That I could succumb to my ice and let it completely overtake me, or I could have absolute control over it. I want to show you something…I myself don't know what to make of it, so don't ask me how this is possible." And with that, Elsa conjured a small blade of ice in her hand and held it to her skin.

"Elsa, no! What are you doing?" Anna cried.

"Anna…trust me on this okay?" Elsa turned around to face her sister and gave her a reassuring, somewhat pleading smile.

When Anna let out a frustrated groan and sat back a little, Elsa resumed what she was going to do and dragged the blade across her arm, pushing in enough so she drew blood. She needed Anna to see this. And she knew she wouldn't have a scar tomorrow…because of the choice. She knew Anna didn't want to see her bleeding, and because of that knowledge, she let her powers take over for the moment.

Anna could only watch in absolute awe as the blood leaking from Elsa's arm suddenly froze…and then evaporated into thin air. She saw a layer of frost cover the open wound, and within seconds the cut was closed and sealed…not a trace of injury to be seen.

"What just happened?" Anna asked.

"I don't know," Elsa answered. "It's all perplexing to me really…just so strange. It's like my powers became so strong, they formed some sort of defense mechanism for my body. How weird is that?"

"When did this start?"

"I found out about it when Aeron began…well, you know…"

"And you said you can decide if you want your powers to protect you?"

"Yeah…at least, that's what it seems like. Sometimes it just happens, but if I don't really care or if - ." Elsa stopped short when she realized what she was about to say. Anna knew about her constant struggles with depression and the times she hurt herself, but she wasn't sure if she should bring something up like that.

"Or…if you had intention to hurt yourself," Anna completed. "Elsa, you know how much I hate to see you in pain. I hate when you hurt yourself. It gives me just as much pain as it does to you. I want you to know that I'm here…I'll always be here. You don't need to be consumed by your guilt anymore okay? I'm okay, and you won't hurt me."

"But you don't know that," Elsa said.

"Fine…let's say you do hurt me…then I'll forgive you. I'll never turn away from you Elsa. I'll never give up on you. I promise."

"What exactly do you see in me?" Elsa asked suddenly. She needed to know. She'd spent the last couple weeks hearing Anna say she was in love with her and that she'd never be afraid of her, but she wanted to know why she thought that and why she said those things. Elsa needed to believe her younger sister. She needed to know there really was someone out there who loved her, and she needed to know that she could love back.

"I see…I see someone who is confused. You're constantly battling with controlling your powers, and you're never sure if you can trust someone. Being isolated from people did that to you. I see someone who is afraid…afraid of hurting the one person you truly love. You're also afraid of that fact anyway: That you _can _love someone. You've been made to think you're nothing more than this powerful, murderous, emotionless shell of a person that the very thought of becoming close to someone in an intimate or loving way scares you.

"I see someone who is lost. You've been trying to find out who you really are for so long. You aren't sure if you can feel anything anymore, but then you say you do when you're with me. This also confuses you, and I'll help you to realize that you truly are a good person. You just need to believe it yourself. And in this, I see someone who is beautiful. You were tortured in the Southern Isles, and you completely forgot you had the ability to do good with your powers…and you still forget that. But you have a good heart Elsa. I know you do. You have so much love to give, but you never got the opportunity to do that. Now you do.

"But mostly…I see someone who is broken. Someone who could never escape their pain and guilt, someone who could never find a way to destroy their inner demons that were eating them alive, and someone who could never manage to put the pieces of their broken heart back together. You asked Elsa…that's what I see in you. And I love everything I see: Your smile, your eyes, your hair, your lips, your laugh, your past, your scars, your heart…all of it. All your imperfections only make you more perfect in my eyes, and they only make me love you even more."

When Anna finished, she sat back a little and looked into Elsa's eyes. She couldn't make out the emotions Elsa could possibly be feeling, which was weird because Elsa's eyes were usually so expressive. But her older sister never broke eye contact.

The silence between them stretched on, and Anna was getting nervous. _What if she hates me now? Damn, I shouldn't have told her all of that. Why do I make so many stupid mistakes?_ She was just about to be completely absorbed into her thoughts when Elsa's voice kept her tuned in.

"Did you really mean all of that?"

"Yes. Elsa, I know it's hard for you to trust people, but I'd never lie to you. I meant every word I said to you with all my heart." Anna took Elsa's hands in her own, the two girls still never breaking eye contact. "So now I want you to answer my next question…and answer it honestly: What do you see in _me_?"

Elsa was certainly surprised Anna returned her question, but for some reason she knew exactly what she wanted to say.

"Like myself, I see someone who's broken. Darce hurt you, and I think that made you less trustworthy of other people. Also, I see someone who is lonely. You talk about Kristoff a lot, but I feel like he's the only person you really trust. You were isolated from me and then I was taken from you. You lost your sister, and I can't imagine what that did to you.

"I see someone who is compassionate. I feel like you wouldn't hesitate to put someone else's needs before your own, and you wouldn't care if you were hurt in the process. I admire that about you, and I wish I could do the same. And like myself again, I see someone who is confused. You're confused about the feelings you have for me, and you're confused about what could happen between us. And in some ways, I feel like you're just as scared as I am about this.

"And don't even get me started on how beautiful you are. Not just your looks but your heart as well. You have a pure heart Anna, and it was tainted by Darce…and me… But you always put on a smiling face and hide the pain you're feeling. And unlike me, you _do _give your love, and as much as I think that's amazing, I feel like it will lead you to get hurt even more in the future. But how much you care about others and knowing how much you'd do to help someone…it's so beautiful Anna. _You're _beautiful.

"So with this…you need to decide what you want from me. In some ways, I feel like we rushed into things way too quickly. But then…I don't feel that way, even when I know how wrong this is. Because Anna, when you kiss me, when you smile at me, when you talk to me, when you look at me…nothing has ever felt more _right._ And I'll say it now: I want you Anna. I want _us. _Whatever 'us' means…I want it. Because I…Anna, I…"

"Shhh," Anna said, cutting Elsa off by pressing their lips together. "Now put your shirt back on. Wouldn't want people thinking we're anything more than sisters now would we?"

Elsa allowed herself to laugh a little before she grabbed her shirt, slipped her arms through it, and swiftly buttoned it. The two girls stood up, and Elsa made another attempt to tell Anna what she desperately wanted to.

"But Anna," Elsa started, "you need to know that I…" Elsa trailed off, but she was trying to say it, because Anna needed to know. "I just…"

Again, Anna interrupted Elsa by joining their lips. She wrapped her arms around Elsa's shoulders, bringing them closer together before she pulled away. Anna looked up into Elsa's deep blue eyes for a few moments, before she smiled at her sister and kissed her softly again.

"I know," Anna said as she nuzzled her nose into the crook of Elsa's neck. The older girl smiled, and placed her arms around Anna's slim waist, bringing her sister into a tight, warm hug.

Elsa took in the soft scent of her sister. And if Anna thought she smelled like winter, then Elsa thought Anna smelled like summer, with light traces of strawberries and soft, lingering lavender. It made Elsa feel safe. It made her feel like she really had the capability to love someone. But she needed to be able to tell Anna.

"Anna - ,"

"Elsa…you don't need to try so hard right now. All that matters is that _I know._" Elsa felt her heart swell in her chest with the way Anna looked at her in this moment. Her sister's eyes were filled with true happiness and love, and she knew that this is what she wanted. Elsa made the decision to love her sister, and she was never going back. _The past is in the past, _she thought. Now, she had the opportunity to start over with her sister.

"How do you know what I was going to say?" Elsa asked, a light, playful tone in her voice.

Anna laughed softly before responding. "How do I know you were trying to say you love me?" Anna stole another quick kiss from Elsa. "Your eyes," she finished. And in that moment Anna _knew_… _I love her. No one else. Only her. She's my world. I want her. I need her. She wants me. She needs me. She loves me. I want her forever. Until the day I die and even after that…I'll love her._

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**A/N: Aw they're so cute! Can I get 3 reviews before I upload the next chapter? Thanks! :D Always be sure to tell me what you think of the story. I always welcome constructive criticism too! I've been trying to incorporate some of your feedback as well, and I will especially put more of your suggestions into the later chapters!**

**I figure we have about two more chapters until we jump to Elsa's coronation. There will be another shorter time span that passes throughout the next couple chapters as well (I don't think we'll have any Elsanna sex or smut yet...sorry not sorry...but you never know, I might do something ;D).**

**Hope you guys are liking the story! I really enjoy writing this. It's awesome to build and develop a character like Elsa in this story... forming a dark character like this is challenging yet really fun! And adding details to Elsa's past will be interesting too (this is why I left some things out in the previous chapters...I'm not letting all of you know what happened to her during her past yet ;)**

**Looks like there will be a few more heart to hearts between Elsa and Anna in the next couple chapters...what happens after that: I guess you'll have to wait and find out ;D**

**By the way, I had a number of PMs wishing me luck on my hockey tryouts...so thanks so much! I really appreciated it and I did really well at the tryouts! :D**

**I don't think I'll be able to update for a while now since I have exams and projects all throughout this month (school ends in less than a month now, so I have so many things to do...*sobs*). So just a heads up there!**

**And sorry about taking this chapter down...had some stuff I wanted to edit soooo yeah.**

**Happy reading! :)**

**- Red**


	12. Talk Dirty To Me

**A/N: Uploading this chapter so I can make you guys wait it out until the next one...and I mean, you will potentially be waiting it out for another month until I finish my finals and all that good stuff. Again, another really long chapter! Hope you guys enjoy! I always encourage you to leave a review and tell me what you think :D**

**Elsa and Anna have a very...intimate chat (hence the chapter title)...and other stuff happens.**

**Happy reading!**

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Chapter 12 – Talk Dirty To Me

"_Give a little love, give me just enough, so that I can hang on tight." – Don't Let Me Fall, by Lenka_

**Trigger warning: Mentions of rape as well as depression.**

**One week later**

"Elsa…" Anna mumbled in her sleep.

"Yeah?" Elsa replied. When she didn't receive a response, she immediately sat up in bed and faced her sister.

"Elsa…no."

Elsa watched as Anna began to squirm around under the sheets. _Shit, _she thought. It had taken a lot of persuading, but over the last couple weeks Anna managed to convince Elsa to share a bed with her. It had helped both of them immensely. Elsa was able to fall asleep more easily now with Anna next to her, and in turn the redhead had felt safer having Elsa with her.

"Anna…wake up," Elsa said, shaking her sister's shoulders a little to try and rouse her out of sleep.

"Please…no!" Anna was thrashing now, and Elsa could see the pain evident on her sister's face. "Elsa!" Anna screamed. She shot up in the bed clutching her chest and panting heavily as a cold sweat set in on her, and soon her green nightdress was soaked with her sweat.

"Anna, it's okay. It was just a dream," Elsa said. She went to put her arms around Anna, but the redhead pushed herself away slightly and looked into Elsa's eyes with an expression that the older girl knew all too well to be fear. "What's wrong?"

"You…oh God, it was so bad," Anna gasped as she continued to try and level her breathing.

Elsa shifted slightly and leaned her back against the bed board. And as much as she wanted to deny it, she already had a feeling of what Anna's dream was about.

"I hurt you didn't I?" Elsa let out, bracing herself for the response.

"It was…so m-much worse…than that." Anna grabbed a pillow from behind her and buried her face into it before letting out the tears that had filled her eyes. Elsa really didn't know what to do or say. She wasn't good with comforting people since she had none of that growing up, but she did feel her heart clenching in her chest, and every beat sent a wave of pain through her whole body.

Anna wasn't sure if she could muster up the strength to tell her sister the awful nightmare she just experienced. She knew Elsa promised she'd never hurt her, but this dream…it felt so _real. _And after a few more moments of silence, Anna decided that it would be best if she told Elsa.

"We were in a different world, and we were creatures so far from human, I can't even begin to describe what we were. And I looked up and saw you. Y-you…were standing there, with this dark…evil grin on your face. And I should have known when…when I saw blood dripping from your hands. But it w-wasn't your blood. I sh-should've known…but I was so caught up in the memories of how I had once held your hands so tightly.

"And then y-your teeth were these sharp fangs. I knew I should have been running from you at that point, but…I couldn't stop staring at your lips… Thinking about how I kissed them so many times before. And then you were pinning me down. Your eyes…they were completely black, and then…then y-you…you tore through my chest." Anna stopped abruptly as she held her hands over her heart as the painful images racked her mind.

"You had this look…a look of pure satisfaction on your face. And then you just…you r-ripped my h-heart out. I remember screaming in pain…but not from the feeling of my heart being ripped out. I screamed from the thought of…of th-thinking you had done it before."

Anna broke down into tears once she finished, and now Elsa really had no clue what to do. _She dreamt I killed her…God, I really am a monster. _

"I…Anna…uh, you don't have to worry about that," Elsa said slowly, being cautious with her words as she knew she was treading in very sensitive territory now. "And I'm sorry I've become such a monster over the years. You would never have thought of that if I wasn't a senseless murderer."

"But…you're not. Elsa, I know you'd never hurt me. But it just felt so real…and it hurts even more when I know the stories about you are true. And I hate the fact that I'm in love with you…because those people don't see what I see in you. You aren't what they think you are Elsa."

"So then why did you dream that?" Elsa asked.

"It…it's Darce," Anna got out weakly. "I can't handle knowing that you're torturing him. Your hands that hold me, that touch me, are the same ones that beat him. Your lips that kiss me are the same ones that yell degrading things at him. Your eyes that look at me with so much love and happiness are the same ones that look at him with hatred. And it disturbs me…that you can become two different people."

"I'm trying," Elsa said. It was the only way she could respond. The shock of Anna's words were still sinking in, and she never had any idea how much her actions pained her sister.

"Just kill him…please," Anna replied. "It would make me feel safer too. Whenever I think of what he did to me…it makes me afraid again, that he's still here. And I know you'd never let him get out and I know you'd never let anyone else hurt me, but I'd just feel better if he wasn't here anymore. If he's dead, I'll know I'm safe."

"Then that's the first thing I'll do." Elsa's tone of voice sounded so distant to Anna, and it frightened her a bit too; how nonchalant Elsa was acting about this. But Elsa couldn't help it. She was still caught up in the shock that her sister dreamt she had _killed _her. And she knew she needed to convince Anna she didn't have to worry about any of that.

"Anna," Elsa said wearily, not sure of how she was going to handle this topic. "If your dream felt so real, you clearly have some sort of underlying fear of me. Don't deny it, because it's true. And I think, in some way…you should tell me about what happened with Darce. I just think it might get rid of some of your fear. The only reason I've been saying that so much is because it's really important Anna."

"Promise me you'll…kill Darce," Anna replied.

"Anna, I wanted to kill him the day I found you in the tower. I just…I wanted to make him realize how much pain he put you through. I'm sorry…I didn't know it upset you so much."

"He ruined everything for me Elsa," Anna said, defeat and sadness laced throughout her voice. "I feel like I'll never be able to trust someone enough for me to share that…that intimate part of me, and all because he took that from me. He took my chance of having that experience the right way and he…he…" Anna's words trailed off as she broke down into tears. Elsa was contemplating whether or not she should comfort her sister, considering the redhead probably wasn't over her nightmare yet.

_Ah screw it, _Elsa thought. She hesitantly reached her arms out to circle around Anna's waist, and the younger girl immediately gave in to her sister's touch. Elsa brought Anna towards her, and the redhead buried her face into the crook of Elsa's neck as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

"You don't need to worry about him anymore. I'll never let anyone else hurt you either." Elsa wasn't sure when she figured out what it was that Anna was so afraid of, but the realization hit her so hard she needed a few moments to compose herself and steady her breathing. Anna was completely broken by the brutality of Darce, and Elsa was the only one she trusted to put her back together. _We both need saving, _Elsa thought. "And Anna…I know why you had that nightmare about me."

"How do you know if I can't even understand it?" Anna mumbled into her sister's chest.

"I…I don't know. But all that matters is that I can promise you the one thing you're frightened of." Elsa paused for a moment and placed a soft kiss on the top of her sister's head, closing her eyes and taking in the light strawberry scent of Anna's hair. "I promise you Anna, I'll never break your heart."

Those were the words Anna needed to hear now. True, Elsa hadn't told her she loved her…but this was as close as she'd get for now, and it made Anna so happy to hear it too. "Can I tell you now?" Anna asked in a hushed voice, as it was the only thing keeping her mind occupied right now aside from the fact that she knew her heart belonged to Elsa now.

"Tell me what?"

"About…Darce…"

"Anna, if you don't think you're ready…I'm not pushing you to tell me. Whenever you feel like it. I'll always listen though," Elsa replied.

_Christ, Elsa, you're too perfect. _"But I want to tell you now. I…I need to, because Elsa, I want to have a relationship with you, and you need to know this. I have to get this out."

"I'm listening," Elsa said, sinking down a bit into the bed so she was more comfortable.

"It had only been going on for about five months before you came here," Anna started. "I'm not sure what got into Darce, but he had this crazy idea that I was planning to overthrow him and take the throne for myself." Elsa scoffed at the ridiculous idea. "I know…crazy right?"

"Well actually…it's stupid because everyone knows _I'm _supposed to be queen," Elsa said. She wanted to keep the mood light for as long as she could, and the soft giggle that came from her sister in return brought a smile to her face.

"But it was so weird," Anna continued. "He was really convinced that I was going to kill him. The first thing he did was lock me in the tower. I guess I was nervous…I'm not sure. It was frightening to think that he had me at his mercy up there. And he did.

"Once or twice a week he would come to me and ask me what my plans were. Of course, I couldn't answer, because there were no plans. But Darce…he was paranoid about it. He kept asking me and asking me…until eventually he started to hit me… It was so terrifying. If…If I didn't answer with what he wanted to hear, he'd slap me or punch me. I kept telling him to stop, but that only made him angrier." Anna paused for a moment to collect herself, and Elsa felt the redhead's grip tighten around her as she let her tears escape into her nightshirt for a few moments. It broke Elsa's heart to hear Anna like this. And it practically destroyed her because she knew she wasn't in Arendelle to save her sister right when this started.

"It…only g-got worse f-from there," Anna continued. "He'd beat me whenever he came to me…and soon the whippings started. T-they weren't as often though…he only whipped me maybe four or five times. I have scars from them…not as much as y-you though. And it hurts me to know that you had it worse than me."

"We both had it pretty bad Anna," Elsa said softly into her sister's ear before she placed a small kiss on the redhead's temple.

"I-it got…so bad Elsa. After a couple months, he basically went insane. He started killing civilians he thought were involved with my plan…but what plan? I tried telling him over and over again that there was nothing. He didn't need to be afraid of anything happening to him. That sent him over the edge. That's when…when he st-started…"

And Anna completely broke down. She grazed over the beatings and whippings she received simply because they paled in comparison to how Darce violated her. She would never be able to get the image of him hovering over her out of her head. She'd never forget how he pinned her to the ground, how he held his hand over her mouth so no one would hear her scream, how he made her feel so helpless…how he forced himself inside of her.

"It…w-was so bad," Anna got out in between sobs. "I…I never k-knew someone was…capable of h-hurting me like that. He was so much stronger than me and he kept hurting me and hurting me. He…he forced himself in-into me. And I just re-remember crying and y-yelling to stop…"

"And you don't have to worry about it anymore," Elsa said softly, placing another kiss this time to the top of Anna's head.

Anna propped herself up on top of Elsa and looked into her sister's dark eyes with her own teal blue ones filled with tears. She felt Elsa's arms tighten their grip on her waist, and the redhead felt a wave of emotions flow through her. She wanted Elsa right now…wanted her sister to give her the experience Darce took from her. She wanted Elsa to fix her broken heart, and that was something her sister was already accomplishing. She wanted Elsa to be her big sister, her best friend, her protector, her knight in shining armor…her lover. She wanted so many things from Elsa…and in some ways, Anna felt she was being too greedy. _She's one person, _Anna thought. _There's only so much she can do. _

But little did Anna know that Elsa wanted nothing more than to fulfill all those roles for her. And on top of that, Elsa was also feeling the intense desire to take her sister growing within her with each passing second. _Don't do it Elsa, _she told herself. _You told her you'd wait. You can't give in to these desires yet…even if she's on top of you right now, and even if she's pressed against you, and even if she's looking at you with bedroom eyes… Just, don't do it. Come on, she's sixteen! She needs more time to think about something like this. You can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do yet. Christ, why are you always so selfish? _Elsa had no idea why she was blaming herself for her feelings…maybe because she was the older sibling? She was supposed to be the responsible one and make choices that would benefit both her and Anna.

Or maybe it was the fact that they were _sisters. This is incest, _Elsa told herself. _Sisters aren't supposed to love each other in this way. What will I say when people ask me why I don't want to marry? 'Oh yeah, sorry Arendelle won't have an heir…I'm too busy fucking my own sister.' Wait, you wouldn't be fucking her…don't degrade her like that you incestuous pig. You'd be…what's the phrase? Making love? Yeah, you'd be making love to her._

"I love you Elsa," Anna said before she leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

_Damn it, _Elsa thought. And she kissed Anna back with reckless abandon as she let her emotions and desires take control of her. _You need to stop Elsa, _she told herself as she flipped their positions on the bed so now she was straddling the younger girl. _Seriously…stop. _But Anna's lips were just so addicting, her smell was so intoxicating, and the small whimpers and moans she let out as Elsa roamed her tongue around her mouth were so arousing and only led Elsa to continue further.

_Stop this right now Elsa. _She moved her lips from Anna's, and trailed kisses along her jawline before moving down to the base of her neck. She felt one of Anna's hands tangle itself in her raven black hair, while her sister's other hand slipped under her nightshirt, and the strawberry blonde was only turned on even more as she felt Elsa's abdominal muscles tense under her touch as she roamed her hand around to her sister's back. _You are not having sex with her right now Elsa…come on, stop. _She grazed her teeth along the length of Anna's neck, and then moved her lips back down to Anna's sweet spot where her neck and collarbone met. Elsa teased Anna for a moment, carelessly kissing and sucking at the skin, which earned a few small moans from the redhead, until she lightly nipped at the skin. Anna's grip on her sister's head and back tightened a bit, and soon her nails were digging into Elsa's back as the older girl bit down harder on her sweet spot.

"Mm…Elsa…" Anna panted, her heartbeat speeding up at the intense arousal that coursed through her.

_That should leave a mark, _Elsa thought, smiling against Anna's skin before she brought her lips back to her sister's. Anna kissed her back with fervor, taking more control over Elsa this time as she moved her tongue into her older sister's mouth. _God that's hot, _Elsa thought, letting out a groan into Anna's mouth. _Fuck…we shouldn't be doing this though. _And neither girl was aware of how far Elsa's hands had made it up Anna's nightdress until the younger girl pulled away suddenly, letting out a short gasp of shock, pleasure and…fear.

"Elsa," the redhead got out as she placed her hands on Elsa's arms, stopping her sisters' hands from their journey to her already throbbing and, no doubt, dripping wet core.

Elsa looked down to see her hands halfway up Anna's thighs, and she immediately pulled them away. "Shit…I, uh…I'm sorry Anna. I don't - ,"

"No…you didn't do anything wrong," Anna said still slightly out of breath. "I just…I never really gave it much thought but…you're right. We should…we should wait. I'm really not ready for…for something like this yet."

Elsa let out a sigh and dropped her head onto Anna's chest, the redhead's heartbeat still continuing to slow down. Her arms circled Anna's waist as she fell onto the bed next to her, and in turn Anna wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

"It's okay," Elsa replied. "I…I just got carried away a little. I'm fine with waiting. I mean, we've only been back together for about a month. We shouldn't rush anything. I don't want you to be afraid of this though."

"I'm not…it's just Darce. Whenever you come even remotely close to touching me in an intimate way…I just picture him and what he did to me. It-it's hard to forget."

"Something like that will be with you forever," Elsa said. "And I swear, he's gonna have it so bad when I get my hands on him again. I'll…I'll never get over what he did to you either. He ruined any chance you had at having a special, memorable first time Anna."

"No he didn't… I know you'll show me what it feels like…the right way," Anna replied with a smile, placing a small kiss on Elsa's cheek. "And speaking of first times…what was yours like?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me Elsa…what was it like?"

"My sex life has nothing to do with us Anna," Elsa said.

"What are you talking about? Of course it has something to do with us! I'm your sister… I'm supposed to ask you weird things and make you feel awkward! I want to know!"

"Fine, fine…calm down," Elsa replied with a light laugh. "It wasn't anything romantic. I was…a little over fourteen - ,"

"Wait…you lost your virginity when you were fourteen?" Anna asked. "Isn't that uh…a little young?"

"Hey…I looked like I could be seventeen so yeah…anyway, there was a family visiting from China. And they had a daughter…Mulan, I think her name was. She was only a year older than me…but she too looked like she was seventeen. She was training to be in China's military, so she had a pretty nice body - ,"

"I don't think it could be any better than yours," Anna said, shooting Elsa a wink as she slid one of her hands under Elsa's shirt, to which Elsa gladly responded by lifting her shirt up, revealing an athletic, toned abdomen. And Anna noticed how there were a few scars on Elsa's stomach as well. "You need to explain these to me at some point too," Anna mumbled. "But anyway…back to this Chinese chick."

"Uh…yeah," Elsa replied, taking Anna's hand off her stomach to hold it in one of her own. "So we hit it off…we both found each other attractive. Neither of us was expecting it to happen, but we started kissing and well, one thing led to another…"

"Who was on top? Did it hurt? Did you see her again after that?"

"Whoa, slow down…I was on top, because let's face it, I'm always the stronger one," Elsa bragged, shooting Anna a smug look. "And I mean…I don't remember if it hurt or not. I don't think it did though. And no, I didn't see her again."

"So that's what you did then…you just…nail and bail?"

"Christ Anna!" Elsa exclaimed, letting out a soft, genuine laugh. The sound brought a smile to Anna's face, and the redhead wished Elsa could be like this all the time. "I didn't…do that to…Belle," Elsa got out in between her gasps of air as she continued to laugh.

"How many times did you have sex with Belle?"

"I don't know…a lot."

"Do you think sex with me would be better?"

"Definitely," Elsa replied, lightly brushing her lips over Anna's. "Belle was just fun for me. I wasn't serious about having a relationship with her. We just…fucked…a few times a week actually."

"You think you could do me more than you did her?" Anna asked, a seductive grin forming on her face.

"Okay…you obviously need to get some more sleep. It's nearly three in the morning. I have to get up soon and get rid of Darce…so…back to sleep you go," Elsa said quickly.

"I want to know though!" Anna whined. She put on her pouting face, and from what she remembered from their short childhood, this face always worked on Elsa.

"God that face…you know my weaknesses too well," Elsa replied. "We'll see what happens…does that suffice?"

"Um…let me see…no."

"Why exactly do you want to know this so badly?"

"Uh…because when it finally happens, I want it to be the best sex ever. I want you to give me the experience I missed out on. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. That toe curling, nail scratching, neck biting sex when you make me scream your name all night long as I - ,"

"Yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about," Elsa said cutting her sister off. "And to be honest with you, I don't think our first time will necessarily be exactly like that. But maybe after that it could be." Elsa winked at Anna before she captured the redhead's lips with her own. "And only, I mean _only, _after our first time will something like that happen." An extremely seductive grin came across Elsa's face as she playfully slid Anna's nightdress up again. She wasn't sure what was prompting her to do this now, but it definitely had something to do with the way Anna was looking at her: biting her lower lip with her eyes glazed over with lust and want.

"I'll fuck you so hard you _will _be screaming my name so loud the entire kingdom will hear it." Elsa kissed her sister again, this time on her jawline. "Your nails will be digging into my back so much they'll draw blood." She started tracing patterns with her other hand along Anna's hip, moving towards her sister's intensely heated and wet core. "You'll leave so many bruises on my neck and shoulders from biting me so hard." Elsa rolled on top of Anna again, pressing her body flush against her sister's, her lips moving down slowly to Anna's sweet spot. She smiled as Anna's breathing became more labored.

Elsa took it a step further this time, as she straddled her sister before gently lowering herself onto Anna again, pressing her core, intensely aroused as well, onto Anna's, albeit through both of their panties.

"Christ…Elsa!" Anna moaned fairly loudly. Elsa placed her mouth over her sister's to swallow the sound. She was pretty sure Anna was growing close to a release from the way she was squirming beneath her, but Elsa wouldn't let the redhead have that satisfaction yet. _I can still play with her a little longer._

"Just imagine how good it'll be," Elsa whispered into Anna's ear, her breath coming out as a cold puff of air as the temperature in the room dropped. "You, under me, screaming my name all night long, begging me to fuck you faster and harder." The thought sent another wave of arousal through both Anna and Elsa, and the older girl couldn't control the small groan that escaped her mouth. "Imagine how good it would feel to have me inside you, to have me fuck you so hard you wake up sore the next morning."

"God…Elsa…" Anna gasped. It wasn't even happening, but the pictures Elsa was putting in her head made her feel like it was. And she was so close to her release. Elsa's whispering in her ear, the feeling of Elsa's core pressed against her own, the feeling of Elsa's cool skin on her hands…it was enough to send her over the edge. And Elsa was the only person she would allow to talk to her in this way. Elsa was the only person Anna wanted this with.

"I'll fuck you and make you come so hard you'll see stars." Elsa felt Anna's grip on her sides tighten, and she flinched slightly at how strong her sister was holding on to her. "But... our first time will be slower, sweeter, and more romantic. You'll still end up screaming, because I have a feeling you'll be very loud during sex. But for our first time, I think we should refer to it as 'making love', because that's what we'll be doing. And after that…then we'll _fuck." _And with that, Elsa climbed off of Anna and hopped out of the bed.

"Elsa," Anna groaned in frustration.

"Did I say something you didn't like?" Elsa responded coyly, smirking at her very flustered sister still lying on the bed.

"Fuck no…you can't keep doing this to me though."

"And why not?"

"You keep turning me on so much and then you end it right as I'm on the edge," Anna answered still breathing heavily.

"Just think: Now you have something to look forward to. Maybe I'll even get you to a point where you'll be pleading for me to fuck you."

"Christ, Elsa stop…you're such a tease!" Anna lazily threw one of the pillows at her sister, who easily evaded it in one swift motion. "And why are you out of bed right now?"

"Turns out I really can't wait to kill Darce. And if he's gone, then that will move us closer to sex."

"I thought you said you didn't want to rush."

"No I don't…but if I said I wanted to take you right now would you really say no?" Elsa asked.

"I'd let you," Anna said.

"Hey…I also said our first time would be more romantic. I honestly want it to be too. I want to give you the experience of having someone truly make love to you." Elsa walked over to her wardrobe and grabbed a clean pair of panties – yeah, she was soaked – as well as a pair of worn out black work pants. Then she grabbed a blue bra and a plain black shirt, and she quickly changed, throwing her night clothes in a pile on the floor as she didn't really care where they ended up at the moment. She only had one thing on her mind: Kill Darce.

"You're going now?" Anna asked.

"Yeah." Elsa walked back over to her sister and leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips. "It won't take long. I'll probably be back before you even wake up."

"Oh trust me Elsa, I think I'll be up for a long time after hearing the things you just told me."

"Or…you could dream about them?" Elsa suggested, a somewhat mischievous grin coming to her face as she whispered in Anna's ear, "That would be erotic, and it'd probably make you so wet."

"Stop Elsa," Anna got out weakly as she tried to suppress a moan. "Go…kill people…and don't tell me about how you did it after please."

"I won't. I'll be back soon Snowflake," Elsa said. Both girls were a bit shocked when the term of endearment left Elsa's lips. Well…Anna was a bit more surprised than Elsa.

"I always loved it when you called me that," the redhead replied with a wide smile.

"Me too," Elsa said softly, kissing Anna again before she headed to the door. "I'll see you soon, and if you say you won't be able to fall asleep again…meet me for breakfast?"

"Absolutely," Anna answered. "I love you Elsa."

Elsa flashed a genuine smile back at Anna, the older girl's eyes conveying the same message back to her, and Anna felt her heart melt in her chest. _God, why is she so perfect?_ She replayed that very dirty, arousing conversation they had just minutes ago in her head. _So we went from me talking about how Darce hurt me, to Elsa's first time, to talking about what _our _first time would be like…glad we can cover so many topics at once. God, Elsa is such a tease. It's not fair! Ugh…why am I so in love with her? I really have it bad… _And eventually, she did find her eyes growing heavy from the few hours of sleep she lost. And for the first time in a _long _time, Anna drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

"It's your lucky day Darce," Elsa announced as she approached his cell.

"I thought you'd never say that," he answered smugly.

"Oh well…after my sister just told me what you did to her, I realized how terrible of a person you really are."

"Hey, at least I'm the first one the fuck the Princess."

Elsa's face instantly hardened as she sent a blade of ice careening into Darce's already torn shoulder. He screeched in pain as the blade slammed through his entire shoulder, pulling and damaging the previously torn flesh even more.

"Don't degrade my sister like that," Elsa hissed. _Ironic, because you were just telling Anna how you would fuck her. _

"I'm…s-surprised you…haven't d-done it yet," Darce got out weakly, the blood pouring out of his shoulder.

"But I will soon enough," Elsa replied, a smirk crossing her face as she neared the bloodied man in front of her. "Hearing Anna tell me about how you abused her, how she has scars on her back from you, how you forced yourself onto her…it all made me grow very impatient with what I've been doing to you for the last month. And that's the funny thing: It's only been a month! I don't think you'd even last four more with me. But that's okay, because it ends today. I don't want my sister being afraid anymore."

With the little strength he had left, Darce tried to lunge at Elsa. He had worked on sharpening the metal cuffs on his hands, scraping away at them every day until they each had a small, sharp point on the front.

Elsa was caught off guard a little, and she jumped back just as the sharpened cuffs came at her, but they still grazed her shoulder, and they were sharp enough to draw blood. She barely flinched as the metal cut into her skin, and she only smirked at Darce as she placed a layer of ice over his arms to freeze them in place. And as she inched closer to Darce, frost and ice covered her wound, freezing the blood and sealing over her skin before it evaporated into thin air, leaving nothing but a tear in her shirt behind.

"I'm glad you saw that Darce," Elsa said. "See, my powers have gotten so strong they even protect my body. I don't even have to think about it for it to happen. It fascinates me though, and I don't think I'll ever be able to figure it out." She placed one of her hands on the side of Darce's face, and the other found its way to the back of his head. "I'm not going to kill you slowly, although I know that's what you were hoping for," she continued, a mocking tone filling her voice. "I can't stand knowing that you're still here. You had the audacity to murder my people and to violate my sister. _My sister._ The only person I love in this entire world…and you ruined that experience for her. And you'll soon be thankful that I killed you now, because the suffering that will come to the Southern Isles…it won't be fun for them."

Darce widened his eyes at the revelation by Elsa. He knew she was angry, but he didn't know she'd go so far as to start a full out war against his home kingdom.

"Your kingdom ruined the lives of so many people, and they used _me _to do that for them. They saw me as nothing more than a weapon, a tool, to use against people. They turned me into a monster, and there is no hope of me ever coming back from this dark place I've gone to."

And with one quick motion of her arms and wrists, Elsa snapped his neck, and it was over. She let his body fall to the ground, and didn't bother to look back as she exited his cell.

"Take care of his body," she instructed the guards waiting outside the dungeon door. "I don't want to see it. I don't even want to know what you did with it. Just…get rid of it."

"Yes, Your Majesty," they responded in unison before heading down the dungeon stairs.

Elsa smirked to herself as she ran her hand through her hair, pushing her bangs out of her face in the process. _I haven't even been gone for an hour yet, _she thought. She decided not to return to Anna yet, and instead she veered off in the direction of Silas's room.

* * *

"I received these letters," Silas said, handing a couple envelopes over to Elsa. "I don't think you'll like either of them."

She tore open the first one, which had the seal of the Southern Isles stamped on it. _Well this can't be good. _Her thoughts were only confirmed as she started to read the letter.

_Silas,_

_ I know that you accompanied Elsa over to Arendelle, and I understand that you predicted you'd be gone for only a couple weeks. It's been nearly a month now, and I request that you return immediately. Corona is erupting with revolts against our brothers, and we need Elsa to settle them down. _

_ Safe travels. Sincerely,_

_ Prince Edmund_

"Edmund, that bastard," Elsa muttered under her breath. "I completely forgot he even existed."

"Yeah well…if we don't go back, he'll take over. He's ruthless too. He'll probably kill the remaining brothers that are still in the Southern Isles to get to the throne."

"I can't go back though. I'm turning twenty in a couple of weeks, and once that happens the people here will start making plans for my coronation…if they haven't done that already," Elsa replied. "Just…make something up. Tell them I'm sick, and I don't want to bring anything back with me."

"You really think they'll buy it?"

"It's a letter Silas, you can write anything."

"Oh…and that second one is from Belle," he told her as he sat down at his desk and began to compose a letter back to Prince Edmund.

Elsa was reluctant to open the envelope mainly because she didn't want to deal with relationship issues right now. _Oh fuck it, we aren't even together. It's not like it matters._

_Elsa,_

_ I haven't heard from you, and just wanted to make sure you're okay. Also, how is your sister? Things are alright over here, but they need you back so you can go to Corona…that's what I heard. Hopefully you can make it back soon. I miss you and love you._

_ Belle_

"Okay, our stories need to be the same. You're writing that I'm sick and…what else?" Elsa asked.

"Oh, just that the castle doctor suggested we give it a week or two before we head out," Silas answered.

"Alright, that's fine," Elsa said as she began to compose her own letter back to Belle.

_Belle,_

_ I'm sorry I haven't written to you lately. I had to take care of a few things here but know that I'm fine. Anna's okay too. It feels good to be back with her after all this time. Unfortunately, I'm sick at the moment. The doctor said it was just a minor cold, but I should give it a week or two just in case. I hope to see you soon._

_ I love you._

_ Elsa_

"Is it bad that this entire letter is a lie?" Elsa asked, holding up the sheet of paper.

"I mean, I think you should at least tell her you're not coming back…in the next letter though. She deserves to know that much."

"What if she asks why? I mean, the obvious is that I decided to become Queen of Arendelle. But Belle would want to come here and be with me. What do I say then? I certainly can't tell her that we can't be with each other because I'm sleeping with my sister," Elsa said.

"You'll figure it out when she asks," Silas answered. "And speaking of sleeping with Anna, I heard her scream last night…that didn't have anything to do with you, did it?"

"Actually it did, but it's not the reason you're thinking of. She had a nightmare. I'd…rather not talk about it again, because it actually rattled me a little…okay, a lot. But all you really need to know is that we didn't have sex."

"Are you going to any time soon?"

"Why are you so interested in our sex life now? Because we don't have one at the moment, although we _did _have an extremely dirty conversation a couple hours ago."

"Oh really now?" Silas replied, raising an eyebrow at Elsa.

"Yes, really. It was fun, and hot, and sexy…and it convinced me that I might actually have to seal our entire room with ice when it happens because I have a feeling Anna will be very vocal."

"Hmm, I wouldn't be surprised. You always know how to make them scream," Silas said. "Oh, and on a completely unrelated note: A blonde boy stopped by the castle gates the other day. Said his name was Kristoff and he wanted to know how Anna was doing. I told him she was okay but she couldn't see him right now and then said that I would relay his message to you."

"Thanks… He's a good friend of Anna's. He was there for her all those years while I was gone."

"He seemed like a good man…looked about eighteen…He was good looking. Actually, scratch that…he was _very _good looking."

"Okay Silas, you are _not _hitting on my sister's friend right now," Elsa said.

"I'll refrain," Silas replied, lifting his hands into the air in mock defeat. "Oh…I do have some bad news though."

"You are just all over the place today," Elsa let out.

"Sorry…But your council wants to meet with you. One of them, I can't remember his name, told me that they wanted to talk about some things with you if you're to become queen next year. And the first thing they're planning on getting out of the way is finding you a suitor."

Elsa could have sworn she had a heart attack just then. "What? No…no no no no no. They are not finding a suitor I've never met, and I am not marrying anytime soon unless I'm getting married to Anna, and I…holy shit, I just said that didn't I?"

"Yes…and it's adorable. You're already thinking about that?" Silas asked, a smile growing on his face. It made him so happy to know that Elsa loved someone. He knew she wasn't the monster she thought she was, and this proved it.

"Um…kind of? I don't know. We said we wanted to be together. It's only been a month though! Why am I thinking about this so early?"

"You're in love…head over heels actually."

"What am I going to say at this council meeting Silas? 'Oh, I'm not marrying because I'm already in a relationship with my sister.'"

"Well first, I think you should make it clear that you do in fact like women…and only women. That might not go over well with them, but at least they'll know so they aren't always questioning why you don't want to marry," Silas offered.

"Why is this so difficult?" Elsa rested her head on Silas's shoulder and let out a frustrated groan into his shirt. The young man only smiled in return and put his arm around Elsa.

"I hate to make things worse but…how exactly will Arendelle have an heir?"

"I don't know. We'll adopt or, if Anna really wants a child of her own…we'll figure something out. I'd rather not think that far into our future right now though. But how long can we keep our relationship secret?"

"Well, you are a good liar and it is normal for sisters to spend time with each other so…I can't imagine it'll be that hard."

"I don't want to rush anything with her either," Elsa said. "In a way, I feel like she's the one rushing into this whole sex thing…just because of what Darce did to her. She wants that experience…like, right away basically."

"But you want it to be special for her," Silas finished. "And that's fine. That shows you care. Elsa, I know you've convinced yourself that you're not capable of loving anyone, but you can. There really isn't any explanation. Anna _is _thawing your frozen heart. She'll never stop loving you, and you need to believe it yourself."

"I'm sure I'll end up doing something stupid that makes her afraid of me or makes it so she can't trust me," Elsa let out.

"No you won't. And I know you won't, because you love her. You wouldn't do that to her. You already promised yourself you wouldn't hurt her again."

"I just wish she remembered what happened. When our parents took her to the trolls, they erased any memory she might have of my magic. All the good things and the bad things…gone."

"Maybe there's a way to get them back?" Silas speculated. "Like…can the trolls give the memories back to her?"

"I doubt it."

"You're so pessimistic. Go see them…you never know."

"I don't think that would help our relationship," Elsa said. "We're going to have enough things coming between us, and her getting those memories back will only make things worse. I'd have to explain things to her…I already have so much to begin with!"

"That's how you'll build trust with her. I think - ,"

Silas was interrupted by a fierce knock on his door. He wasn't expecting anyone, and he didn't have a clue who would want to see him now.

"Princess Elsa!" the voice called.

"It's Talbot," Silas said. "I have no idea what he wants but…"

The pounding on the door grew more urgent, and Elsa let out a sigh as she got up to open it. She was met with dark, angry brown eyes, and Talbot immediately went for Elsa.

"You," he hissed. "You killed my brother."

Elsa blasted him back with a bolt of ice, and Silas rushed out of the room to try and help her. But as quickly as Talbot had tried to put a hold on Elsa, the older man was already pinned against the wall by shackles of ice on his hands and feet.

"Yes, I killed Darce," Elsa repeated. "I'm sorry for your loss." Her voice was devoid of any emotion whatsoever, and a fearful chill ran down Talbot's spine. "And you just tried to kill me. I can't have that in my castle now can I? Wouldn't want anyone trying to assassinate the queen."

Elsa conjured a sword of ice in her hand. It was her own sword, Skyfall, and she had grown accustomed to using it whenever she went on a mission with the Southern Isles. It was ruthless, dangerous, and unstoppable. Elsa always felt like her powers grew a hundred times stronger whenever she was holding Skyfall in her hands. _Killing them with royalty, _Elsa thought sarcastically.

She crafted it when she entered an extremely dark period in her life. When she was seventeen, Elsa had an extremely hard time handling her depression. Everything from not seeing Anna to feeling like she was a monster almost led her to having a mental breakdown. She hated and cursed herself for having this magic inside of her, and during battle one day she lifted her hands and Skyfall appeared.

It had so many intricate details: Arendelle's seal etched into the bottom of the handle, tiny, razor sharp edges along the blade that could easily slice through skin, a sharpened point that could pierce through bone as if it was a twig, and small carvings of snowflakes ran up and down the blade. It was usually a white-blue color, but now it had a red glow to it as it reflected Elsa's anger. She pressed the tip against Talbot's chest, and the man took a long inhale of air as he braced himself for the inevitable consequence of what he had tried to do, but a calling of Elsa's name stopped all of it.

"Elsa, what are you doing?" Anna shouted as she came down the hallway to where her sister stood motionless, still holding the sword to Talbot's chest.

"He pulled a knife on me…he was trying to kill me," Elsa said back, her voice flat and unwavering.

"That doesn't mean you need to kill him!"

"He tried to kill me," Elsa repeated. "That counts as treason, and in any kingdom that's punishable by death."

"Really Elsa? After all we talked about, you're willing to throw it away now? I thought you were trying to change!" Anna yelled.

That statement got to Elsa, and she faltered a bit in her decision, before she finally lowered her sword and released Talbot from his restraints. With a flick of her hand, Skyfall disappeared into thin air, and once he was sure she was defenseless, Talbot swiftly lunged at Elsa with his knife drawn.

Elsa jumped back just in time, and the blade of the knife only grazed her collarbone. The blood disappeared as quickly as it was drawn as Elsa's powers took over and sealed the wound instantly. She easily evaded Talbot's sloppy, uncalculated attacks. When he was in a vulnerable position after nearly losing his footing for a moment, Elsa pounced on the opportunity and blasted the knife out of his hand with a bolt of ice.

Silas stepped in just as Elsa was about to send another bolt of ice through Talbot's chest. He pulled his brother away, twisting his arms behind him in the process, rendering him immobile, while Anna watched the scene with fear in her eyes.

"Talbot," Elsa started, "you do realize that if we were in any other situation I would have killed you. But I won't do that. Instead, I'm sending you back to the Southern Isles."

"What? You can't do that!" he shouted back.

"I can do whatever I want. I'm actually doing you a favor, because once you return, you'll be the rightful king. Whereas, if you stay here, I'll just kill you once I become queen. Which would you prefer?"

"Fine…" Talbot grumbled, calming down slightly as Silas loosened his grip on his arms. "I'll pack my things, and I want out of Arendelle next week."

"My pleasure," Elsa responded, a smug grin crossing her face. "And just know that if you or anyone else from the Southern Isles steps foot in Arendelle…I'll kill them without a second thought."

"Whatever," he said, stalking away from the trio standing before him.

"Were you really going to kill him?" Anna asked after a few moments of tense silence.

She was hoping desperately that Elsa would tell her no. Or at least, she wanted Elsa to say she was thinking about whether or not she would. Anna didn't want Elsa to walk further down the dark path she was traveling. She wanted to know Elsa was trying.

"I probably would have," Elsa answered.

"Did you want to?"

"Not necessarily," Elsa said, and Anna saw the truth resonating in her sister's dark eyes. "But he tried to kill me, so technically I had every right to execute him. Look Anna, I was _trained _to murder people. It's my first instinct, but I'm trying…for you."

"Thank you," Anna replied smiling at her sister.

* * *

Later that day, Elsa had a meeting with her council members. She wasn't sure why they were meeting now, but one of her military officers, Kace, had suggested they gather right away since there was a very important matter at hand.

"Why can't you tell me what this is about?" Elsa asked, frustration lining her voice as the young woman in front of her led her into the conference room.

"Because I don't know what it is," Kace answered. "All I can say is that if they called a meeting this day then it has to be important. You also took away Talbot's power and you will be queen next year, so it only makes sense that you'd be taking over the kingdom's internal and external affairs."

Elsa only grunted in response as she entered the room. All the members of the council rose at her presence, and Elsa quickly took a seat at the head of the long, mahogany table in the center of the room.

"Sorry to call you here on such short notice Your Majesty," an older man said. Elsa was pretty sure he introduced himself right after, but she was too irritated to focus on his name. _I missed dinner with Anna for this, _Elsa thought angrily.

"It's fine. Just…tell me whatever it is you wanted to tell me."

"Well, I don't think you'll like the news," the same man replied. "Word has spread around about what you did while you were in the Southern Isles. We, as your council members, hold no opinion towards the situation, but a particular religious group has taken action."

"Wonderful," Elsa let out dryly. "Of course it's a religious group. What are they saying?"

"They don't think a person who kills in cold blood is fit to be a queen. They believe you will abuse your power and put harsh punishments and regulations on the citizens of Arendelle."

"That's ridiculous. I never killed in cold blood," Elsa said. "I was _trained _to murder. And the people, as well as all of you, need to understand that. I will by no means abuse my power as queen. However, if I am provoked or threatened in any way, I won't hesitate to distribute punishment where it is needed."

"We completely understand," another man said. He was a little younger, and his posture and complexion reminded Elsa of her father. She immediately pushed the thought away and mentally slapped herself for even thinking of Frederick. _He's dead and he has no importance to you, _she told herself. "But that isn't what's unsettling the people," he continued.

"Christ, then what is?"

"Well…first of all – and we don't know how the priest of the church found out – but…he claims that you are attracted to the same gender," the man said hesitantly.

Elsa's eyes turned ice cold, and the temperature in the room dropped considerably, and the council members took notice.

"I will not deny it," Elsa replied through gritted teeth. She took a few deep breaths as she calmed down, and the temperature rose slightly. But still, it was progress. _These people need to know that I can control my powers. _"Well…at least that's taken care of. I was actually nervous about how I would tell all of you that, considering I am expected to find a suitor once I'm queen."

"We won't force you to do anything you don't want to," the younger man replied. "But again, that's not the matter that's been circulating. With that knowledge that you are…you know…and with your…how did he put it again?" The man flipped through a few sheets of paper before continuing. "Ah…your 'lack of cooperation' to immediately tend to Arendelle's needs - ,"

"Wait," Elsa interrupted. "This guy is mad because I've been here for a month and haven't fixed all of Arendelle's problems?"

"No…he took it even further than that. He, uh…he's been degrading your name based off of your…sexual preferences, and has been saying that a queen who cannot produce an heir is not fit to rule. Also, he's been saying the same about Princess Anna."

"He _what?" _ Elsa gripped the arms of her chair, and a layer of frost seeped out from under her hands, the temperature in the room dropping again. "I'll handle whatever that bastard has to say about me…but he has no right to speak about my sister that way."

"We understand your concern Your Majesty, but he didn't stop there. He has spread the rumors that both you and your sister are attracted to the same gender. And in that rumor, he has also added that well…um…"

"Just tell me damn it," Elsa snapped.

"He's been saying that you and the Princess have been sleeping with each other."

"Fucking bastard," Elsa muttered, standing up and storming out of the room, leaving a flurry of ice and snow behind her.

* * *

**A/N: Heya! Can I get a few reviews on this chapter? That'd be awesome...Hope you guys are enjoying the story! :D**

**I always encourage reviews...constructive criticism is great as well!**

**With school coming to an end this month (thank God), I hope to update more often...but I'm not sure how that will go since summer break might be tough because I do a ton of hockey stuff so I travel a lot...but I'll always write and update when I get the chance. So there's a big heads up for you!**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter...the next one will be...well, I'll let you find out ;)**

**Happy reading!**

**- Red**


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